Ben Folds Five Album

September '75 I was 47 inches high
my mom said by Christmas I would have
a bad-ass mother G.I. Joe
for your little minds to blow
I still got beat up after class
yeah, now I'm big and important
one angry dwarf and
200 solemn faces are you
if you really want to see me
check the papers and the TV
look who's telling who what to do
kiss my ass
goodbye

don't give me that bullshit,
you know who I am
I'm your nightmare,
little man
Vic, you stole my lunch money,
made me cry
Jane, remember second grade?
said you couldn't stand my face
rather than kiss me you said you'd rather die

I'm big and important
one angry dwarf and
200 solemn faces are you
if you really want to see me
check the papers and the TV
look who's telling who what to do
no, kiss my ass
goodbye

you'll be sorry one day
yes you will,
yes you will
you shouldn't push me around
'cause I will,
yes I will
you will be sorry when I'm big
yes you will,
yes you will
you will be sorry

now I'm big and important
one angry dwarf and
200 solemn faces are you
if you really want to see me
check the papers and the TV
no,
look who's telling who what to do
kiss my ass

kiss my ass,
kiss my ass goodbye now
kiss my ass,
kiss my ass goodbye now

kiss my ass,
kiss my ass goodbye now
kiss my ass,
kiss my ass goodbye now

(look, now I'm playing you bitch!)

(September '75 I was 47 inches high)
(September '75)
(September '75)

aah!

well, he shouted out his last word
and he stumbled through the yard
and she shattered her last china plate
and spun off in the car
when he lunged onto the hood
she stopped to tell him she'd been wrong
he was thrown head over heels
into the traffic coming on
but then...
all is fair
all is fair in love

did you get my other letters?
sometimes I think I oughta call
'cause you know I often wonder
if you open them at all
every couple nights or so
ya know, you pop into my dreams
I just can't get rid of you
like you got rid of me
ah, but I send my best
'cause God knows you've seen my worst
yeah, well...

all is fair
all is fair in love

all this breathing in
never breathing out
all this breathing in
never breathing out
all this breathing in
never breathing...

out

well, I guess she made her way
through the mob too late to hear him say
that he'd gotten all he'd wanted
a crowd to watch him bear the pain
he'd been keeping in
(so what) so what?

all is fair
all is fair in love
yeah, well,
all is fair
all is fair in love

am I right?
am I right?
and I'm lonely and I'm right
I'm lonely and I'm right
yeah!

(that's good.)
(I liked that one too.)

6 a.m.,
day after Christmas
I throw some clothes on in the dark
the smell of cold
car seat is freezing
the world is sleeping
I am
numb

up the stairs
to her apartment
she is balled up on the couch
her mom and dad
went down to Charlotte
they're not home to find us out

and we drive
now that I
have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
than I ever have before

she's a brick and I'm
drowning slowly
off the coast and I'm
headed nowhere
she's a brick and I'm
drowning slowly

they call her name
at 7:30
I pace around the parking lot
then I walk down
to buy her flowers
and sell some gifts that I got

can't you see,
it's not me you're dying for?
now she's feeling more alone
than she ever has before

she's a brick and I'm
drowning slowly
off the coast and I'm
headed nowhere
she's a brick and I'm
drowning slowly

as weeks went by
it showed that she was not fine
they told me, "Son, it's time
to tell the truth" and
she broke down
and I broke down
'cause I was tired...
of lying

driving back
to her apartment
for the moment we're alone
yeah, she's alone
and I'm alone
and now I know it

she's a brick and I'm
drowning slowly
off the coast and I'm
headed nowhere
she's a brick and I'm
drowning slowly

(I hope we got that on tape, because it was a really...)
(Is someone saying something?)
(...it was a really...)
(I don't know)
(...I was thinking...)
(No, I think I hear some kind of noise — cut that shit!)
(I was thinking about, you know,
respecting your work with Steven and...)

1! 2! 3! 4!
so, you wanted
to take a break
slow it down some
and have some space
well, fuck you too!

give me my money back
give me my money back, you bitch
I want my money back
and don't forget
and don't forget
to give me back my black t-shirt

I wish I hadn't
bought you dinner
right before you
dumped me on your front porch

give me my money back
give me my money back, you bitch
I want my money back
and don't forget
and don't forget
to give me back my black t-shirt
hey, hey!

so, you wanted
to take a break
slow it down some
and have some space

give me my money back
give me my money back, you bitch
I want my money back
I want my money back

I
said what you wanted to hear
and what I
wanted to say
so, I
will take it back
are all of the dishes in tact?
let them be
broken
broken
it's easy to be
easy and free
when it doesn't mean anything
you remain
selfless, cold
and composed

you've done me no
favor to call and be nice
telling me I
can take anything
I like
you don't owe me to be so polite
you've done no wrong
and you've done no wrong
get out of my sight

it's easy to be
easy and free
when it doesn't mean anything
to remain
selfless, cold
and composed

come on baby,
now throw me a right to the chin
don't just stare like you never cared
I know you did
but you just smile
like a bank teller
blankly telling me:
"have a nice life"

come on baby,
now throw me a right to the chin
just one sign that could show me
that you give a shit
but you just smile, politely
and I grow weaker and I

said what you wanted to hear
and what I
wanted to say
so, I
will take it back

it's easy to be
easy and free
when it doesn't mean anything
and it doesn't mean anything
you can take anything
you can take anything

you're so
selfless, cold
so selfless, cold
so selfless, cold
and composed

she plays Wipeout on the drums
the squirrels and the birds come
gather 'round to sing the guitar
oh, I...
have you got nothing to say?
when all words fail, she speaks
her mix tape's a masterpiece
walks through the garden
so the roses can see
oh, I...
have you got nothing to say?

and you can see
the daisies in her footsteps
dandelions,
butterflies,
I wanna be Kate
Kate
Kate
Kate

everyday she wears the same thing
I think she smokes pot
she's everything I want
she's everything I'm not
oh, I...
have you got nothing to say?

she never gets wet
she smiles and it's a rainbow (oh, oh)
and she speaks,
and she breathes
I wanna be Kate
Kate
Kate
Kate

down by
the Rosemary and Cameron
she hands out the Bhagavad Gita
I see her around every couple days
I wanna see her so that
I can say, "hey...
Kate"

she never gets wet
she smiles and it's a rainbow (oh, oh)
you can see
I wanna wanna wanna wanna be...
Kate
Kate
Kate

na na,
Kate
Kate
Kate

na na,
na na,

leaf by leaf and
page by page
throw this book away
all the sadness
all the rage
throw this book away
rip out the binding and
tear the glue
and all of the grief
we never even knew
we had it
all along

now it's...
smoke

the things
we've written
in it
never really happened
all the things
we've written
in it
never really happened

and all of the people
come and gone
never really lived
and all the people come
have gone
no one
to forgive

smoke

we will
not write a new one
there will
not be a new one
another one
another one

here's an evening
dark with shame
(throw it on the fire)
here's the time
I took the blame
(throw it on the fire)

here is the time
that we didn't speak,
it seemed for years and years and
here's the secret
no one will ever know
the reasons for the tears

they are...
smoke

smoke
smoke

we will
not write a new one
there will
not be a new one
another one
another one

where do all
the secrets live?
they travel in the air
you can smell them
when they burn
they travel

those who say
the past is not dead, can
stop and smell the smoke
you keep saying
the past is not dead, well,
stop and smell the smoke
you keep on saying
the past is not even past, and
you keep saying

we are...
smoke

smoke

Fred Jones
was worn out
from caring for
his often
screaming and
crying wife
during the day, but
he couldn't sleep at night for fear that she,
in a stupor from the drugs that didn't
ease the pain,
would set the house ablaze

everyone gather 'round now,
sing us a song
just in case by tomorrow
it happens he's gone
for two weeks and seven days our
fair foreign friend
I had this feeling we might
never see Steven again
but we thought he was gone
and now he's come back again
last week it was funny
and now the joke's wearing thin
'cause everyone knows now,
that every night now will be Steven's
last night in town

he's charmed everyone here,
except Tamara Easter
who later revealed to him
her innermost secrets
won us over with stories
about Linda McCartney
lost points
with the ladies for saying
he couldn't love a woman with
cellulite

but we thought he was gone
and now he's come back again
last week it was funny
and now the joke's wearing thin
'cause everyone knows now,
that every night now will be Steven's
last night in town

we were talking 'bout something,
seems like it was funny
and then Steven got quiet
I think Steven was mad
maybe he wasn't mad,
but we felt very strange
in the moment
but the moment was passed and
forgotten about

we thought he was gone
but he's come back again
last week it was funny
and now the joke's wearing thin
'cause everyone knows now,
that every night now will be Steven's...

do you not hear me anymore?
I know it's not your thing to care
I know it's cool to be so bored
sucks me in when you're aloof
it sucks me in, it sucks, it works
I guess it's cool to be alone
will ya never rest?
fighting the battle of who could care less
everyday you wake up late
sometimes I wish I was
that way

and you think Rockford Files is cool
but there are some things
that you would change
if it were up to you
so think about your masterpiece
watch the Rockford Files
call to see if Paul can score some weed

do ya never rest?
fighting the battle of who could care less
unearned unhappiness
well that's alright I guess

and I've got
this great idea
why don't we pitch it to the Franklin fuckin' Mint?
fine pewter portraits of
General Apathy and
Major Boredom singing
whatever and ever amen

oh well
maybe not
I'll try again

well this should cheer you up for sure
see, I've got your old I.D.
and you're all dressed up like The Cure

ya never rest
fighting the battle of who could care less
unearned unhappiness

all is quiet
his tired eyes
see figures jotted down
and clothes all strewn around
the bedroom floor
now nothing's adding up
and nothing's making sense
she's sleeping like a baby
she doesn't know
he wasn't meant for this

I'm missing the war
(ba ba ba baaaa)
I'm missing the war all night
(ba ba ba baaaa)
missing the war
(ba ba ba baaaa)
I'm missing the war

(aaaaaahh aaaaahhhh aaaahhhh)
(aaaaaahh aaaaahhhh)

he drove home again
pissed and beaten
it's really no big deal
it happens all the time
it's no big deal

I'm missing the war
(ba ba ba baaaa)
I'm missing the war all night
(ba ba ba baaaa)
missing the war
(ba ba ba baaaa)
I'm missing the war
'til beads of sunlight hit me in the morning

so much
time, so
little to say

time may fly
(time may fly)
and dreams may die
(aaaaaahhhhh)
the shaking voice
that tells him, "go"
still thinks he might
he knows he won't

I'm missing the war
(ba ba ba baaaa)
I'm missing the war all night
(ba ba ba baaaa)
missing the war
(ba ba ba baaaa)
I'm missing the war, oh...

missing the war

what I've kept with me
and what I've thrown away
and where the hell I've ended up
on this glary, random day
were the things I really cared about
just left along the way
for being too pent up and proud?

woke up way too late
feeling hungover and old
and the sun was shining bright
and I walked barefoot down the road
started thinking about my old man
it seems that all men
want to get into a car and go
anywhere

here I stand:
sad and free
I can't cry
I can't see
what I've done
no, God,
what have I done?

don't you know I'm numb, man, no,
I can't feel a thing at all, 'cause it's
all smiles and business these days
and I'm indifferent to the loss
and I've faith that there's a soul somewhere
that's leading me around
I wonder if she knows which way is down

here I stand:
sad and free
I can't cry
and I can't see
what I've done
no, God,
what have I done?
ooh

and I poured my heart out
and I poured my heart out
it evaporated...
see?

blind man on a canyon's edge
of a panoramic scene
maybe I'm a kite that's flying high
and random, dangling a string
or slumped over in a vacant room
head on a stranger's knee
I'm sure back home
they think I've lost my mind

here I stand:
sad and free
I can't cry
and I can't see
what I've done
no, God,
what have I done?

(Look man, I got your hidden track right here, pal...)
(right here, listen!)