Quite often I get a thinking How as kids we got by Like christmas time in our house We couldn't even afford a fire But we made do in our house Back then when I was young Dad used to suck a peppermint And we'd all sit round his tongue We couldn't afford no tinsel On our christmas tree So we'd just wheel old grandad in And make the old cunt sneeze...atchoo Wheel him round the other side granny...atchoo Well things change so bloody fast I got children now of me own Now I heard 'em unwrap their presents Last night when I got home Santa claus you cunt Where's my f**king bike I've unwrapped all this other junk There's nothing what i like I've wrote you a letter And i've come to see you twice You geriatric wanker Where's my f**king bike If i wanted a pair of f**king shoes I would've f**king asked This cowboy suit and ping-pong set You can stick right up your arse You went and mucked my order up It's enough to make you spew It's not just me that's pissed off My sister's cheesed off too Santa claUs you cunt Where's my f**king pram You promised me you f**king cunt You know who I am 'Cos I'm the little girl You made sit right on your hand Never mind your ho ho ho Where's my f**king pram Next time i go to see him I'm gonna punch him in the guts Set his f**king reindeer loose Kick rudolf in the nuts Just you wait til next year 'Til we get to that store A mate of my little sister 'll come stomping through that door Hey mums and dads just check his breath And watch his bloodshot eyes Don't listen to him boys and girls 'Cos he tells f**king lies He's a pisstake and a pervert He's not even f**king bright 'Cos that f**king wanker Forgot my f**king bike Hey santa claus you cunt Where's my f**king bike I've unwrapped all this other junk There's nothing what I like I wrote you a f**king letter And I came to see you twice You geriatric wanker Forgot my f**king bike Yeah I'm gonna tell my dad on you F**king punch your head in....cunt I saw mummy sucking santa
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