The Vandals Album

Some people are bad and they don't give a damn
what they do or who they hurt.
They go through their lives and don't apologize
for the shit that they've disturbed.
But they don't bother me at all cuz I know quite well

When their lives are over and they've done what they've done
They're the people that are going to hell

Some beat their wives or pull out a knife
and stab a person or two or three
with no repercussions and no one here can touch them
and they get away scott free
But that's not the case you see and I'm glad to tell

When their lives are over and they've done what they've done
They're the people that are going to hell

They will spend eternity cursing all they've done
faced with karma consequences and nowhere left to run
They will be in agony until the end of time
Cuz they were such ass holes while alive

So try and be nice and to do what's right cuz there will come a day
When you're faced with your maker and no one here can save you
No matter what they say.

And be glad that you were good cuz some don't do so well and
when their lives are over and they've done what they've done

They're the people that are going to hell

Watching her at the mall she don't know me at all
Hope no employee over hears
Think I'm in love with you Red, Yellow, White, & Blue
Seems I've been watching her for years,
It brings a smile to my face as she hops with style and grace
Way beyond 9 to 5, she's keeping hope alive
Cafe 405
I'd always keep her warm in that silly uniform
Tell her every day that she's the best
Just wanna be with her, I'd never cheat on her
Wit someone at Panda Express
And nothing else makes me tick like when she's on that Pogo Stick
I wish I wasn't afraid, she's making lemonade
One day our love will arrive, so glad to be alive
I'm always flattered when my hot dog's gettin' battered
She's gettin' better at it every day
Shopping mall renegade, she's makin' lemonade

I once had a girlfriend
but then one day she dumped me
and everywhere I'd go people would ask me
where she was.
I don't wanna talk about her
someone always asks about her
so I tell them all
"My girlfriend's dead"

I say it's lukemia
or sometimes bulimia
Or a great big truck ran her over
and chopped off her head

I don't wanna talk about her
someone always asks about her
so I tell them all
"she's dead!"

I guess there's a part of me
that likes the sympathy
or the looks on their faces when i tell them
how she passed away

I don't wanna talk about her
someone always asks about her
so I tell them all
"She's dead!"

(My girlfriend's dead)
my girlfriend's dead you see
It's a total lie but it's easier on me
than having to admit that she likes someone else
(My girlfriend's dead)
my girlfriend's dead you know
Please change the subject
I'm going to go jump off a building
and join her in hell

I don't wanna talk about her
Someone always asks about her
So I tell them all
"She's dead!"

I once had a girlfriend
but then one day she dumped me
and everywhere I'd go people would ask me
where she was

I don't wanna talk about her
but someone always asks about her
so I tell them all
"My girlfriend's dead!"

I don't wanna talk about her
but someone always asks about her
so I tell them all
"My girlfriend's dead!"

I'm an expert on her cause I see her everyday
She's got one of those bedrooms you can see from the freeway
I know her brothers, her cousins and her Dad
Would not appreciate me getting on those
Not from the same neighborhood,
Her brothers scare me but their sister looks so good
Sandra, I know, huh? You gotta' go home to
Make dinner and clean up and that sucks. I know, huh?
Sandra, I know, huh? You gotta' go home to
Fill up the pinnate for you cousin's quincenera
And when we dance, the snare drum comes out of nowhere
But we're together, and they're playing our song
'Cause when she calls, I know I just gotta' go there
And when I get her in the mood, the tuba ruins the song
I go to pick her up but I just get stared down
They say hey huero what you doin' in this town
I got a mission so I don't care what they say
They think they're something just because it's cowboy day
In their neighborhood
Her brothers scare me but their sister looks so good
Sandra, I know huh? You gotta' go home to
Put the cow stickers on Tio's van conversion

Well I know you've been working most nights
And I think you deserve something nice
And the Twins they've been driving you nuts
But tonight your in luck. Guess What, Here's what...

Hey babe we're going out tonight
we're finally gonna do it right.
No more pinching pennies with a broke ass loser.
I've had a change of luck
I found the twenty bucks i thought i lost under the sofa.
I'm feeling like a hundredaire
And baby i just don't care where we go or what we spend
So grab your friends- cuz money's not an issue tonight

Hey babe we're going out tonight
Just bring your appetite for luxury and fun
Cuz money's not an issue
Go on baby now make a wish
I'm feeling Irish rich
I found me a pot o' gold and living large, it fits you
Feel free to super size cuz tonight dreams are realized

I know that it's been rough
and you don't get the stuff
that such a pretty lady is so deserving of
but now that's not the case
I'll shower your sweet face
with Champagne dreams and mustache kisses
I'm well aware that i've been kind of cheap and tight
but all that's changed and we're gonna do it right
so tell your friends that money's not an issue tonight

Make it like that famous country singer
Or that guy I saw last night on Jerry Springer
Clean me up but let me keep my edge,
In the day i like to keep it dignified
But at night you know I got another side
And I don't give a damn,
Cause I am what I am
Even if it's really really bad.

I've got an Ape Drape,
Yes I do
They're givin' them to anyone,
And that means you
You can drive to Riverside and get one too
Then you'll have an Ape Drape like I do.

Go ahead and buzz 'round the ears
I've been growing that one braid back there for years
I've had it since the first time I saw Queensryche
The front may conform to society
But the back says I have personality
Even if it's really really,
Even if it's really really bad.

I've got an Ape Drape,
Yes I do
They're givin' them to anyone,
And that means you
You can drive to Riverside and get one too
Then you'll have an Ape Drape like I do.

Make it short in the front and long in the back!
If the top's not short enough that it stands up
I could be thrown out of the Bad Boy Club
But don't you lay a finger on my pony tail
Now fix my kid up so he looks like me,
And then matching crazy pants are all we need
Some may call it child abuse
I just call it bonding with your Dad.

Norce Neck Warmer......Norco
Hockey Hair.......Canada
Acky Breaky Hair.....Nashville
Mullet.......Hoboken
Forbidden Hair......Europe
Shom......Florida

Baby I'm more than a little concerned you see
about the New World Order conspiracies
And the covert spreading of deadly disease
They've got earthquake machines and UFO's
and black helicopters wherever we go
But I forget them all when you are with me
They can telepathically read my mind
I'm not scared of what they'll find
Let them do what they're gonna do

Cuz if the government can read my mind
they know I'm thinking of you.

They've got secretly funded internment camps
and biological warfare labs
But when you look at me they all don't seem so bad
They've got Martian traded technology,
and mind control psychology
I'll let them do what they wanna do

Cuz if the government can read my mind
they know I'm thinking of you.

I could stockpile food and join a militia
but I'd rather stay at home and kiss ya
Let them do what they're gonna do

Cuz if the government can read my mind
they know I'm thinking of you.

If the government can read my mind baby
you know it doesn't matter what they find

Cuz if the government can read my mind
they know I'm thinking of you.

Hot step moms and surrogate dads
It breaks my heart to see him so sad
Lying alone in his room with a frown on
Reruns show him what he's missing out on
If life could be, like he sees it on T.V.
He wouldn't have to hurt so bad
Hurt so bad cause

It's too much drama
It's too much drama, dad and mama
Traded back and fourth until he turns 18
It's too much drama
The kid don't need a new step grandma
So he joins a family on the screen

Can't you see?
Too many parents leave
Too many sets of parents leave
A kid who can't believe
How they can think that he can take it
It's all he can do to fake it

Out for a weekend with real dad
But the only thing real is how real bad
He just wants his life to be black and white
Those people never fight
If he could xerox
A home from the talking picture box
He wouldn't have to hurt so bad
Hurt so bad cause

Chorus

So he turns to T.V. for help and for guidance
A lot of his virtues he picked up from Linus
Fonzie taught him what it means to be cool
From Doogie he learned that he must go to school
Three's Company taught him that just acting gay
Could lower the actual rent he would pay
Cops showed beating your wife and your neighbour
Could immortalize you and your double wide trailer

Chorus

(Originally recorded by Pennywise,
dedicated to the memory of Jason Matthew Thirsk)

Voices! You're letting voices tell you what to do
when you yourself don't know.
Voices! You got one too, so let it out
and let us know when you're feeling all alone.
Well I know
There are times when
you're feeling close to the ground
And there's times when
you may feel there's no place to call home
And there's times when
your best friend just seems so far away
And there's times when
the only end in sight is the end

You've got to come out fighting!
Come out fighting!
Come out fighting!
Don't let it get you down.

Problems! I've got em too but keeping them inside is not the thing to do.
Problems! You've got to face hang-ups head-on,
Before you know they're hangin' you.

You've got to come out fighting!
Come out fighting!
Come out fighting!

All alone yes all alone.
Loneliness, it is something we all know.
Woooh all alone, yes all alone.
Been there before so please believe me
'cause I know.
Woooooooooh.
Sorry to say to your dismay your life
is not the only one that you affect.
Don't you realize that a part of all of us will die inside when
you yourself are dead.

You've got to come out fighting!
Come out fighting!
Come out fighting!
Come out fighting!

Warning you, warning you, warning me.

Here in America, respect your fellow man
Some foreign cultures don't understand
We got this little rule and it's called elbow room
Pertaining to the spacial occupancy you consume
It I'm in front of line, then you should stay behind
Until I get my iceless soda.
It's such a simple thing it's called first come first serve
Wooden clogs that smash my feet I really don't deserve
In every region it seems there's a legion
of impatient close talking slime, that cut in line.
Barge me with your walkin' spray me with your talkin'
I am the ambassador of kick your assador
What's your affinity for my vicinity.
There's plenty room here in your country
It's just etiquette to use deodorant.
Maybe smelling bad's the way you choose to represent
Boozy and stinkin' I smell what your thinkin'
I just need a little more space Get out my face
Barge me with your walkin', spray me with your talkin'
Back the fuck up ass hole shut your bread & cheese hole
Tryin' to make myself clear, give me just a foot here
You offend my sinus, I'll kick your royal highness
I'll see your Euro-barge by friend, and raise you one Ugly American
Barge me with your walkin' spray me with your talkin'
Push you out of the way sock you in the pate'
Step right off you inbred, hygiene like a deadhead
I am the ambassador, of fuckin' kick your assador!

I'm well aware that you are chemically imbalanced
but I'm the kind of guy that likes a challenge
from a crazy kind of girl who lives in her own world
Who is legally insane

I'm not afraid and I'll rise to the occasion
and I'll remind you when it's time for medication
for a mixed up little girl alone in this big world
Who is legally insane

You need someone who's there whether you're lucid or delusional
You need someone to hold your hand if you're confused at all

I understand all the problems you've got
I'll stay up nights on a suicide watch for you
Fucked up girl

I'll be with you until we find a good solution
and keep you out of any mental institutions
'Cause you're legally insane
It takes some patience and a lot of sacrifice
helping a lunatic get through her life
I'll protect you from yourself 'cause you've got nobody else
And you're legally insane

You need someone who's there when you're losing all your faculties
You need someone who understands all your abnormalities
I understand all the problems you got
I'll stay up nights on a suicide watch for you
Fucked up girl

You need someone who's there whether you're lucid of delusional
You need someone to hold your hand if you're confused at all

I understand all the problems you've got
I'll stay up nights on a suicide watch for you
Fucked up girl

I got an idea for a movie,
and it goes like this
(Check it out) It's about a boy who gets his finger caught
In a bottle of Mr. Pibb

And they go on adventures,
I think it could be big
Is it too soon to whisper Oscar?
Put a happy ending there and it'll write itself, I swear
All we need, all we need are some meetings and a lead

I got an idea for a movie,
It's about this guy
Who wished and wished 'til it came true,
And now this kid can fly

I got an idea for a movie,
and here's my pitch
I get a job and quit my band,
And you stop being a bitch

And we will have adventures,
Like the boy and his bottle did
Is it too soon to whisper Oscar?

Put a happy ending there and it'll write itself, I swear
All we need, all we need are some meetings and a lead
With a happy ending there this thing will write itself, I swear
All we need, all we need is some trick photography

I forgot one thing about the guy
Who gained the ability to fly
It was actually only for a foot or two
And only an inch or so high.

And we will have adventures,
Like the boy and his bottle did
Is it too soon to whisper Oscar?

Put a happy ending there and it'll write itself, I swear
All we need, all we need are some meetings and a lead
With a happy ending there this thing will write itself, I swear
All we need, all we need is some trick photography.

Hey buddy how you doin' today?
Thanks a lot buddy I'm doin' OK.
How bout you, you doin' all right?
Well I got into a fight my girl left last night.
That's rough guy what was it about?
I lost my job and she just ran out.
Your honey got runny when the money got funny?
My honey got runny when the money got funny, buddy.
Are you ready for a brand new day?
OK!
I'm gonna do things my own way OK!
Here's what you do and rejoice in new and join me when I say, OK!
So guy what do you do now?


Everywhere I go people telling me how,
To live my life like they really know me.
Sometimes past your nose it's hard to see
So guy what you trying to say?
I say its time to do things your own way
So tell me what you want, what I really, really want!
When you're living in shit and your life is shit and shit is all you smell.
You submit and get to used to and live in your shit filled hell.
People will mislead you and believe you when I say.
Trust yourself!
Believe yourself!
And join me when I say Ok!

there's a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall, and the bells in the steeple too. and up in the nursery an absurd little bird is popping out to say cuckoo. regretfully they tell us, but firmly they compel us to say goodnight to you. so long,farewell, auf wiedersehen, good night i hate to go and leave this pretty sight. so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, adu. adu adu to you and you and you. so long, farewell, au revoir, auf wiedersehen i'd like to stay and taste my first champagne. so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good bye i leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye, goodbye. i'm glad to go i can not tell a lie. i flit, i float, i fleety flee i fly. the sun has gone to bed and so must i so long farewell afedersen good bye, good bye good bye good bye