The Presidents Of The United States Of America Album

Written by: Chris Ballew and the Presidents of the United States of America

1, 2, 3!

Woo!

You gotta love everybody, make 'em feel good about themselves
You gotta love everybody, make 'em feel good about themselves
(You Got To!) love everybody tonite!
You gotta love everybody tonite!
You gotta love everybody, make 'em feel good about themselves

Alllllllright!

Sally could barely rally, she livin' in cardboard alley,
Convinced she was doin' fine
Burt was a millionaire, sellin' that spray-on hair
Sippin' Californee wine

She was hardly handling and panhandling
Off-times she was squeezing out a dime at a time
From his limousine he could see beauty underneath the dirt
And this is what it said on the sign!

It said You gotta love everybody, make 'em feel good about themselves
You gotta love everybody, make 'em feel good about themselves
(You Got To!) love everybody tonite!
You gotta love everybody tonite!
You gotta love everybody, make 'em feel good about themselves

Bree was worth billions, she was killingly beautiful
A diamond with the venomous charm
Harvey was starving, carving tattoos on the punks,
Called himself "DaVinci of arms"

She was high on twinkies when she pulled in thinking
She could just get in and out, convenience is bliss
By the flash on the wall, she seemed twenty feet tall
And this is what he put on her fist!

It said You gotta love everybody, make 'em feel good about themselves
You gotta love everybody, make 'em feel good about themselves (yeah!)

You gotta love everybody
love everybody
love everybody
love everybody
love everybody
love everybody
love everybody
love everybody
love everybody
love everybody
love everybody
love everybody toniiiiiiiiiiiiite...tonite!

Written by: Chris Ballew and the Presidents of the United States of America

It's six A M and the sun is getting high
He picks up the mail from the slot
He feels the rush of excitement as he holds it in his hand
Another love note no one got

Some postman is grooving
To all our love letters
Some postman is gonna cry
Some postman is grooving
To all our love letters
Some Postman is gonna cry

Gonna Cry!
Gonna Cry!

Yeah...whoo!

It's noon now and all the mailboxes have been emptied
And all the letters are inside
He counts them, he checks them, he looks for clues and finds
The ones with hearts on the outside

Some postman is grooving
To all our love letters
Some postman is gonna cry
Some postman is grooving
To all our love letters
Some postman is gonna cry

Gonna cry!
Gonna cry!
Gonna cry...yeah yeaaaaaah...ha! Ha ha ha!

(Bow...bow...bow...bow...ba ba ba, ba ba ba nine-teen nine-ty three-eee!)

Hoo hoo hoo hoo! Hoo hoo hoo hoo!

Holding onto a package, meant for a distant lover
Thought it would be there overnight
She waits and, she cries and she thinks he does not love her
The postman holds on oh so tight

Some postman is grooving
To all our love letters
Some postman is gonna cry
Some postman is grooving
To all our love letters
Some postman is gonna cry

Gonna cry, yeah!

You (you) crushed (crushed) paper hearts
Stole (sold) and sold (stole) and ripped apart
You promised with stamps but you never delivered to me

Written by: Chris Ballew and the Preisents of the United States of America

You've been kickin' on me
I've been kickin' on you
You've been kickin' my tree just to suck on the fruit
Mop up my troubles and you throw the old sad days away

I've been pickin' your fleas
You've been pickin' my fleas
I've been pickin' this guitar underneath your lovin' tree
Sittin' on this star of ours showin' me a cloud-free galaxy...(because!)

You're a clean machine
You sparkle in the sun
You're a clean machine
A diamond in the mud...Yeah!

You're a clean machine

I been losin' my brain,
You've been loosenin' my brain
Slicin' off the sour so the good parts remain
Handin' me a band-aid perfect for a soul-sized bullet hole

Down. I've felt that before
Too flat to bounce back
I've been shovin' you around and defending your attack
Attack it like a leaky sack of sugar with a sweetness I can taste...(that's
right cause!)

You're a clean machine
You sparkle in the sun
You're a clean machine
A diamond in the mud

You're a clean machine

You're a clean machine, you're a clean machine, you're a clean machine, yea-ah!
You're a clean machine, you're a clean machine, you're a clean machine, yea-ah!
You're a clean machine, you're a clean machine, you're a clean machine, yea-ah!

Yea-ah!
Yea-ah!

Written by: Chris Ballew and the Presidents of the United States of America

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

There's asphalt in between us
That ain't gonna slow me down
My steel train can cut through the rain
Ain't nuthin' gonna stop me now

(I'm on a) Highway forever
I'll reach my destination never
(I got a) highway blue
May never ever ever ever get back to you

I got a many millions miles to travel
I got a thousand thirty towns to go through
Highway to dirt road to gravel
Spend a hundred hungry hours to get back to you

(I'm on a) Highway forever
I'll reach my destination never
(I got a) highway blue
May never ever ever ever get back to you

Ooh (giddy up)...Let's Go Now!

Woo!

Oh hoh, wow, wow, wow, wow let's go now

(hey!)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ooh!

Mmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm hmm hmm hmm (Let's go!)

(Yeah...let's go) Woo!

(Whadda ya got!?) I got a nickel in my pocket
I got a girl on my mind
I'm gonna be there tomorrow
Who knows what I'll find

I've just got twenty miles to go now
Home town stretch comin' up
But the car breaks down, outside of town
That's it, hey man, I give up

(I'm on a) Highway forever
I'll reach my destination never
(I got a) highway blue
May never ever ever ever get back
May never ever ever ever get back
May never ever ever ever get on back to you

Written by: Chris Ballew and the Presidents of the United States of America

Zero Friction (Zero Friction)
Zero Friction (Zero Friction)
Zero Friction (ooooo-ooooh)
In My life

Huge space station
Man it with a chimp until it dies
Zero Friction
Twirling on and on in the invisible sky
You've been happy since the dawn of time

Silent punk rocker
Take a break and shut down that guitar
Sit down and wonder
Where did the drum machine come from...i dunno!
You've been unsatisfied for some time

(I got) Zero Friction in my life
Zero Friction in my life
Zero Friction in my life
Give me Zero Friction

Zero Friction (Zero Friction)
Zero Friction (Zero Friction)
Zero Friction (ooooo-ooooh)
In My life

Smiling jet-plane
You hover happy without fear
You fire the pilot
(and) File your flight plan and dry your tears
You've been gorgeous for so many years

Massive gorilla
Put down that chew toy and take a break
And think about the cages
At the zoo where you spend your whole life eating steak
You've been unstoppable since prehistoric times...yeah yeah!

(I got) Zero Friction in my life
Zero Friction in my life
Zero Friction in my life
Give me Zero Friction (Zero Friction)

Zero Friction in my life
Zero Friction in my life
Zero Friction in my life
Give me Zero Friction (Zero Friction)

Zero Friction (Zero Friction)
Zero Friction (Zero Friction)
Zero Friction (Zero Friction)

[No lyrics]

Written by: Chris Ballew and the Presidents of the United States of America

Here come Monday mornin'
Life is open wide
I hide my fat bites

Here come Tuesday mornin'
Sun is cold and low
I don't care, I'm in the flow

(I gotta) Shortwave! Soul creep!
Shortwave! Soul creep!
Soul swept underneath me

Here come Wednesday mornin'
Check refused to bounce
Life is filled up ounce by ounce

Look out, Thursday mornin'
The vultures come and go
Faster still but desperate to go

Shortwave! Soul Creep!
Shortwave! Soul creep!
Soul swept underneath me

(1, 2, 3, 4!)

Here come Friday mornin'
Bite the Wonder Bread
Wonder how I got that bruise on my head

Saturday mornin'
The guitar strings are sharp
Finger fumble faintly in the dark!

Shortwave! Soul Creep!
Shortwave! Soul creep!
Soul swept underneath me
Soul swept underneath me
Soul swept underneath me

Underneath! Underneath me!

Shortwave! Soul creep!
Shortwave! Soul creep!
Shortwave! Soul creep!

Written by: Chris Ballew and the Presidents of the United States of America

Ow!

(Spoken through gritted teeth: "Wanna push it, wanna rip it, wanna kill it!")

Girls, girls, girls, girls are so polite
They don't crush everything that they see
You can take 'em to a funky funky forest with big glass spiderwebs
Hangin' from the ceilin'
They wouldn't feel the uncontrollable urge
To tip and push and kick and rip and tear and smash and squish and...

Poke and destroy
Poke and destroy
Poke and destroy
I'm a boy, I wanna poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy
Poke and destroy
Poke and destroy
I'm a boy, I wanna poke and destroy!

(Spoken: "Poke and Destroy")

I want to poke!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

(and destroy!)

Boys, boys, boys, boys are set to kill
They wanna crush everything that they see
You could take 'em to a creepy museum with dinosaur bones
Hangin' from the ceilin'
They'd feel the uncontrollable urge
To tip and push and kick and rip and tear and smash and squish and'

Poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
I'm a boy, I wanna poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
I'm a boy, I wanna poke and destroy!

(poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke and destroy!)
I want to poke!

(kick it down, rip it down, burn it down and kick it! Yeah!)
And destroy

(and we'll do it 500 more times!)

Ahhhh...Ahhhh...Ahhhh...Ahhhh!

Out in the wild with a girl I know
She see a little thing in the sand
She pretend to leave it alone, leave the creature in it's home
But I don't understand

If I find a delicate thing
I wonder how it would look split at the seams
Girls talk, say "it's beautiful"
I gotta poke it to know it, I gotta LIGHT IT ON FIRE AND...

Poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
I'm a boy, I wanna poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy!
I'm a boy, I wanna poke and destroy!
Poke and destroy! (and destroy)
Poke and destroy! (and destroy)
Poke and destroy! (and destroy)
Poke and destroy! (and destroy)
Poke and destroy! (and destroy)
Poke and destroy! (and destroy)
Poke and destroy! (and destroy)

Written by: Chris Ballew and the Presidents of the United States of America

In the hazy light I see
Lonely crow, dark green dream
I got no paddle and I got no shoes
I'm solo in a rawhide canoe

Hundreds of them little bug eyes
Them drooly runny glassy eyes
Smilin' through the foggy soup
I crack a grin and laugh in tune

And I would love to float...on...munky river
I would love to float...on...

(yeah, I would)

Hoo!

Sad lip hang out on a limb
Purple paw pluckin a guitar
All string broke except for two
Careful chimp, CARESS THE BASS

Waters' only shallow deep
Munkies dip into the river
Black and blue moon light up the leaves
Cypress branches chuckle and shiver

And I would love to float...on...munky river
I would love to float...on...munky river
I would love to float...on...munky river
I would love to float...on...

Woo!

Yeah! (Float on, c'mon, c'mon!)

(Yeah boy!)

And on the last soft oxbow
Munkies wave goodbye (good bye)
I patch my boat with chewin' gum
This purple haze is easy on my...

I would love to float...on...munky river
I would love to float...on...munky river
I would love to float...on...munky river
I would love to float...on...munky river

I'd love to float on munky river!
I'd love to float on munky river!
I'd love to float on munky river!
I'd love to float on munky river!

On!
On!
On!

Written by: Chris Ballew and the Presidents of the United States of America

Drooling! Drooling!
Drooling! Drooling!
Drooling! Drooling!

I wanna run my nose through your hair
But if I did I think I'd lose it there
I wanna swallow your little mouth
But if I did I'd lose my water wings and drown (I'd lose my wings and drown!)
I kiss your head when you feel a tear
But it's easier to drool at you froooooooooom here

Droolin' at you
Makes me feel like I come undone
Droolin' at you
Makes me feel like a loaded gun
Droolin' at you
Makes me feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel GOOD!

Drooling! Drooling!

I wanna pluck each one of your toes
But if I did I'd have to suck out the bones (I'm suckin' out the bones!)
I wanna lick your lambchops dry
So please excuse me while I hump the sky

Droolin' at you
Makes me feel like I come undone
Droolin' at you
Makes me feel like a loaded gun
Droolin' at you
Makes me feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel GOOD!

So good!
So good!
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh Yeah!

Makes!
Me!
Feel!

Written by: Chris Ballew and Tad Hutchison

Vestina, Vestina
Your advertising agency folded today
Vestina, Vestina
The future is brighter anyway, 'cause

If you're gonna sell it, sell it to me
If you're gonna sell it, it's for free
If you're gonna sell, sell it directly to me!

Directly to me!
Directly to me!
Directly to me!

A talkin', talkin', yeah

Vestina, Vestina
Your advertising agency folded today
Vestina, Vestina
The future is brighter anyway, 'cause

If you're gonna sell it, sell it to me
If you're gonna sell it, it's for free
If you're gonna sell, sell it directly to me!

Directly to me!
Directly to me!
Directly to me!

A talkin', talkin', yeah

Vestina I love you
Vestina I do
Vestina I love you
Vestina I do

Vestina I love you
Vestina I do
Vestina I love you
Vestina I do...yes I do....yes I do

I do love you!
Vestina I do
Vestina I love you
Vestina I do
and I do,
and I do,
and I do,
and I do,
and I do,
and I do,
and I do,
and I do,
and I do,
and I do,
and I do,
and I do,
and I do,
and I do,
and I do,
and I do,
and I do,
and I do,

Written by: Chris Ballew and the Presidents of the Unites States of America

5,500 miles
Across the Texas plain
Just to look at the mountains
Just to not go insane (insane, insane)

5,500 miles
Across the Texas plain
Just to look at the ocean
Just to not go insane

I'm goin' home
I'm starting home
On a freezing eastern highway
A muddy snow bank
A broken radio

A dome of stars on a tin plate
Got Booker T on cassette tape

Tore out the amplifier to fit it in
I saw the free way buckle and bend
Carburetor struck a strong head wind
And I barreled...through California!

And even on a cloudy day
And the end the sun peaks through
Between the mountains and the clouds!

Woo!

5,500 miles
Across the Texas plain
Just to look at the mountains
Just to not go insane

5,500 miles
Across the Texas plain
Just to look at the ocean
Just to not go insane

And now I'm home
I made it home
On a little four-cylinder engine
A blue tin can
A red sleepin' bag

I wasn't alone the whole way
I had some com-pan-ay

The sterring wheel made a print on my arm
I stopped and I checked out the farm
I saw the sun beat down hard
And I barreled...through California!

And even on a cloudy day
And the end the sun peaks through
Between the mountains and the clouds!

Haw!

I can't drive five thousand lonely miles!
I can't drive five thousand lonely miles!
I can't drive five thousand lonely miles!
I can't drive five thousand lonely miles!

Written by: Chris Ballew and the Presidents of the United States of America

I invited salmonella poison
They brought their blushin' daughter, stuffed into a tux
I invited all the guitar heroes
We threw away the guest list, and lost a thousand bucks

I called all the local geniuses
They wrote the guide for the perplexed and the drunk
Wild eyed they came from all directions
Stompin' on the dance floor and droppin' all their junk

All I've got to show are shreds of boa
All I've got to keep is paper-thin
All I've got to show are shreds of boa
Smashed into the rug and vacuumed out again!

We're out again!
We're out again!
We're out again!

Hoo!

Check out the stone on Tammy Tuesday
She's handin' out a fortune in party favor pearls
Here come all those thunderin' beasties
Disabling security, and touchin' all the girls

Check out all the star-struck ramblers
Littering the dance floor with scorpions and Sting
Here come all the ruby-studded hap'ners
Everybody came and destroyed everything

All I've got to show are shreds of boa
All I've got to keep is paper-thin
All I've got to show are shreds of boa
Smashed into the rug and vacuumed out again

You left your shreds of boa
We sucked it off your chin
You left your shreds of boa
Smashed into the rug and vacuumed out again!

We're out again!
We're out again!
We're out again!

Written by: Chris Ballew and the Presidents of the United States of America

And she's got safety pins and string holding it together
She can only wear her jacket in warm weather
Although the sleeves need to be shortened
The fact that the arms are falling off isn't important

(Because) Jennifer's jacket, Jennifer's jacket, Jennifer's jacket,
Is falling apart
Jennifer's jacket, Jennifer's jacket, Jennifer's jacket,
Is falling apart

The lining in her coat is rotten
And it seems that the zipper has been completely forgotten
She had a dollar ten for a slice in the pocket of the right
But the pocket had a hole and she looked for the change all night

Jennifer's jacket, Jennifer's jacket, Jennifer's jacket,
Is falling apart
Jennifer's jacket, Jennifer's jacket, Jennifer's jacket,
Is falling apart

This is a list of malformations
But it would cost one hundred dollars for alterations
We all know that the pressed leather is in
But you can't keep warm in the winter in December in the city when it's 32
degrees below zero
with a safety pin!

Jennifer's jacket, Jennifer's jacket, Jennifer's jacket,
Is falling apart
Jennifer's jacket, Jennifer's jacket, Jennifer's jacket,
Is falling apart
Jennifer's jacket, Jennifer's jacket, Jennifer's jacket,
Is falling apart
Jennifer's jacket, Jennifer's jacket, Jennifer's jacket,
Falling apart at the seams!
Falling apart at the seams!
Falling apart at the seams!
Falling apart at the seams! (Jennifer's jacket is)
Falling apart at the seams! (Jennifer's jacket is)
Falling apart at the seams! (Jennifer's jacket is)
Falling apart at the seams! (Jennifer's jacket is)