The Mountain Goats Album

I checked into a bargain priced room on la cienaga,
gazed out through the curtains of the parking lot.
walked down to the corner store just before nightfall in my bare feet.
black tarry asphalt, soft and hot.
and when I came back I spread out my supplies.
on the counter by the sink,
I looked myself right in the eyes

st. joseph's baby aspirin,
bartles and james,
and you or your memory.

I ducked behind the drapes when I saw the moon begin to rise,
gathered in my loose ends switched off the light.
and down there in the dark I can see the real truth about me.
as clear as day, lord if I make it through tonight
then I will mend my ways and walk the straight path to the end of my days.

st. joseph's baby aspirin,
bartles and james,
and you or your memory

there's bound to be a ghost at the back of your closet
no matter where you live.
there'll always be a few things, maybe several things
that you're going to find really difficult to forgive.

there's going to come a day when you feel better.
you'll rise up free and easy on that day.
and float from branch to branch,
lighter than the air.
just when that day is coming, who can say? who can say?

our mother has been absent ever since we founded rome.
but there's going to be a party when the wolf comes home.

were going to commandeer the local airwaves
to tell the neighbours whats been going on.
and they will shake their heads and wag their bony fingers
in all the wrong directions,
and by daybreak we'll be gone.

I'm going to get myself in fighting trim,
scope out every angle of unfair advantage.
I'm going to bribe the officials.
I'm going to kill all the judges.
it's going to take you people years to recover from all of the damage.

our mother has been absent ever since we founded rome.
but there's going to be a party when the wolf comes home.

go!

the reception's gotten fuzzy.
the delicate balance has shifted.
put on your gloves and your black pumps.
let's pretend the fog has lifted.

now you see me.
now you don't.
now you say you love me.
pretty soon you won't.

if we get our full threescore and ten,
we won't pass this way again.
so kiss me with your mouth open.
turn the tires toward the street
and stay sweet.

all the chickens come on home to roost.
plump bodies blotting out the sky.
you know it breaks my heart in half, in half
when I see them trying to fly.

'cause you just can't do
things your body wasn't meant to.
hike up your fishnets.
I know you.

if we live to see the other side of this,
I will remember your kiss.
so do it with your mouth open.
and take your foot off of the brake
for christ's sake

when we hid out behind the risers at he high school,
working bitter calculations with a slide rule.
the grim particulars of poisoning the swimming pool,
well you looked me in the eye,
ready to die.

we were becoming what we are,
collapsing stars.

when we chewed up baby aspirin like bubble gum,
til our hearts were beating as deep and rich as kettle drums
we knew if we waited long enough the change would come.
and then the day did come and at last
hold tight.
hold fast.

catch lightning in a jar,
collapsing stars.

I told you to load up on provisions,
because we wouldn't be back for a while.
pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
turn toward the camera and smile, smile, smile.

when we ditched the plan to poison all our enemies,
stuffed our weapons in a clearing, and covered them with leaves,
we are going to come rejoicing bringing in the sheaves
one day, and we are on our way.

you can look,
but you won't find
another love like ours,
collapsing stars

We stank of hair dye and ammonia
We sealed ourselves away from view
You were looking at the void and seldom blinking
The best that I could do was to train my eyes on you

We scaled the hidden hills beneath the surface
Scraped our fingers bloody on the stones
And built a little house that we could live in
Out of Dinu Lipatti's bones

We kept our friends at bay all summer long
Treated the days as if they'd kill us if they could
Wringing out the hours like blood-drenched bedsheets
To keep wintertime at bay, but December showed up anyway

There was no money; it was money that you wanted
I went downtown, sold off most of what I owned
And we raised a tower to broadcast all our dark dreams
From Dinu Lipatti's bones

king saul fell on his sword when it all went wrong,
and joseph's brothers sold him down the river for a song,
and sonny liston rubbed some tiger balm into his glove.
some things you do for money and some you do for love love love.

raskolnikov felt sick but he couldn't say why
when he saw his face reflected in his victim's twinkling eye.
some things you'll do for money and some you'll do for fun,
but the things you do for love are going to come back to you one by one.

love love is going to lead you by the hand
into a white and soundless place.
now we see things as in a mirror dimly.
then we shall see each other face to face.

and way out in seattle young kurt cobain
snuck out to the greenhouse, put a bullet in his brain.
snakes in the grass beneath our feet, rain in the clouds above,
some moments last forever, but some flare up with love love love

we all woke up that morning,
claw marks on our little faces.
the dull thud from the treetops
the echo in the hollow places
rose up high and lonely
wringing my hands, grinding my teeth
all the triumph overhead
all the disaster underneath

spat out my morning prayers
desperate pleas and viscious lies.
felt the sunlight thugh the grating,
coverered up my eyes.
woke up feeling awful
shook my head to drive the ghosts way
this is just a flesh wound
and it will clear up any day.
but the present i got planned for you pricks,
is gonna be a little harder to fix.
thank god
for small favors
in high doses.

heard the voices through the air vents
listen to them squeal
the great big world is out there
the hidden one beneath my heel
called up my sister in reseda,
left a message at the tone.
all the points where contact fails us
all of the dead spots in the zone

and the acid in my throat
every time i try to talk
the songs that keep me up at night
standing on that solid rock
rose up high and dry and lonely
stumbled coming out the gate
this is just a paper cut
and it will scab over just you wait.
but the cuts that i'll shortly being dealing out,
are gonna give you something to cry about.

thank god
for small favors
in high doses

the king of the jungle
was asleep in his car.
when your chances fall in your lap like that,
you gotta recognize them for what they really are.

nobody in this house wants to own up to the truth.
I crawl in shotgun and reach into his mouth
and grab hold of one long, sharp tooth
and hold on.
for dear life, I hold on.

well of course he wakes up.
his paw hits the horn.
I am going to regret
the day that I was born.

and then mom
rushes out to the driveway
my sister too
everyone screaming,
I am dreaming of you.
I hold on.
for dear life, I hold on.

and my arms get sore.
and my palms start to sweat.
and the tears roll down my face,
till my cheeks are hot and red and soaking wet.

in come the cops
they blow torch the doors.
I start wailing.
the lion roars.
there's no good way to end this.
anyone can see
there's this great big you,
and little old me.
and we hold on.
for dear life, we hold on.
we hold on

I broke free on a saturday morning.
I put the pedal to the floor.
headed north on mills avenue,
and listened to the engine roar.

my broken house behind me and good things ahead,
a girl named cathy wants a little of my time.
six cylinders underneath the hood crashing and kicking,
ahhh listen to the engine whine.

I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.

I played video games in a drunken haze
I was seventeen years young.
hurt my knuckles punching the machines
the taste of scotch rich on my tongue.

and then cathy showed up and we hung out.
trading swigs from the bottle all bitter and clean
locking eyes, holding hands,
twin high maintenance machines.

I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.

I drove home in the california dusk.
I could feel the alcohol inside of me.
home.
picture the look on my stepfather's face,
ready for the bad things to come.

I downshifted as I pulled into the driveway.
the motor screaming out stuck in second gear.
the scene ends badly as you might imagine,
in a cavalcade of anger and fear.

there will be feasting and dancing in jerusalem next year.

I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me

on the day that dennis brown's lung collapsed, spring rain was misting down on kingston.
and down at the harbor, local cops were intercepting an inbound shipment.
and for a while there it was chaos
as they handcuffed and then roughed up some sailors.

on the day my lung collapses
it's not going to be much different.

on the day that dennis brown's habits caught up with him, school children sang in choirs.
and out behind the Chinese restaurants
guys were jumping into dumpsters.
and the stench was overbearing,
but they were past the point of caring.

on the day my habits catch up with me
I'll be down among the jumpers.

and when the birds come home in spring,
we will fill them full of buckshot.
and jets of contaminated blood
will cloud the rivers and the lakes.
it took all the coke in town to bring down dennis brown.

on the day my lung collapses
we'll see just how much it takes

hey, mr. hughes and mr. vanderslice, uh this is a new song
i'm really excited aboo, about, and uh and so since i wrote
it on my old cort guitar instead of the new one i, i want to
play on that just for purposes of 'cause i've been writing
it and so forth so that's why it sounds a little beat up and
flat and everything, 'cause these strings are old and everything,
so sorry about that, uh, it's i-, it's in A. i think i'm tuned to an A.
it should be called hawaiian feeling, but it probably can't be
called that. um, ok, right. alright.

I will wake up at six a.m. again.
and I will find my way to the front door
like a soldier crawling through the smoking carnage.
smoldering bodies at my feet,
I'd love to stick around, but I've got someone to meet.
and I will put my best foot forward.
and I'll thank god I made it out of there
on the day when my new friends come.

I will present myself in my nice white tuxedo jacket.
and I will look out at the day through my dark sunglasses,
and take in the scene.
the house behind me and the people in it
will all go up like steam in just a minute.
there's gonna be a redefining of some borders,
and I will receive my orders
on the day when my new friends come.

the rooftops and the sidewalks
will all melt like pastic.
and oh friends, old friends, dear friends,
I'm gonna look fantastic.

there won't be any reason left to cry
'cause there won't be any people left to cry for.
my memory's gonna vaporize itself.
and my italian shoes, well, they will be to die for.
I believe I can fly.
might you look up at me and wave goodbye
on the day when my new friends come?