The Mitchell Brothers Album

yeah man what fuck you want me to do
you want me to phone your girlfriend yeah and appologise on your behalf does it looklike I got cunt on my forehead

no-ones saying your a cunt but at the end of the day Im asking you a favour

nah man

so what? wouldnt I do the same thing for you

bruv I would not ask you to phone my girlfriend

VERSE 1 [TEDDY MITCHELL]

ah you fuckin prick
sometimes you act like your dumb or thick
cant you take the hint that I cant let you in
your such a pain in the arse you are I should saprk your jaw
I hear your ??? kicking at my door
on my free fone ders 3 missed calls
shouting through my letter box all pissed off
I dont give a shit so prick piss off
plus I got a yatty in the gaff with a batty
that is ready for some lashing from the back
shes been here since popworld started and I aint even got to pop her bra yet
all you really care about is football
every fucking hour its Liverpool Liverpool
we'll you've picked the wrong day prick I dont care if your pissed off you make me sick

CHORUS X 1 [TEDDY MITCHELL]

fuck Tony
fuck Tony
fuck Tony
fuck Tony

VERSE 2 [TONY MITCHELL]

you unreliable cunt
this is about the 3rd time I have rung
you know Im supposed to beat your drum
kick offs at 2 and its half past 1
look at you in and done
its the cup final
and you know im a Liverpool fan Steves my idol
and we both came up with the plan
to tell the guys to
that we were all going to jam in your living room
in front of the digital
even when I got the guiness and the chicken pattys who the fuck do you think are getting me flippin abby
your taking the liberty
your a prick
I go round your house to give your door a couple of kicks
I bet your in the room right now
with the blinds down but I'll soon find out
your takin he piss last week was my shout
payed for the box office for that big title bout

CHOUS X 1 [TONY MITCHELL]

fuck Teddy
fuck Teddy
fuck Teddy
fuck Teddy

[TEDDY]
for your own sake and future reference mate
do yourself a favour call 08 702 40 40 40 then you wont have to be calling me calling me calling me
you tight cunt
get your paper out your pocket
and pay for the satellite dish or cable socket
and dont come around here chatting shit again
when Im about to get a yatty with a batty in my bed

[TONY]
next time when you'll need a favour bruv
think before you call cause i'll hang up
all cause of you the guy that keeps texting me endlessly now my box is full with so many damn messages
u arse ho get your facts straight you said it was cool to come and watch the game
so dont make promises you cant keep
oh ye and im keeping your dvd you cunt

You know dont worry I wont ask you a favour again

I dont give a fuck what you do mate cause know what I mean cause you cant try and get me to phone your girl and know what I mean its no fuckin meals and boobs business around here mate

Wot you talking about

I dont give a fuck fuck what you talkin about

[No lyrics]

[No lyrics]

{Talk}
What I'm saying is this yeah,
Every time when I tell you like,
You know what I mean like,
Don't fucking go mad over your chick,
This that, this that,
It's for your own good,
Its called, na na, it is, its called experience.
Bruv, you know what yeah, what experience?
What so you've gone mad over a chick.
Yeah I have once, and I'm not doing that shit again,
You're fucking crazy.

{Spoken}
There's no point in telling her the truth,
Cos she's not gonna believe it.
You know what I mean,
She's just gonna listen to her friends,
Her fucking friends, you know what I mean.
So like, just like, forget about her, let's go get some drinks,
You know what I mean, go check some more yatis.

{Verse 1}
Bruv why did she hang up?
I know there's still anger
I put my hands up - yes I was a wanker.
I did lead with Tanya, when I left Tantra,
She had one too many so I called a cab.
I don't understand her, I never did grab her
She's listening to Amber, and we don't get on,
OK before, I did get caught,
But to jeopardise us again, I couldn't do.
Her friend, ain't talking sense,
See me and Tanya we're only just breadrins
Her friend, never saw anything
We got in, I dropped her off to her rents.

{CHORUS}
This morning it got light, but I'd still not been to sleep,
Thinking of what to do to ease this grief.
I know I lied but I had a reason please believe,
I fold the pillow, and try n squeeze some sleep

{Verse 2 : Mike Skinner}
Please don't delete, my phone number please,
I know you don't need, to mope about me.
I did go with Lis, she phoned to speak,
She wants me back, but I want you.
Don't shoot through, you're going to lose
A bloke who's truly devoted to you
I owe to you, to know a few truths,
Home truth truths, you going to screw.
Your friends, are not talking sense,
Are you sure your head ignores them?
Your friends, never saw anything,
We talked then, I walked to my ends.

{CHORUS}

{Verse 3}

Bruv I'll tell you this for free, Ambers chatting shit again.
She needs to go on Trisha, with all her fucking shenanigans.
She's just sad and bitter, cos her and her man split up.
So now she wants her and the girls to be a gang of spinsters.
And bruv, huh, I told you, you cant be chatting to Tanya.
So when she calls you, just blank her.
That night I went to Ten Rooms after Tantra,
But I didn't think you and her would jump in the same cab bruv.
Listen bruv, just give your girl time and space.
Maybe a couple of days, to get her mind straight.
Serious bruv listen, allow it for a bit,
And if she's got any sense, she'll know Amber's chatting shit.

{CHORUS}

[No lyrics]

{Talk}
Huh, the kind of girl that works in Harvey Nicks yeah,
Is the kind of girl that's got fucking barely rounda bags (?),
And I don't mean bags bags, I mean like shopping bags, serious.
I never liked Dry Your Eyes anyways,
The only person that liked it was my mum,
You know what I mean,
cos man had flippin overalls on,
the pretty bird behind the tills takin the piss outta man,
even giving man no help.

{CHORUS x2 : Mike Skinner}
When I drop in Harvey Nicks,
to shop in Harvey Nicks
If I don't look hardly slick,
or appear hardly fit,
the cashier don't hardly trip,
the lady hardly flits,
unless im wearing barmy shit,
or garments that are the shit.

{Verse 1 : Teddy Mitchell}
The last time we was in here, we just lined with despair.
The pretty bird behind the till was flipping thru Marie Claire
Flicking the end of her hair, fidgeting, all nervous,
Had us thinking where the fuck is the customer service?!ќ
Must have been the flippin shabby overalls we're wearing,
And the batch of Classics that were on the verge of tearing.
Cos Aunty's front room needed redecorating,
So we painted it light blue to make it look more radiant.
But today that aint the case (na mate!)
It's Lionel Scott cardigans, that us man were dreamt in
The pretty bird behind the till's grin is so blatant,
And suckin man's bottom, cos she must think we got the papers.
So from this day forth, we must always recall,
Never ever to come back in here in overalls,
Cos pretty birds behind tills, they don't like to smile and talk,
To brehs bowling down in fucking overalls.

{CHORUS}

{Verse 2 : Tony Mitchell}
It's as if she's never seen our mugs in here before,
Cos as soon as we was about to make a move, she released the door,
Pointing her finger at her assistant to attend to both of our needs,
Chucking an opener on the counter, strutting towards Teddy and me.
Now its all a guided tour through the Lacoste new seasons,
Compliments on our retirements, mixing offering us greetings (?).
Not to mention the welcome ? and the private seating,
That they usually use for the service twats,
With the request to them to bring the teas in.
But the other day, that weren't the case.. na mate
It was her on the fone to the security guard,
To follow us for no damn reason.
Lookin down at our watch, giving us the cold shoulder treatment.
Asking us if we could hurry up cos they were closing early that evening.
So from that day forth, we have always remembered,
Never ever to wear overalls, its just absurd.
Cos overall, all over, overalls don't work
Cos now that we're in London its got the bird flicking up her skirt.

{CHORUS x2}

{Verse 3 : Sway}
When I shop at Harvey Nicks,
Everyone thinks I'm a star,
Cos I wear my rented blazer,
And I step out my rented car.
A little girl with a pen ran up to me and said I know who you are
But when I gave her my autograph she said mum is this how u spell lemar?ќ
When I shop at Harvey Nicks,
The security give me grief,
They must think I'm a thief, cos I don't sound like The Streets.
Even when I'm just trying it on, they think I'm trying it on.
I said Œwhy would I steal from you? I'm loaded
Then they called the police there's a guy with a gun!ќ
Despite this, I like shopping here,
Cos it's a lot quicker than eBay
I bumped into this Labour MP who was looking for a pair of CK,
I said "Hi, I'm Sway, and I hope you're having a nice dayќ
Then I slapped him in his face and said what type of party doesn't have a DJ?"ќ
I remember the first time I came here,
I was shoplifting and got nabbed,
In the shop lift I got grabbed,
Hey you! Excuse me, open your bag!ќ
I got put in a pair of handcuffs,
All for a pair of cufflinks,
I said Œplease sir, don't send me to prison, if its anything like Butlinsќ

{CHORUS x2}

{Mike Skinner}
It don't mean anything anyway man,
Harvey Nicks is shiiiit!
I'm all about Selfridges,
Seriously Selfridges man,
Harvey Nicks is the kind of place Ted Mayern goes,
Don't wanna shop in the same shop as him,
Cos that cunt looks like a fucking clown!

{Tony Mitchell}
See what she does then... slag...slag...slag!

{Teddy Mitchell}
That might not be a good idea, but still.

Oi ref! You blatantly saw his left leg,
Clipping Ryan in the box, that's a red
He was one on one with the keeper,
Have a word with the linesman flagging on your left,
I mean they should be playing with 10 men,
He was well past the line, past defence,
What the fuck are they saying?
Come on what's the delay?
Send him off to the, the bench!
What do you mean he was fucking offside?
Ain't you flippin opened your eyes?
He was through on the ball,
And his right foot to score in the top corner to equalise.
Ref he should be taking the spot kick,
Are you a fucking alcoholic?
You was metres away, mate give us a break,
We don't take it out of your pocket
That's fucking out of order ref, how come?
You were quick to book him, what has he done?
What do you mean for dissent and recent comments when?
I was just having some fun

He just shakes his head,
And fucking walks away,
There's 10 minutes left,
It's always his way,
Every time we've met,
He's fucked up the day,
Without the referee it'd be a fairer game!

It's common sense lads, fucking common sense,
All the fucking balls stay on offence,
Defence, defend, we've only got 20 to go till the end,
What is the keeper playing at?
Stay on your fucking line, Matt stay on his back!
Fucking tackle! What do you mean your ankle?
Ref's pulling your leg, I can see from this angle.
That's not a fucking card. Fuck off, never!
He's not fucking hurt, he's trying to be fucking clever,
Hold your tongue Paul son, keep it together,
Or that could be you in the fucking black book.
And that's far from a fucking happy look,
We dropped down the drain, fancy getting some hooks
Fuck's sake is he off, or is he off the hook?
Only a fucking caution, nearly had me shook.
But a free kick in our direction,
Right at the edge of the box we'll need protection.
Oh shit El Guerro takes it in discretion,
Come on boys sort out your fucking selection

He places the ball,
Then goes takes six steps back,
There's a hole in the wall,
Someone please fill the gap,
If he fucking scores,
I'll be facing the sack,
Not to mention my head in the Sun getting axed.

Fucking hell keeper, keep on your toes,
He's gonna swing it up in the corner, here he goes,
On your right son, shit I can read his flow,
Its curling, its curling, don't let it go,
Oh fuck no. I fucking knew it.
I fucking knew it. We've gone and blew it.
At 5 on the clock we had the game in the bag,
Was winning the nag, now we're heading out,
Must have had the right idea, we're scratching our heads in doubt
I've gone down the drain, and another round,
When me and the lads all meet down the Flushing Dam,
2 minutes left, might as well check the oven now,
Who? Us? When? How? I mean who got fouled?
A fucking penalty, now we're in with a shout.
I cant believe it, come on Jase do us proud,
Come on mate, come on mate, to your left!
To your left mate! Come on! You can do it!
What the f... what the...what the fucks wrong with this TV?

She could have waited till I got home
Now she's on the train while I'm on my own

(Chorus)
First thing this morning you ironed my shirt for me
Lunch break we were fighting on the phone
This evening brought back DVDs
But I'm alone with the TV

First thing this morning your head was on my chest
I had to be up early so I left you in the bed
You looked so entising curled under the duvet
But I couldn't jump back in coz I didn't wanna b late
U laid there so calmly as I quickly got dressed
And my Armani cardi and shirt they were neatly pressed
I wanted to say bye
but I didn't wanna wake u up
So I fort id give u a call on my lunch break or sumink

At lunch break I rung you on the house fone but u never answered so I hung up n rang back on da voda
U were chattin so cosha
But then u started 2 moan luv bout how I neva give u no time when I'm out non da roads nuff
I couldn't take all the long talk so I told u please ease off
I had to push the red button with my thumb coz I was so peed off
This evening I bought back some Chinese to munch
And I even went n got sum DVD's to watch

(Chorus)
First thing this morning you ironed my shirt for me
Lunch break we were fighting on the phone
This evening brought back DVDs
But I'm alone with the TV

My head in my hands staring rite at my hairbrush
On the table beside my cup of tea and my toast still untouched
My fist on the table,
Eyes fixed to the carpet,
Telephone goin off but cant b arsed to even go n answer it
My head in my hands
Coz I opened up the front door to see if there was any post there for me on the floor in the porch
My fist on the table coz the letter I just read
in black had just said that u had left with my best friend
My eyes to the ceiling coz I fort it was all a joke
Until I opened up your wardrobe, no hangers no clothes
My head in my hands
Coz the photo I'm holding is a photo of u and your fucking smile

(Chorus)
First thing this morning you ironed my shirt for me
Lunch break we were fighting on the phone
This evening brought back DVDs
But I'm alone with the TV

This evening I had brought back love actually,
coz I fort we had woz actually love
But I cant see your Gucci scarf or your zara gloves
There aint no matt lipgloss or eyeliner n stuff
On the bathroom sink there's only 1 toothbrush,
there's only one face wash,
there's only 1 sponge
On the table by da stove
there's a note n a biro
I'm tryin 2 chase u on da voda just 2 ask you why doh?
At lunch break I should have listened to your whinin on the phone
and not bin so impatient or tired of your moaning I should have told you
We'll sort it when I get in at 6
And set all our differences by talking it out n shit
First thing this mornin I should have rubbed off Simone's, Paula's and Josephine's numbers of my phone
If I'd done dat dis mornin you'd b here at home
If I'd done dat dis mornin I wouldn't b alone!

She could have waited till I got home
Now she's on the train while I'm on my own

{Intro}
Tony, Tony, Tony,
Only had a couple!

(CHORUS)
But he's had a fair few shots
And he starts to swear a lot,
But she hasn't bared a drop,
And thus...everyone stares too much

{Verse 1 : Tony Mitchell}
Cor blimey, see that bird take a good look at her skirt,
Oh me word, I can see heaven take me far from Earth,
I'll have some of that love, how much are you worth?
No I'm not being tricky love, this glass is me first,
Now how about a score, OK then 25,
Why did you slap me for, I was trying'a be kind,
Go get your boyfriend then, I ain't gonna run,
So what if he's a boxer, I'm already numb.
Now out of the way, its me turn same again sonќ
What did you say cunt, I'll tell you when I'm done,
I'm drunk, you're flippin drunk, in fact you're raw some,
Come on then, lets have it then, now where the hells me gun?
Oh you all think it's a joke, well lets just see,
When I count to three, you will all respect me,
Dead bag I Tony, everyone knows me,
What's wrong now sweetheart, are we getting cold feet?

(CHORUS)

{Verse 2 : Mike Skinner, Tony Mitchell, Teddy Mitchell}
Mike: Excuse me, can I have a word outside if you please
Tony: What if I refuse, what are you gonna do geez?
Mike: Oi, lets cut to the chase, did you disrespect me Stace?
Tony: Oh you mean that slag, she's a bloody disgrace
I offered her 25, and she slapped me in me face
I mean, would you believe it Ted? Right in me face!
She's lucky she didn't get put right in her place,
That's it, I've had enough, outside, come on lets go now!
Teddy: Listen bruv, that's enough,
I'll put it blunt, you're looking like a cunt,
Breathe in, breathe out,
Or you'll end up in the back of the meatvan
Like you always do when you have a glass of gin and juice,
Causing trouble in the venue,
What you trying to make the 10 o'clock news?
No, no, don't talk, your ignorance will be a downfall,
What you gotta shout loud for,
Embarrassing yourself when you're outdoors,
Talking like you got big balls,
Gritting your teeth like a pitbull,
Looking like you're gonna be sick,
Dude check yourself mate, you're a Mitchell

(CHORUS)

{Verse 3 : Teddy Mitchell}
Please excuse my brother,
He's got too much booze in his bladder,
Giving you all the chitter-chatter,
Getting all rude in a geezer manner.
Please accept my apologies on his behalf,
And I don't think that he really meant to squeeze your arse,
But he was being an idiot,
That I can't deny, I must admit,
That he was out of line, and he pushed it just a little bit
But what about you though, showing off flesh like a sumo,
Your skirts up too high, and your top's cut too low,
And there's your boyfriend, acting like a boss kinda like Hugo,
Put yourself in my brother's shoes mate,
What if it was you bro?
Lets just all get along,
Do a little dance to some songs,
Forget about this nonsense,
We can all move on!

{Outro}
Tony, Tony, Tony,
Only had a couple!

[No lyrics]

[No lyrics]

[No lyrics]