The Divine Comedy Album

Hey, I'm not the type to say one thing and do another
And if it's all right I'd kind of like to be your lover
Cause when you're with me I can't help but be
So desperately uncontrollably happy!
And hey, I'm not the kind to fall in love without good reason
And if that's a crime, then baby I'm committing high treason
Cause when you're with me I'm absolutely and totally
Quite uncontrollably happy!
And hey, I'm not so blind that I can't see where we're all going
And it's no fault of mine if humankind reaps what it is sowing
Just as long as we are together for ever
I'll never be anything other than happy!
Hey, don't be surprised if millions die in plague and murder
True happiness lies beyond your fries and Happy Burger...

Everybody knows that I love you
Everybody knows that I need you
Everybody knows that I do, except you

I told the stars above about the one I love
I told the morning sun, yeah I'm telling everyone
I told my mum and dad, they seemed to understand
And I'll get through to you if it's the last thing that I do

Everybody knows that I love you
Everybody knows that I need you
Everybody knows that I do, except you

Everybody knows I live for you
Everybody knows I adore you
Everybody knows that it's true except you

I told all of my friends again and again and again
I drove them round the bend so now you're my only friend
I told the passers by, I made a small boy cry
And I'll get through to you if it's the last thing that I do

Everybody knows I live for you
Everybody knows I adore you
Everybody knows that it's true except you

Someone I once knew
Told someone like you
“Love is just a word”
Now I'm not so sure that's true

Someone made me see
How someone like me
Needn't be so closed
Just 'cos they once chose to be

I need to be someone's somebody

Someone heard my call
When I was all at sea
Someone rescued me
When my life was all but through

Someone made me feel
Like someone really cares
I hardly even dare
To believe it's real, it's really true

I need to be somebody's somebody

If you were the road
I'd go all the way
If you were the night
I'd sleep in the day
If you were the day
I'd cry in the night
'Cause you are the way
The truth and the light
If you were a tree
I could put my arms around you
And you could not complain
If you were a tree
I could carve my name into your side
And you would not cry,
'Cos trees don't cry

If you were a man
I would still love you
If you were a drink
I'd drink my fill of you
If you were attacked
I would kill for you
If your name was Jack
I'd change mine to Jill for you
If you were a horse
I'd clean the crap out of your stable
And never once complain
If you were a horse
I could ride you through the fields at dawn
Through the day until the day was gone
I could sing about you in my songs
As we rode away into the setting sun

If you were my little girl
I would find it hard to let you go
If you were my sister
I would find it doubly so
If you were a dog
I'd feed you scraps from off the table
Though my wife complains
If you were my dog
I am sure you'd like it better
Then you'd be my loyal four legged friend
You'd never have to think again
And we could be together till the end

You know, quite for no reason
I'm here for the season
And high as a kite -
Living in error
With Maud at Cap Ferret
(Which couldn't be right)...
Everyone's here, and frightfully gay;
Nobody cares what people say,
Though the Riviera
Seems really much queerer
Than Rome at its height!
On Wednesday night
I went to a marvellous party
With Noonoo, and Nada, and Nell -
It was in the fresh air,
And we went as we were,
And we stayed as we were,
(Which was hell)
Poor Grace started singing at midnight,
And she didn't stop singing 'til four -
We knew the excitement was bound to begin
When Laura got blind on Dubonnet and gin
And scratched her veneer with a Cartier pin!
I couldn't have liked it more!
I've been to a marvellous party
We played a wonderful game:
Maureen disappeared
And came back in a beard,
And we all had to guess at her name...
Cecil arrived wearing armour,
Some shells and a black feather boa -
Poor Millicent wore a surrealist comb
Made of bits of mosaic from St. Peter's in Rome,
But the weight was so great that she had to go home!
And I couldn't have liked it more!
I've been to a marvellous party
I must say the fun was intense;
We all had to do
What the people we knew
Might be doing a hundred years hence...
We talked about growing old gracefully,
And Elsie - who's seventy-four -
Said, "A) It's a question of being sincere,
And B) If you're supple you've got nothing to fear" -
Then she swung upside-down from a chandelier!
And I couldn't have liked it more!
It was the most fabulous excitement
I've never seen such a carry-on!
Obviously, it couldn't happen
Anywhere else but on the Riviera...
It was most peculiar -
You know, people's behaviour
Away from Belgravia
Would make you aghast!
So much variety,
Watching society
Scampering past...
You know, if you have any mind at all,
Gibbon's divine "Decline And Fall" -
Well, it sounds pretty flimsy
No more than a whimsy...
By way of contrast,
On Wednesday last
I went to a marvellous party
We didn't sit down 'til ten
You know, young Bobby Carr
Did a stunt at the bar
With a lot of extraordinary men!
And then Freda arrived with a turtle,
(Which shattered us all to the core)
And then the duchess passed out at a quarter to three
And suddenly Cyril cried "Fiddle-de-dee!",
Then he ripped off his trousers
And jumped in the sea!
And I couldn't have liked it more!
I've been to a marvellous party
Elyse made an entrance with May
You'd never have guessed
From her fisherman's vest
That her bust had been whittled away...
Poor Lulu got fried on Chianti
And talked about esprit de corps;
Louise made a couple of passes at Gus,
And Freddie - who hates any kind of a fuss -
Did half the Big Apple and twisted his truss - ha ha!
I couldn't have liked it more!

When I fall asleep it could be forever
So I'll never fall asleep again
When I fall apart put me back together
And my life will be complete

Maybe it's tonight
Maybe tomorrow night
Next week
Next month
Next year
We've only time to fear

When I fall behind in the quest for pleasure
I shall treasure this short time with you
We shall not be chained
We shall not be tethered
And we'll never be unkind

If I fall in love it could be forever
So I'll never fall in love
But the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I might fall in love with you
Fall in love with you

I was born yesterday
And I believe all that you say
I have no choice
I must obey
You
Is this the first or the second day
Of the rest of my life
Well, hey!
Why should I care
Either way
If what you say is true?
Saturday morning
Eighteenth of December
I cannot remember the last time that I saw
Such a young ballerina
In love with the loveless
In tune with a tuneless old upright piano
Standing on point
Going through each position
With gentle precision
She measures each movement
Her classical features and elegant waistline
Are going to waste while she pleases her parents
I
I was born yesterday
And I believe all that you say
I have no choice
I must obey
You
I have a question:
Is this the first or the second day
Of the rest of my life
Well, hey, hey!
Why should I care
Either way
If what you say is true?
What if they die on the road to Rathmines
Where a dog in two minds times his run to perfection
An orphan at last, she'd be sick in the loo bowl
Then go to the funeral
And cry by the graveside
And then sleep with the first man she sees
And she'd catch some disease that she'd give to her doctor
She'd cook her own breakfast, and she'd cook his as well
And both get on swell, even though he was married
You are a part of me
I am a part of you
Why should I let you walk
All over me?

(Hello, what have we here?)
(A young lady!)
(To what do I owe this pleasant surprise my pretty one?)
(How may I be of service this dark and wintry night?)
(Ah, I see... you wish me to look into the future, your future)
(After GCSEs, A-levels, University...)
(After your first badly paid job in advertising)
(Okay my pretty... just cross my palm with plastic, and I'll see what I
can do)
(Wait!)
(The fog is lifting...)
I see oriental paper globes
hanging like decomposing cocoons
While exotic candles overload
the musty air with their stale perfumes
And I see lentils, beans, seaweed and rice
in jars on the window-sill
And it ain't hardly enough to feed the mice
running behind the lines of allergy pills
All these things will come to pass
when heroes of the middle-class
face up to their responsibilities
I see and Indian fertility god
he's got thirty seven limbs to spare
And tasteless tie-dyed tablecloths
that double up as evening wear
And I see naked bodies twist and turn
on the futon of dreams fulfilled
But their three-year-old kid seems unconcerned
He'd rather swallow all those allergy pills
All these things will come to pass
when heroes of the middle-class
face up to their responsibilities
I see unspeakable vulgarity
institutionalised mediocrity
infinite tragedy
Rise up little souls - join the doomed army
Fight the good fight - wage the unwinnable war
Elegance against ignorance
Difference against indifference
Wit against shit
My words fly up to heaven, my thoughts remain below
Words said without feeling never to heaven go...
All these things will come to pass
when heroes of the middle-class
face up, repent, and pay the price
for accidentally creating life
An oversight for which they must atone
and sacrifice their own

They sit, and watch the clouds go by
And make believe it's Irish skies
They love the sun, but pray for rain
They drink to take away the pain
The London streets are paved with gold
For the London Irish
You gain the world and you lose your soul
Well if your picture is seen on the cover of every magazine
And every TV screen, will there be anything left
Of the London Irish?
They say they will return again,
But they won't say exactly when...

Bernice bobs her hair
In the barber's in the square
All her new-found friends are there to see it done
Bernice bobs her hair
She's been driven to despair
'Cos her cousin doesn't care about anyone
Her hair was long
Her hair was dark
Her hair fell down her back
And now it lies upon the floor
Bernice runs out the door
Marjorie had told her what to wear to the parties
Marjorie had told her what to say to the boys
Now Marjorie was jealous of her social advances
And presented her with this choice:
"Bernice, bob your hair
You've persistently declared
This intention
Do you dare to disagree?"
So Bernice bobs her hair
And is instantly ensnared
In a trap so well-prepared by Marjorie
Her hair was long
Her hair was dark
Her hair fell down her back
The mirror tells of her mistake
Her heart is fit to break
So when it's dark
And her cousin sleeps
Into the room she creeps
Marjorie's curls come down like rain
Bernice runs for her train

I travelled among unknown men
In lands beyond the sea;
Nor, England, did I know 'til then
What love I bore to thee!
'Tis past, that melancholy dream -
Nor will I quit thy shore
A second time, for I still seem
To love thee more and more.
Among thy mountains did I feel
The joy of my desire,
And she I cherished turned her wheel
Beside an English fire.
By mornings showed, by nights concealed
The bowers where Lucy played;
And thine, too, is the last green field
That Lucy's eye surveyed.
She dwelt among the untrodden ways
Beside the springs of Dove;
A maid whom there were none to praise
And very few to love.
A violet by a mossy stone,
Half hidden from the eye;
Fair as a star, when only one
Is shining in the sky.
She lived alone, and few could know
When Lucy ceased to be;
But she is in her grave, and oh!
The difference to me!
A slumber did my spirit seal;
I had no human fears.
She seemed a thing that could not feel
The touch of earthly years.
No motion has she now, no force;
She neither hears nor sees -
Rolled round in earth's diurnal course
With rocks, and stones, and trees.