Squeeze Album

They do it down on Camber Sands, they do it at Waikiki
Lazing about the beach all day, at night the crickets creepy
Squinting faces at the sky, a Harold Robbins paperback
Surfers drop their boards and dry, and everybody wants a hack

But behind the chalet, my holiday's complete
And I feel like William Tell
Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet
Pulling mussels from a shell
Pulling mussels from a shell

Shrinking in the sea so cold, topless ladies look away
A he-man in a sudden shower shelters from the rain
You wish you had a motorboat to pose around the harbor bar
And when the sun goes off to bed, you hook it up behind the car

But behind the chalet, my holiday's complete
And I feel like William Tell
Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet
Pulling mussels from a shell
Pulling mussels from a shell

Two fat ladies window shop, something for the mantelpiece
In for bingo, all the nines, a panda for sweet little niece
Coach drivers stand about, looking at a local map
About the boy, he's gone away, down to next door's caravan

But behind the chalet, my holiday's complete
And I feel like William Tell
Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet
Pulling mussels from a shell
Pulling mussels from a shell

But behind the chalet, my holiday's complete
And I feel like William Tell
Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet
Pulling mussels from a shell
Pulling mussels from a shell

The case was pulled from under the bed
She made a call to a sympathetic friend and made arrangements
The door was closed, there was a note
I couldn't be bothered, maybe I'll choke, no more engagements
With where-have-you-beens and far away frowns
Trying to be good by not being 'round

And here in the bar, the piano man's found
Another nail for my heart
And here in the bar, the piano man's found
Another nail for my heart

That stupid old bug that kills only love
I want to be good, is that not enough

So play me the song that makes it so tough
Another nail for my heart
Then play me the song that makes it so tough
Another nail for my heart

I had excuses, those little boy lies
That she computed by watching my eyes and told me firmly
She couldn't stand it, I'm bad on her heart
She dropped her make-up and I found the bar, now it concerns me
I've had a bad time, now love is resigned
I've been such a fool, I've loved and goodbyed

So here in the bar, the piano man's found
Another nail for my heart
And here in the bar, the piano man's found
Another nail for my heart
And here in the bar, the piano man's found
Another nail for my heart
And here in the bar, the piano man's found
Another nail for my heart
And here in the bar, the piano man's found
Another nail for my heart

Tonight I take her from her parents
I came along to her rescue
Without a word about arrangements
She came along without a clue
So I said my love I want to take you
A place I have inside my head
And so it seemed I had to love you
With some cards and separate beds

Her mother didn't like me
She thought I was on drugs
My mother didn't like her
She'd never peel the spuds
So we took off together
And stayed at Mrs. Smith's
Breakfast at half seven
Where you can view the cliffs

The moon was full and in our window
I could see her turning in her bed
I was loved but all in limbo
There was time to pass but not to spend
Soon I saw that this was silly
Spending all my wages on this peach
When we could sit so very pretty
And get our heads down out on the beach

Her father seemed to like me
I helped him fix his car
My father seemed to like her
And I couldn't see the harm
In going off together
To see the pier and lights
So we could be together
In separate beds tonight

Hitched a hiker
Up above the border
She'd spent some time
In Morocco and Gibraltar
And stole my wallet
With a picture of my misses
With fond remembrance
Of everything with kisses
From the Isle of Dogs
To the Egyptian sands
Where the Arabs chew on dates
And I haven't forgot what it's like to be
With misadventure and her mates
Misadventure and her mates

I miss the East End
High up on the Khyber
And I'm the target
For a dozen rebel snipers
It's not so bad though
With some beers in the freezer
And something fancy
In the airconditioned sleeper
From the Isle of Dogs
To the Egyptian sands
Where the Arabs chew on dates
And I haven't forgot what it's like to be
With misadventure and her mates
Misadventure and her mates

In moving carpets
Through the customs at Dover
Thinking my journey
Was going to be over
Then they discovered
A shipment of Moroccan
And said excuse me sir
There's something you've forgotten
From the Isle of Dogs
To the Egyptian sands
Where the Arabs chew on dates
And I haven't forgot what it's like to be
With misadventure and her mates
Misadventure and her mates
Behind prison walls and gates

Funny words I cannot read
Trams and boats where Strauss is street
Milky way and far out looks
On your bike and Anne Frank books
Down the disco it's clockwork time
Where's the humour where am I
This world's got smaller
I'm shaking lots of hands
Saying lots of things
That no one understands
You can shake my tree
But you won't get me
Where am I
I think I'm go go, go go, go go

Liquor stores and rodeos
P I X and rock and roll
The freckled faced, the thin and fat
The drive-in film, the drive-in bank
Strip and porno neon signs
Where's the buildings, where am I?
This world's got smaller
I'm shaking lots of hands
Saying lots of things
That no one understands
You can shake my tree
But you won't get me
Where am I
I think I'm go go, go go, go go, go go, go go, go go

Buckingham Palace trains all late
Funny little men all out in the rain
Car front deals and afters pubs
Tenth year plays and seedy clubs
And iffy people don't seem to mind
Where's the action where am I
Oh this world's got smaller
I'm shaking lots of hands
Saying lots of things
That no one understands
You can shake my tree
But you won't get me
Where am I
I think I'm go go, go go, go go, go go, go go, go go, go go, go go, go go, go go

Everybody's dancing
To the Farfisa beat
All the girls are crazy
Acting out the heat
Tie and shirts and cufflinks
Well that's pretty neat
Flash flash mirror ball
Stereo and disco
Wow wow ain't she tall
Moved off my feet
To the Farfisa Beat

Pulling my side glances
To the one across the way
She wears alot of makeup
But they all do these days
Pretty horny tee shirt
Well mighten you explain

Beat for beat for beat for all
Cut there in the yea
Everybody's got the girl
So is there any spare
For five foot seven
Of heavy duty wear

Up in the morning
Politely yawning
There's frost on the roof of the car
First cigarette puffs
Gold links in my cuffs
Egg on the shirt of my heart

Fingerprints in the dust with my name
Squint my eyes to see from my fame
Spot the words that fall from my lines
The deafness hides the light from the blind

Stop starting journey
The road returns me
Back to the world in the evening
The stage rehearsals
Voice on the circles
Blah blah my way to the celing

I can't see the walls from the chairs
Are there people sitting out there
Feed me with a frown or a laugh
Featureless the faces that ask

Tonight I'm cracking
I'm murder acting
Footlit the visual of my lines
I'll smoke and drink it
I'll eat and think it
Miserable the murder plot unwinds

With her hair up in his fingers
The fish and chips smell lingers
Under amber streetlamps
She holds the law in her hands
The moistness of the damp night
Falls silent through the lamplight
Although she's only fourteen
She really knows her courting
And up the railway sidings
There's him and her
They're lying
Hand in hand they whisper
You're my missus and I'm your mister
The moon as white and virgin
And she was on the turning
Remember your first nibble
When best friends were so little

They really trooped the colours
When walking with each other
And all her mates would giggle
As ladylike she'd wiggle
All along the high street
They'd splash out on an ice cream
He'd sometimes really treat her
But he'd done his mother's meter

Well he went off to Borstal
He said that he was forced to
Rob the flats of Hi Fi's
Cuz she was ill
And she would cry
Each morning she got sicker
Her mother sometimes hit her
If she'd have known the story
She would have been so sorry

He received a letter and admitted it
There was nothing else to do but get rid of it
Lonely in his dormitory
He'd sit and stare
If this is for real
And is it really fair

Summer came so they went
Down to the coast in his tent
She cooked upon his primus
And sampled local cider
She told him in his rucksack
I think I want that chance back
To be perhaps the one who
Will forever love you

If I didn't love you I'd hate you
Watching you play in the bath
A soap suds stickle back navy
A scrubbing brush landing craft
Your skin gets softer and warmer
I pat you down with a towel
Tonight it's love by the fire
My mind goes out on the prowl
If I If I If I If I If I

If I didn't love you I'd hate you
I'm playing your stereogram
Singles remind me of kisses
Albums remind me of plans
Tonight it's love by the fire
The wind plays over the coals
Passionate looks are my fancy
But you turn the look into stone

If I didn't love you
Would you sit and glow by the fire
If I didn't love you
Would you make me feel so
Maybe love me
Oh if I didn't love you

If I didn't love you I'd hate you
Cocoa mugs sit side by side
It's time to poke at the fire
But it's not tonight
Looks I find
Taking a bite on a biscuit
The record jumps on a scratch
Tonight it's love by the fire
The door of your love's on the latch

If I, if I, if I
Didn't, didn't, didn't
Love you, love you, love you

Across the ocean she's been waiting to hear
If love's a secret to all the things she fears
Was it tiptoe around my pillow talk
They'll come the only boy she had with any thought

The heart pretends I'm not so far away
She said tomorrow and I'm here today

I miss her now and I say it's only true
I feel like I'm on the wrong side of the moon

I'm forgettin' to remember to forget
All the memories locked in my head

I'll be home then you'll hear what I say
It seems forever started only yesterday

My heart keeps time which passes very slow
When you're lonely without a place to go

I've got the lonesome ocean blues
I feel like I'm on the wrong side of the moon

Across the ocean there's a heart that beats for me
Beat, beating, waiting patiently

Pulls us together when we're apart
Keeps the devil from playing with your heart

But I'll pretend we're not so far away
I'm home tomorrow or maybe it's today

Across the ocean there's nothing else to do
It feels like you're on the wrong side of the moon

She's independent
She's a modern woman
She needs no prompting
On her should 'n' shouldn't
It's always bosses
Who wish that she wouldn't
Files in the cabinet so neatly numerical
Makes all the clients so neatly alphabetical
Turn of 21
She's looking at the map
Looking at her watch
Bags on the rack
It seems like she's there at the top

There for her service
Comfy red Granada
Up to the midlands
With a taped Sinatra
Plans all the hotels
And the airplane charters
Found under covers with some representative
The deal is effected but still only tentative

Shorthands a letter
Heading on the paper
Slimline her lunchbreak
Will it ever make her
Slender and modern
So all the men will take her
Back to the mirror in the Empress Hotel
Where the businessman smiles and the object is sell