Primus Album

To the carpenter said the dainty bride
The grass appears greener on the other side
So let's clarify before we unite
The grass is never greener on the other side

To the carpenter said the dainty bride
I pledge to you my love tonight
But I will not hesitate to euthanise
If the grass becomes greener on the other side

Said the carpenter to the dainty bride
I would never do a thing to jeapardise
This union I consider a prize
Grass will never be greener on the other side

To the preacher man said the dainty wife
He thought the grass was greener on the other side
So I buried in his belly my butcher knife
And ended these years of wretched strife

Said the preacher man to the guilty wife
Though the law may give you twenty years to life
Pray forgiveness in the Father's eyes
And the grass may just be greener on the other side

On the other side
Hahahaha
Other side
Hahahaha

Look away...
Look away...
Look away...
Look away...

To the carpenter said the dainty bride
The grass is never greener on the other side {x7}

To the carpenter said the dainty bride
The grass is never greener on the...

Sgt Pilcher, Sgt Pilcher
Ingeneous Sgt Pilcher
He's found a way to make them pay,
for the deviant things they do and say
Pilcher, Sgt Pilcher
Quick-witted Sgt Pilcher
He's a dutiful man with his task at hand
And he's bound to insure with his masterplan
The purity of the motherland
Sgt Pilcher

In October of 1968
in the heart of Montague Square
There was a rumour of some deviation,
so Pilcher's Squad was there
Though it was determined before the intrudence
that the flat was fully clear
When Pilcher arrived and made his inspection
the hashish magically appeared

Pilcher, Sgt Pilcher
Ingeneous Sgt Pilcher
He's found a way to make them pay,
for the deviant things they do and say
Pilcher, Sgt Pilcher
Quick-witted Sgt Pilcher
He's a dutiful man with his task at hand
And he's bound to insure with his masterplan
The purity of the motherland
Sgt Pilcher

In March of 1969
On return from the store
Patty Harrison found Pilcher's squad waiting at her door
Planting tidbits on the popstars
seemed quite the thing to do
'til it landed Pilcher in the pokie in 1972

Sgt Pilcher, Sgt Pilcher
That cunning Sgt Pilcher
He's found a way to make them pay,
for the deviant things they do and say
Pilcher, Sgt Pilcher
Sharp as a tack that Pilcher
He's a dutiful man with his task at hand
And he's bound to insure with his masterplan
The purity of the motherland
Sgt Pilcher

I once had an ice cube
Pretty little ice cube
Now it's gone
Now it's gone

Her name was Mary
Pretty little ice cube
Now she's gone
Now she's gone

She was so shiny
My pretty little ice cube
Now she's gone
Where's she gone?

She's gone with the others
The shiny little ice cubes
Movin' on
Movin' on
She's gone

Doesn't nothing ever last forever?

I miss my ice cube
Pretty little ice cube
Since she's withdrawn

I held her in my hand
My chilly little ice cube
Was it wrong?
Was it wrong?

She slipped away
My moist little ice cube
To oblivion
Oblivion

She left me standing
With tears on my face
On the lawn
So I wrote this song

Pretty little ice cube
Where have you gone?
Doesn't nothing ever last forever?

It's been declared
That it's not wise to prize something too much
I just wish to find something
To fondle and to touch so gently

Doesn't nothing ever last forever?

I got blood in my gas tank
Bones in my steel
I eat California condor
For my Thanksgiving meal
I'm the last superpower
I'm the son of a loaded gun
I'm Rapscallion

When I was young and shiny boy
I tried to dig my way to China
I met the Rapscallion
En route from South Carolina


Then he told me I don't like
I don't like you

He said I'm searching for a colored man
I said what colors have you seen?
He said I seen 'em black and brown and red
But, but, but the one I seek is green

Then he told me I don't like
I don't like you
I'm Rapscallion

My friend Fats, he's a hell of a guy
Let me tell you why
He's the epitome of neighborly

My friend Fats, he's a hell of a guy
Let me tell y'all why
He drips personality

My friend Fats, he's a heck of a joe
You should watch him go
Bopping in the band shine
With a bota bag of fried wine

My friend Fats, he's a hell of a guy
Let me tell you why
He's lowbrow nobility

My friend Fats, he's a jovial sort
When he's holding court
The anecdotes go round and the lager goes down

My friend Fats, he's a hell of a guy
And just as long as he's high
He has no anxiety about his chemical dependencies

Fats has no concerns about the candle that burns
Both ends simultaneous, both ends simultaneous

My friend Fats, he's a hell of a guy
Let me tell y'all why
He's not much for punctuality
But heck on debauchery

Fats, he's a hell of a man
Can't y'all understand
Him taunting his mortality
He's unnerved by sobriety