"I have no free will", I sang
As I flew about the murder
Mrs. Richard Holmes, she screamed
Well you really should have heard her
I sang and I laughed, I howled and I wept
I panted and I squealed
I blew a hole in Mrs. Richard Holmes
Who used her husband as a shield
He screamed "You are an evil man"
And I paused a while to wonder
"If I have no free will then how can I
Be morally culpable, I wonder"
I shot Richard Holmes in the stomach
I said "It felt good to take your life"
I'm not sure but I think that he thanked me
As he lay down next to his wife
"It's nice to be nice" I replied to him
He gave a little cough
"Ah yeah it's nice to be nice"
And I neatly aimed and blew his head completely off
I've lived in this town for thirty years
And to no-one I am a stranger
And I put new bullets in my gun
Chamber upon chamber
When I turned my gun on the bird-like Mr. Brookes
I thought of St. Francis and his sparrows
And as I shot down the youthful Richardson
It was Sebastian I thought of, and his arrows.
Hhhhhhhhhhhh Mmmmmmmmm
[Ohhhh my God! Oh my God!! He's shot him in the motherfucking head!]
I said, "I want to introduce myself
And I am glad that you all came"
And I leapt up upon the bar
And I shouted out my name
Well Jerry Bellows, he hugged his stool
Closed his eyes and shrugged and laughed
And with an ashtray as big as a really bloody big brick
I split his skull in half
"This hurts me more than it hurts you" I said
And I sat on the bar and cried
And for a strange moment, no-one moved or spoke
And we all sat like that for a while.
"It's nice to be nice", I said again
Well it is, and that's a fact
I smiled at Henry Davenport
I think Henry Davenport smiled back
Well from the position I was sitting
The strangest thing I ever saw
The bullet entered through the top of Henry's chest
And blew his bowels out on the floor
Well I floated down the counter
Showing no remorse
I shot a hole in Kathleen Carpenter
Recently divorced
But remorse I felt and remorse I had
It clung to every thing
From the raven's hair upon my head
To the feathers on my wings
"Life is grand", I shouted,
"But death is just the best"
And I glided through the bodies
And killed the fat man Vincent West
Who sat quietly in his chair
A grown man become a child
And I raised the gun up to his head
Executioner-style
He made no attempt to resist
So fat and dull and lazy
"Do you know I live in your street?" I cried
And he looked at me like I was crazy.
"O", he said, "I had no idea"
He grew quiet as a mouse
And the roar of the pistol when it went off
Near blew the roof right off the house
Hhhhh uh uh
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