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09/18/2007 |
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. . .
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Last night I fell in love without you.
I waved goodbye to that heart of mine
Eating solo on your lawn
Every aching wound will cauterize and bruise
In memory of what we used to call in love
And only time will tell if violins will swell
In memory of what we used to call in love
Used to call it love
Last night I fell in love without you
The cou de gras that set me off
Would've made for decent fiction
Every aching wound will cauterize and bruise
In memory of what we used to call in love
And only time will tell if violins will swell
In memory of what we used to call in love
Used to call it...
Last night I fell in love without you
The stars at night aren't as big and bright
As you make them out to be
Every aching wound will cauterize and bruise
In memory of what we used to call in love
And only time will tell if violins will swell
In memory of what we used to call in love
In memory of when we used to call it love
. . .
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I've got emotion
Dripping out my pores and I
Thought I would let you know
You are the night light,
Ripping through my wicked world
How you make it sparkle and glow,
Before I lose control
There's just one thing you should know
This is for real, this time I mean it
I'm coming clean, please don't let go
I said from the start, that you could take it or leave it
I'd prefer that you keep it
Don't let go
Don't let go
Don't let go
I had some nightmares,
Clawing at my skin and bones
I nearly did explode
You smoked the demons
Gave me back my feelings
Now I am good to go
Before, my face hits the floor
There's just one thing you should know
This is for real, this time I mean it
I'm coming clean, please don't let go
I said from the start, that you could take it or leave it
I'd prefer that you keep it
Don't let go
This is the best thing that I've ever had for real
This is the best thing that I've ever had for real
For a physical challenge I'm notoriously bored
Intravenous delivery, electrolytes and more
Everytime it's the same routine
Out with the bad, in with the clean
Before I lose all motor skills
There's one thing you should know
This is for real, this time I mean it
I'm coming clean, please don't let go
I said from the start, that you could take it or leave it
I'd prefer that you keep it
Don't let go
This is the best thing that I've ever had for real
This is the best thing that I've ever had for real
This is the best thing that I've ever had for real
This is the best thing that I've ever had for real
. . .
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I'll get lost, messed up and bored when I'm alone too long
I can't sleep, function or eat when I'm not with someone
Late last fall, she ended it all and moved to who-knows-where
Just like that, she vanished and packed and never even called
You feel a certain sense of synergy between yourself and me
A kind of macabre and somber Wonder-twin kind of harmony
What if it was you?
You that I needed all along
I felt like a fool,
Kicking and screaming and pretending we were wrong
Let's get wrecked on pop tarts and sex and see the Taj Mahal
Let's save birds from Prince William Sound and skateboard through the mall
Let's fight crime with mangoes and limes and join the PGA
Let's win big with every spin but hurry, I can't wait
Do you spend a fortune on those late-night prepaid television scams
In search of the perfect blend of steak knife and non-stick frying pan?
What if it was you?
You that I needed all along
I felt like a fool
Thinking we were completely wrong
It seemed like a dream
A beautiful screen
That echoed forever
And made us not afraid to feel a thing
And after it ends
We'll try to be friends
They say that what doesn't kill us makes us who we are
All this time and everything's changed but I still feel the same
All good things eventually end and get washed down the drain
What a disaster it would be if you discovered that I cared
A little too much for friends but not enough to share
What if it was you?
You that I needed all along
I felt like a fool
Now that I'm sure that I was wrong
It had to be you.
It had to be you.
It had to be you.
I knew it was you.
. . .
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I'm still frustrated from last night
Things happened at half-time, I'm sick of the bends
My panic research was no help
I sink into myself
Afraid of the fall that never ends
I wait, but I'm too tired to play pretend
I suffocate until the end
No time for halfhearted goodbyes,
I turn on the spotlight and flee from the scene
Cheap flights from Paris to Bangkok, I thought it was nonstop
Can't sleep on the KLM again
I haunt the halls of medicine at night
Choking back the urge to fight
Her cat was clawing the floorboards just outside of our door,
The panic begins
I searched the whole damn apartment from ceiling to carpet
No sign of the things she used to own
As autumn turns its back on me again
I climb the walls for oxygen
My body aches, it heaves, it shakes
All summer sounds so caught up
And I still don't know exactly who I am
I never will, amen.
She whispers something in my ear, the message is unclear
She motions outside.
I trail her closely from behind
She tries hard not to cry
She shakes underneath the pouring rain
I can't compete with all your damn ideas
This isn't working out for you and me
The truth is I'm too tired to play pretend
This is goodbye, this is the end.
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Calling all cops and autobots,
I hope that you’re still there
Saving victims from the wreckage
Of our wild affairs, such wild affairs.
Copy all cats and acrobats,
I know you don’t play fair,
Sending sickness through the atmosphere,
Without a care, without a care.
Calling all dolls and concert halls,
The curtain hits the cast,
They parade like perfect ponies,
But it never lasts, it never lasts.
Sever all ties to satellites
That broadcast worthless words
You're extrapolating nonsense
And it really hurts, it really hurts.
When I’m awake,
I make the same mistakes they make.
When I’m awake,
I can’t escape.
When I’m awake,
I make the same mistakes they make.
And everything just falls apart.
Calling all cops and autobots,
I hope that you’re still there,
Saving victims from the wreckage,
Of our wild affairs, such wild affairs.
Suffer all teens and dramamine,
The coast is not yet clear,
Every continent has chaos,
And we need you here, we need you here.
When I’m awake,
I make the same mistakes they make.
When I’m awake,
I can’t escape.
When I’m awake,
I make the same mistakes they make.
And everything just falls apart.
(Calling all cops and autobots)
And everything just falls apart,
(Calling all cops and autobots)
And everything just falls apart.
And everything just falls apart.
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Why can't you finish what you've started?
Why can't you try and understand?
It doesn't make a bit of difference if you start what you can't finish
Every story needs an ending, after all.
I think I've known it for a long time
Suffice to say, it's been a while
You're too afraid to face the outcome
Quite likely, you're a failure
It's a shitty thing to say, but hey man - the clock is ticking
I thought of all the things I'd like to say
Cramped up and couldn't write a word all day
I'm just waiting for my world to fall apart
That's why I'll never finish anything I start
What fills the magic in the meantime?
I know it’s hard without advice,
You need to find a new solution,
Adaptation and retribution,
If you truly do believe in something,
Somehow it all works out.
I thought of all the things I'd like to say
Cramped up and couldn't write a word all day
I'm just waiting for my world to fall apart
That's why I'll never finish anything I start
I'm completely bored
With every single word
And nothing ever works
And this juvenile search
It seems to matter, coolly revealing to me
That I need a new approach
I thought of all the things I'd like to say
Cramped up and couldn't write a word all day
I'm just waiting for my world to fall apart
That's why I'll never finish anything I start
So sick of all the things I'm trying to say
Cramped up and couldn't write a word all day
I'm just waiting for my world to fall apart
That's why I'll never finish anything I...
. . .
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Do you remember how we met?
Silhouetted by the lights...
You were drunk and tried to take a mental picture with your hands
I was thinking about that
And a bunch of other things
Stop looking at the floor...
I need to pour out this expansive dose of words.
I can't explain...
I need to be alone.
I know the timing isn't great
But these things, you just can't plan.
I just need a little time
So I can find myself again
'Cause I get buried underneath
All the things they think you are
And I'm too tired to pretend it doesn't hurt
To be left out
I had a pocket full of dreams
But I gave them all to you
Now I think I want them back
So can you tell me if I'm crazy or confused?
Don't ever change
The way you are
I've never loved anyone more.
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I'll start this broken heart
I'll fix it up so it will work again
Better than before
Then I'll star in a mystery
A tragic tale of all that's yet to come
Fingers crossed there will be love
But I get carried away with every day
And every fantasy
the deeper the wound,
the harder I swoon and wish that that was me
So much to say
But no words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
But I'm getting used to it, you have to get used to it
I'll devise the best disguise
A brand new look and take them by surprise
They'll never guess what's not inside
I'll express myself with ease,
With confidence and character complete
With fingers crossed they'll talk to me
But I get carried away with every page
In every magazine
The cheaper the thrill
the deeper I fill my head with blasphemy
So much to say
But No words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
But I'm getting used to it, you have to get used to it
I'll destroy this useless heart
I'll fuck it up so it'll never beat again
Not just for me but for anyone
But I get carried away
with every phrase and made up malady
The longer I hide behind these lies,
The more I disintegrate
So much to say
But no words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
But I never get used to it, you just have to live with it
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Hello helicopter, are you here to stay?
Bodies rust in motion, fighting night and day
Well it's kill or be killed
And one day we'll get the best of them
Hello helicopter, will you be my friend?
Will you take me away?
Hello helicopter,have you heard the news?
No one gives a shit about the things they do
We all waste and consume, destroy and ruin everything we touch
It's easy not to think when you're not told that much
I'm not saying anything you haven't heard before
I'm just trying to understand the way we are
Hello helicopter, are you lost out there?
Swimming through the garbage dump that fills the air
In several more years no one will care
They'll be rich and dead
So let somebody else devise a cure for it
I'm not saying anything you haven't heard before
I'm just trying to understand the way we are
Nobody seems to care
Nobody ever learns
Hello helicopter, are you here to stay?
Bodies rust in motion, fighting night and day
Well it's kill or be killed
And one day we'll get the best of them
Hello helicopter, are you listening?
Nobody seems to care
Nobody ever learns
Are we ever going to get it right?
Are we ever going to start making sense
And stop pretending that we care?
Are we ever going to get it right?
Are we ever going to start making sense
And stop pretending that we care?
Are we ever going to get it right?
Are we ever going to start making sense
And stop pretending...
Hello helicopter, are you here to stay?
Bodies rust in motion, fighting night and day
Well it's kill or be killed
And one day we'll get the best of them
Hello helicopter, are you listening?
. . .
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Hello there how you doing
I've got all these thoughts just floating through my brain
They bump and they collide and cause a flurry of confusion
And it's getting on my nerves
I try to hold myself together
fighting off this mental weather when I can
But this shit storm's never ending
And the atmospheric pressure is calling for rain
This is what I've got going on
This is where I belong tonight
It's chaos in the courthouse
And the last idol have set
Because the right side wants his summer home
and knows we can't afford it
I try to mediate between
This constant tug of war machine
Wind up in a never ending game of telephone
There's so much going on
And I just need seven minutes to calm myself back down
Now I forgot where I was
Was it me we were talking about?
This is what I feared from the start
I keep falling apart
What's going on, is this where I belong at night?
What's going on tonight
What's going on, is this where I belong at night?
What's going on (can't stand)
I can't stand the thought of losing
Attention seizes every eye in the world
I can't stand the thought of losing
Everything I ever thought I that I knew
This is where I run out of words
That describe how I'm do damn witty
This is where I fumble and fold
And take what I'm told
What's going on, is this where I belong at night?
What's going on tonight
What's going on, is this where I belong at night?
What's going on tonight
What's going on, is this where I belong at night?
What's going on tonight
I can't stand the thought of losing
Attention seizes every eye in the world
I can't stand the thought of losing
Everything I ever thought I that I knew
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Are you listening?
I believe it all,
Every corner and the coast is still clear,
All dressed up with some medicine for luck
How I hope that you're still here,
When I return.
Burning bridges is a form of suicide,
I saw the fire as a ghost in my life,
Passed me by and there is nowhere you can hide,
From the lessons or the lies you'll find out.
I'm so tired,
I've had enough.
If there is one thing I've learned,
You’ll always get burned
But you’ll never get enough.
Can we count on our conversations,
To restore what’s been ?counted on? you?
Leave one wish to a permanent kiss,
That would echo through these bones like arsenic.
I can figure out the point of anything,
Just not as quick as I can mess up my life.
With all my dreams hooked to hospital machines,
That can ?masquerade? and find it beautiful.
I'm so tired,
I've had enough.
If there's one thing I've learned,
You’ll always get burned
But you’ll never get enough.
This is the best that it will get.
(yeah, yeah, yeah, give it up, give it up).
This is the best that it will get.
(yeah, yeah, give it up).
I can figure out the point of anything,
I can figure out the point of anything,
I can figure out the point of anything,
I can figure out the point of anything,
I can figure out the point of anything,
I can figure out the point of it.
I'm so tired,
I've had enough.
If there is one thing I've learned,
You’ll always get burned
But you’ll never get enough.
I'm so tired,
I've had enough.
If there is one thing I've learned,
You’ll always get burned
But you’ll never get enough.
. . .
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She paints a lot of abstract art
She haggles for the cheapest price
She never orders take out food before ten o'clock at night
She really into snowmobiles
She owns a lot of nice flashlights
She cares for all the stupid cats that never found their way home
She shaves her legs with Ginsu knives
She quotes a lot of Annie Hall
She misplaced her virginity back in 1995
She's whats keeping me alive
She the pizza of my eye
Without her near me I would not survive
It gets cold when she's not around
I float until I sink and swallow
It's get cold when she's not around
I wait for her to come home and tell me I'll be fine
She's always eating Captain Crunch
She sings a lot of Ben Folds Five
She's scared to death of cobra snakes
Just like Indiana Jones
She tells the dumbest knock-knock jokes
She drinks a lot of Chardonnay
She hates the way I comb my hair
But she never knew last June
She was the bright I was a boom
I cried a lot and then whispered
Without her in my life I would be doomed
It gets cold when she's not around
I float until I sink and swallow
It's get cold when she's not around
I wait for her to come home and tell me I'll be fine
Tell me I'll be fine
She loves the smell of Christmas trees
She sneezes when she sees bright lights
She fainted on the kitchen floor
When her father passed away
Our baby girl introduced me
And when the little lady grows up
I hope that she'll be just like he mother
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I’ve got a lotta things to do tonight
I’m so sick of making lists
Of things I’ll never finish
I’ve lived here for the last 12 years
Since early 1995 all my shit has been in boxes
But if I had a little more time to kill
I’d settle every little stupid thing
Yeah you’d think that I would
But I’m too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I’m too weak to follow dreams tonight
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try to get better and
Overcome each moment
In my own way
I wonder if I’ll ever lose my mind
I tried hard for awhile
But then I kind of gave up
Winter is killer when the sun goes down
I’m really not as stubborn as I seem
Said the knuckle to the concrete
But I’m too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I’m too weak to follow dreams tonight
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try to get better and
Overcome each moment
In my own way
I’m not saying that I’m giving up
I’m just trying not to think
As much as I used to
Cause never is a lonely little messed up word
Maybe I’ll get it right some day
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try
I feel helpless for the most part
But I’m learning to open my eyes
And the sad truth of the matter is
I’ll never get over it
But I’m gonna try
To get better and overcome each moment
In my own way
I sure want to get back on track
And I’ll do whatever it takes
Even if it kills me
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