Matt Nathanson Album

I am held together by clothes pins and tension,
a wealth of odds and ends
I'm dazzling like the neon street sign
hiccuping off and on again all night long
I've got magazine friends
and enough jealousy to lose them all
But I know this has all been said before
I shed what escape my fiction provided
I lived a lifetime inside of my shelter
and thought it about time to see outside
And I believed it was easy,
stupidly thought I could just get up and walk away
I've got illness hugging me like skin
and I'll shed it clean until I can taste the oxygen.

I've spent more than my share on temptation
trying to cool my swollen tongue
Gorged myself on all that free good will
and left the others none
What I wear like church clothes,
you wear just like jewelry
All the simple things you revel in,
they just suffocate me
And I don't know anymore,
wish someone would tell me who to be
Because I'm ready, I'm ready to try anything
I'm dazzled by glamour and camera angles,
the drama and swagger of fools
sacrificed beauty once to chase after their parade
and spent my morning after
crawling back to you
I want to be brand new, I want to trade in these wings
Mine don't work like yours do

I remember crowds
where you stand alone right now
I remember celebrations
But now my reign has run
all the color from
all my decorations
And I'm fine; I'm just a little lonely
So can I ride on your back for a time?
Oh, the seasons change
so quickly these days
And while the rest in their new coats and new hats
shiver in their beds
You stand outside
and watch the clouds go by
in the same clothes that I met you in

I recall your kisses and they tasted just like medicine
I put all the pieces back together in my head
Seems so obvious now how fragile a thing we had
And all the leaves were on the ground that fall, the leaves were all around
And you fed me stories and you polished up your bruises until they shined
It kind of made me wish that I had a bruise so fine
I've watched you twice rebuild your life, why don't you wait up for me
I stumble, why don't you wait up for me
With your childs smile and your innocence
I'd buy you bows and ribbons, the prettiest bows and ribbons
I made you like a queen with all the gifts I'd given
You're a debutante and all you've got is a head full of someone else's thoughts.

You're smiling but I sense fear when you say, abandon ship and there's land near
And the water is deep around my knees, but still I don't believe.
At another time I would have followed you anywhere, but not now
You said I was a shackle to you, well you always say the most violent things, mydear.
You're smiling as you climb into another idea of what it means to be you
And I'm supposed to follow and I'm not supposed to mind that you keep leaving mebehind.
You said that I was a shackle to you well you always say the vilest things, mydear.

They built a hero out of expectations
and what a hopeless hero was he
with sticks for legs he shook when the wind blew,
even slightly
and he welcomed the smiles, he welcomed the applause
and he hoped that they'd never forget
just who they thought he was
they dressed him up in rich man's clothes
and told him he was beautiful
then they expected miracles
His parents were pleased they went to all the parties
he was groomed for greatness from the time he was young
raised on a diet of television
he was taught to listen, kept dumb
and he welcomed desire and reckless luxury
and the world soaked up every drop of drama and insecurity
they dressed him up in rich man's clothes
and told him he was beautiful
then they expected miracles
and then one day his admirers just quit him
they packed up their paint and were gone
and he stood alone,
their beautiful disaster,
wondering were he'd gone wrong
and he wanted the smiles and he wanted the applause
but no one would look him in the eye now,
no one returned his calls
they dressed him up in rich man's clothes
and told him he was beautiful
then they expected miracles

Am I pretty enough for you now that my ribs show through?
With a little makeup I can look brand new, but can I be pretty
enough for you?
Fill me with secrets and I'll never tell
fatten me up, and I'll feed you well
you can polish me perfectly and I'll shine pristine
but not even a cherub is this clean
Am I all that you d hoped that I would be, hanging on
obediently
to the words that I'm finding so hard to believe?
Am I all that you d hoped that I would be?
Why don't you just stop me if I'm sounding ungrateful
Why don't you stop me if I'm coming on a bit too strong.

She said "come along with me,
I've got offerings for you my sweet, sweet boy"
she promised warmth too, but I knew better
her words broke hot against my neck
and tasting the sweet, sweet numb of regret on my lips
I filled my pockets and closed the door
and I tasted all I'd left behind,
then shameful I crawled naked
Searching for somewhere to hide
And in the end she said it was memorable and comfortable
but funny, I wouldn't have used those words
the secrecy and her bed, it was choking me with a knot in my gut
you have beautiful empty eyes, I'm sure of that much
Oh princess open your eyes and close your mouth
else all that spite you swallow willingly , it just might fall out
and I've seen you smile wide, I've seen you at your best
and it left me feeling sick inside and unimpressed
and I tasted all I'd left behind, but shameful I crawled naked
Searching for somewhere to hide

Well, it's late at night.
There's nobody around.
Just the sounds of the cars
Upon the asphalt ground.
It's the waiting time,
When the hours grow still.
I gaze on through the glass
Inside my windowsill.
Though I know that you must be
Somewhere in this world,
In this place where, at birth,
You and I were both hurled,
To think that we once were relating
Is a thing that has almost grown foreign to me.

It's a bad sight,
Such a terrible waste,
To spend your time talking
In such bad taste.
It's the same old line,
Though it's not you I blame.
It's your teachers and television
That you put to shame.
The night's lasting longer
Because I've filled my head
With the things I could have done
And the words I could have said.
But, in truth, I was only spectating
And that's a permanent part of reality.

So many rude lines,
So many petty crimes
And you don't feel a need
To apologize.
Tonight is the time
That you stick in my mind,
But from now on I won't become
Vandalized.

Now the room's started filling
With the dawn's early light
And the end has arrived
Of this long night.
I turn off the television
And I hit the bed
While your shade is still haunting
My ever-vulnerable head.
And there's no use
In trying to compromise
When the kindest things we say
But it's time I should quit my complaining
And behave with a little more dignity.

So many rude lines,
So many petty crimes
And you don't feel a need
To apologize.
Tonight is the time
That you stick in my mind,
But from now on I won't become
Vandalized.

when the leaves have changed,
when the world around you starts to grow deranged,
the faces that you see are looking strange,
and your principles have all been rearranged,
when only tears remain,
in the residue the ruins of your brain.
start looking for a way you can explain,
though the reasons should've made themselves quite plain.
and then you'll think of me,
in the moment when we'd almost broken free.
your mind will start its drifting wistfully,
to the corner of your heart nobody sees.