Mary Gauthier Album

In the darkness it finds me
the terrible fire
it don't matter how much I pray
The flames leap and burn me
There's nothing I can do
To make the fear go away
I try to keep moving

Try not to look back
Push really hard on the stone
But I walk through the fire alone

The tree by my window
Turns gray in November
I watch the leaves as they fall
The branches left naked
Reach up so proudly
I wish to Cod you would call
But me I'm the dead one
You are the lover
Who loved me right down to my bones
Now I walk through the fire alone

The powers that push me
They move me they own me
They constantly tell me to run
I try not to listen
I try to fight them
But never a battle I've won
So let go of lovers
I let go of diamonds
I've plenty of sins to atone
While I walk through the fire alone

Hold onto your children
Hold onto your mama
Hold onto the ones that you love
Hold onto your heart
Hold onto your visions
Hold onto what you're dreaming of
If there's something missing
Or if you're hiding from
Someone you long to have known
Then you'll walk thru the fire
Walk through the fire

(Mary Gauthier)

I felt the flames on my face
When I found the nerve to meet your eyes, so green
I stumbled towards your elegance
I tumbled, wide awake into a dream

And there you stood, so beautiful
Destiny seduces, after all
I fell into the fire
That's a long way to fall

You gave me strength to speak
When my voice was weak and words were hard to find
Your faith in me was solid and
it stood me up when I couldn't steady mine
All those times I cried at night
You promised me it'd be all right
You held me while my demons danced and crawled
I fell into your open arms
That's a long way to fall

A long way to fall
A long way to fall

I never should have drifted
I never should have left you all alone
I don't know what comes over me
Looks like I'll always be
the troubled kid that runs away from home
I reached for you the other night
You rolled away and moved against the wall
I fell into the space between us
That's a long way to fall

A long way to fall
A long way to fall

I got no one to hold on to and
I'm sinking slowly to my knees
I might learn to pray down here
or maybe I'll beg you baby, please
But you stare at me with marble eyes
And I don't think I've ever felt this small
I've fallen out of your good graces
That's a long way to fall

A long way to fall, A long way to fall

(Mary Gauthier/Catie Curtis)

Mama said she don't give a damn what those people say
Cane smoke can't be good for you day after day
Every year at harvest time when the black smoke filled the sky
Shed pick me up and take me home and make me stay inside

From Thibodaux to Raceland there's fire in the fields
All the way up the bayou from Lafourche to Iberville
Dirty air, dirty laundry, dirty money, dirty rain
A dirty dark at daybreak burning the sugar cane

Christmas on the bayou, midnight come and gone
Driving past the sugar mill and all the lights are on
The parking lot is full of trucks I can see the furnace glow
Everybody's working overtime, it's a good job, even though

From Thibodaux to Raceland there's fire in the fields
All the way up the bayou from Lafourche to Iberville
Dirty air, dirty laundry, dirty money, dirty rain
A dirty dark at daybreak burning the sugar cane

First came the sugar cane, then came Thibodaux
Cane sugar built this town, cane sugar paved these roads
They burn the leaves to harvest cash, money for the company
Money makes the world go round, money, money, money

From Thibodaux to Raceland there's fire in the fields
All the way up the bayou from Lafourche to Iberville
Dirty air, dirty laundry, dirty money, dirty rain
A dirty dark at daybreak burning, burning

The soot and ash are falling like a dark and deadly snow
The air is full of poison to the Gulf of Mexico
Dirty air, dirty laundry dirty money dirty rain

(Mary Gauthier/Crit Harmon)

From the painful rays of daybreak
Ripping darkness out your eyes
To every kiss with bourbon breath
your daddy didn't hide, he didn't hide

From the crack of his backhand slap
To your mama's blue veined hands
That held her rosary desperately
Cause she didn't understand
From the brokenhearted playground
in the lonely afternoon
To the violence of little boys
And the crying in your bedroom

Till the wind blows right through you and rain don't get you wet
Till your lips move constantly but you ain't said nothing yet
Till you ride that horse in circles going up and coming down
Round and round, it's a merry go round

From the bitter tears of helplessness
Falling from your grandma's face
As they strap you to the stretcher
While she quickly packs your suitcase
From the money that you stole from her
on the day she died
To the long lines at the clinic
Waiting for a days supply, a days supply

Till the wind blows right through you and rain don't get you wet
Till your lips move constantly but you ain't said nothing yet
Till you ride that horse in circles going up and coming down
Round and round, it's a merry go round

From the phone booth on the freeway
When there's no one left to call
To the porcelain Cod you pray to
In the public restroom stall
From the milky white of heroin
as it bubbles and it sooths
To the dirty sheets you lie on

(Mary Gauthier)

Born a bastard child in New Orleans
to a woman I've never seen
I don't know if she ever held me
All I know is that she let go of me

I passed thru like thunder
I passed thru like rain
Passed out from under
Good-bye could have been my family name

Every time I settle down it happens
I get a restless feeling I can't control
I hit the wall, then I hit the highway
I've got the curse of a gypsy on my soul

So I move thru like thunder
I move through like rain
Moving out from under
Good-bye could have been my family name

I can't break free of the winds that blow me
They roll in like a Gulf Coast Hurricane
I'd love to stay now but I don't know how
Hold me honey till I'm gone again

When it's time to leave forever
I pray the Lord don't take me slow.
I don't know where I'm going
I just wanna say good-bye and go

And I'll move thru like thunder
Push thru like rain
Pushing out from under

(Mary Gauthier/Keri Powers)

He's lying on the double bed acting self-assured
In his T-shirt ana his underwear he's barely said a word
She pours a cup of coffee lights the day's first cigarette
Picks up the phone and call her kids from the motel kitchenette

There's two guys moving slowly in the room across the hall
Both their heads are pounding from last night's alcohol
They met in a chat room then they took it here
They both go by pseudonyms and soon they'll disappear

Cheaters, liars, outlaws, and fallen angels
Come looking for the grace from which they fell
They hold on to each other in the darkness
The morning light is hell at the Camelot Motel

He met her at the pool hall the guys told him she was touched
Now she's ranting and she's raving about the Devil, Christ and such
He's thinking about the highway and the way she begged last night
He's wishing he had blown this dump before the morning light

Cheaters, liars, outlaws, and fallen angels Come
looking for the grace from which they fell
They hold on to each other in the darkness
The morning light is hell at the Camelot Motel

Lancelot and Guenivere bang their bedpost in my ear
Neon lights the castle walls bug lights in the entry halls
I lie awake with a troubled mind thinking 'bout what I left behind
Me and the royal denizens got damn good reasons for our sins

There's a couple counting money in room 124
They're wrapping 10's and 20's throwing 1's down on the floor
They're strung out and nervous, they jump at every little sound
He keeps picking up his pistol then putting his pistol down

Cheaters, liars, outlaws, and fallen angels
Come looking for the grace
from which they fell
They hold on to each other
in the darkness
The morning light is hell

(Mary Gauthier/Crit Harmon)

You're crying cause I'm not crying
You're crying while I sit here looking strong
You're sad 'cause I don't feel the pain you're feeling
But my turn's coming after you're gone

You're angry for the good years you wasted
You're angry 'cause you watched me turn to stone
But soon the walls I've built will start to crumble
My turn's coming after you're gone

After you're gone I'm gonna miss you
After you're gone I'll call your name
As soon as I can't I'll want to kiss you
That's when I'll realize we'll never kiss again

After you're gone I'll fall to pieces
After you're gone it's me I'll blame
I'll think of all kindness you've shown me
And I'll hate myself, cause I never change

And I'll be crying when you stop crying
Crying, when you sit there looking strong
I'll be sad 'cause you won't feel the pain I'm feeling
My turn's coming after you're gone

(Mary Gauthier)

Under water, under the well
Under glass, under a ground swell
Chasing bliss, chasing my tail
Chasing desire, straight down to hell
I couldn't love, could not forgive
Didn't know how to live and let live
My choices were few
On the ledge, looking up at you

Over drawn, over fed,
Over run, over my head
I held a grudge, I held a gun,
Held contempt for everyone
I couldn't cry, I couldn't learn
I didn't flinch when bridges burned
I was tost, through and through
On the ledge, looking up at you.

I lived alone, I lived In rage
I lived in darkness inside a cage
On the fringe, a refugee
I couldn't trace it back to me
I grew mean, I grew small
I grew tired of it all
I couldn't tell false from true
On the ledge, looking up at you.

Out of luck, out of time
Out of control, out of my mind
Running scared, running down
Running low to the ground
The blows were hard, the blows were mean
The blows were low, the hits were clean
I was left black and blue

(Mary Gauthier/Crit Harmon)

Davey stole a Christmas tree from K-Mart last night
red ribbons and silver bells, angels dressed in white
He tied, it to the bridge rail so passing cars would see
He danced a little dance up there, looked down and smiled at me

My bed is a lawn chair, cushions keep it soft
I sleep in the open air, under the Southern Cross
Next to the golf course by the Hyatt Hotel
Davey is a friend of mine and we get along pretty well

Christmas in paradise under the Cow Key Bridge
Where the warm breeze blows so nice
And the landlord forgives

Snowbirds on the golf course wear Bermuda shorts and polo shirts
Some play pretty good some so bad it hurts
We pick up their golf balls that fly over the fence
Shine 'em up a little bit and sell 'em back for fifty cents

Christmas in paradise under the Cow Key Bridge
Where the warm breeze blows so nice
And the landlord forgives

I won't lie, we just get by but we'll be eating good tonight
Christmas dinner at 5 o'clock over at the Church of Life
They don't care who you are and they don't ask what you done
Come on down and bring a friend there's plenty for everyone

Christmas in paradise under the Cow Key Bridge
Where the warm breeze blows so nice
And the landlord forgives
The radio plays Christmas songs while we get high
Davey shouts Merry Christmas y'all
to the cars passing by
Davey shouts Merry Christmas y'all

(Jonathan Pointer)

A warm wind blows
Across my windowsill tonight
Like a ghost, like a ghost
Soft and low
In this other- worldly light
I dream of Rose

Common time
Never ceases, never yields
It comes and it goes
Now I find
I lost the pavement 'neath my wheels
When I lost Rose

Should anybody wonder where I'm bound
I don't know
I come and I go
Wreckage looks the same from town to town
I suppose
It wasn't meant to be this way
For Rose

Soldier on
What's left is not what I planned
It's what I chose, What I chose
And the sun
Up and slipped right thru my hands
When I lost Rose

Should anybody wonder where I'm bound
I don't know
I come and I go
Wreckage looks the same from town to town
I suppose
It wasn't meant to be this way

(Mary Gauthier)

We lie here and we lie here
Awaiting the return
Of the passion that has left us
With the patience we've learned
Sinking in the ashes
Of the red night's final swing
The sun fades the color of everything

We lie here and we lie here
Without much to say
In our silent sanctuary
We call it a day
Seasons change quietly
Winter whispers Spring
The sun fades the color of everything

Me and you, we wait it out
It might be 'round the bend
Every time we think it's gone
It comes back again
We hold on to each other
But to our faith we cling
The sun fades the color of everything

We lie here and we lie here
Waiting for a sign
You follow yours
And I follow mine
Sleeping with our backs turned
Floating off on polished wings
The sun fades the color of everything

Me and you, we wait it out
It might be 'round the bend
Every time we think it's gone
It comes back again
We hold on to each other
But to our faith we cling