The worst thing in the world Is finding blood on your toilet paper The worst thing in the world Is getting a hard-on when you're round your Nan's This must be the worst thing in the world As bad as crashing out round your best mate's house Then waking up with him sucking your cock The worst thing in the world Is finding out you're related to Ian Huntley The worst thing in the world Is catching your cock in your zip This must be the worst thing in the world As bad as falling asleep during 'Match of the Day' Or going for a swim in Barrymore's pool This must be the worst thing in the world As bad as trying to explain in casualty How a banana in a johnny got stuck up your arse This must be the worst thing in the world As bad as going down on Lisa Riley Or walking in on Jay Cox rooting your Mum