Jimmy Buffett Album

By Jimmy Buffett

Narrator
Kinja was the name of the island when it was British. The actual name was King
George The Third Island, but the islanders shortened that to Kinja. Now the name
in the maps and the guidebooks is Amerigo, but everybody who still lives there
still calls it Kinja. The United States acquired the island peaceably in 1940 as
part of the shuffling of old destroyers and Caribbean real estate that went on
between Mr. Roosevelt and Mr. Churchill. The details of the transaction were and
are vague to the inhabitants. The West Indian is not exactly hostile to change,
but he's not much inclined to believe in it. Meantime in a fashion Amerigo is
getting Americanized. The inflow of cash is making everyone more prosperous.
Most Kinjans go along cheerily with this explosion of American energy in the
Caribbean. To them it seems like a new harmless and apparently endless Carnival.

Sanders
Have you ever dreamed of escaping from your dull existence to a new life on a
tropical island? Our story is about a man who did it - a real person, whose true
adventure has become a legend here in the Caribbean. Welcome one and all to THE
LEGEND OF NORMAN PAPERMAN.

Ensemble
Dis is the legend of Norman Papuhman
Tale from the islands we'll share
Chasin illusions can get quite confusin'
Is it a dream or a nightmare

Women
Dis is the legend of Norman Papuhman
Tale from the islands we'll tell

Men
Chasin illusions can get quite confusin'
Cause heaven can turn into hell.

Sanders [Sings]
Kinja's the name of the island
It's been Kinja for over two hundred years
But remember paradise
Doesn't come without a price
Let me make that abundantly clear
Kinja, our beautiful island
In a windward archipeligo
We've been English, French and Dutch
Never seemed to matter much
Now we're officially Amerigo

Ensemble
We're Kinja
Still Kinja
Our Kinja

Sanders
(Sheila, chef at the Gull Reef Club)

Sheila
Our ancestors came in the slave ships
To work for the privileged few
Who wore Paris fashions
and lived in pink mansions
While we huddled in shacks of bamboo

Den da sugar beet bring us our freedom
With the help of our God we got through
Insurrection, beheadin's, funerals and weddin's
Hurricanes and a World War or Two

Chorus
Hurricanes and a World War or Two
We're Kinja
Still Kinja
Our Kinja

We're Kinja
Still Kinja
Our Kinja

Sanders
(Gilbert, gondolier of the Gull Reef Club)

Gilbert
Mr. Churchill had to get some destroyers
To put old hitler six feet below
FDR he pulled a nifty
Got our island for just fifty
And do limeys dey pack up and go

We dance through the streets in celebration
Da fireworks dey light up da sky
We got hotdogs and highways
Got Fords and Chevrolets
Not to mention the Forth of July

Ensemble
Not to mention the Forth of July
We're Kinja
Still Kinja
Our Kinja

We're Kinja
Still Kinja
Our Kinja

Sanders
(Senator Pullman, the island's big enchilada)

Senator Pullman
Now the Yankees, they come wid der dollars
It's a beehive of activity
Sell dem crawfish and rum
Keep dem dizzy and numb
Oh we're liken' this prosperity

We got new holidays for celebration
We got new laws, but no one complies
We got crawfish and mangos
Calypso and tangos
Ahhh, but we short on our watah supply

Ensemble
Mighty short on our watah supply

We got the Carnival
We love the Carnival
The Kinja Carnival
Carnival

We got the Carnival
Don't Stop The Carnival
We love the Carnival

And our story begins

Dis is da legend of Norman Papuhman
Tale from de tropics we'll tell
Chasin illusions can get quite confusin'
Cause heaven can turn into hell!

Spoken:
I was born on an island
The island of Manhatten
Dreamt all my life of a career on the
Great White way
Producer Norman Paperman
Director Norman Paperman
And I made it!
In sort of an off the wall way I found my
Calling-Listen

Singing:
Up every morning, out every evening
Hustling for headlines, that's what I do
Table at Sardi's, grappling for gossip
Working the press for a mention or two
[Paperman Cont.] I never acted like some nervous rookie
Right form the start I was hot as a cookie
I was a numero uno
What a debut

Chorus:
Public Relations, Public Relations
Boozing and schmoozing, that's what I do
PR's my vocation
And I'm a sensation
Public relations
Such hullabaloo

But I went full throttle
Never could slow down
Then out of nowhere a mild heart attack
Middle age crisis
Face the big questions
Had to get off of this foolish fast track
It all started out
As an add in the paper
Now it's turned into
A tropical caper
But it's only public relations
And thats what I do

Chorus:
Public Relations, Public Relations
Ego inflation, that's what I do
Isn't it wonderful, isn't it fabulou
Public Relations, such hullabaloo

Iris:
Give this some thought Norman
Things can get sticky
Here in the tropics
Wine turns to glue

Norman:
I've never seen such a beauitful ocean

Iris:
Holy sweet Jeues, he's got no clue

Norman:
I'll buy this place
I am expatriating

Iris:
You as a landlord
Sounds intoxicating

Both:
It's only Public Relations
Who's screwing who

Chorus:
No, not that old PR
Of the yacking and quacking
Making folks happy
That's what I'll do
Sun shine and sea air
Palm trees, martinis
That's what I yearn for--like you, you, and you
Just give me some time

Chorus:
Calaloo, Strange Calaloo
Mysterious curious roux
Try as you might to avoid the hoodoo
Sooner or later we're all in the stew

From here in my kitchen
I watch the whole seen
Life on dis island 's
A unique cuisine
It simmers and bubbles
And looks quite routine
Till somebody spill all da beans

Chorus:
Calaloo, Strange Calaloo
Mysterious curious roux
Try as you might to avoid the hoodoo
Sooner or later we're all in the stew

Night after night
On dat terrace out der
Plays a melodrama
Could equal Shakesphere
Dey may tell theirself
Dat somehow dey are not
Best take it from me,
We're all in the same pot

Chorus:
Calaloo, Strange Calaloo
Mysterious curious roux
Try as you might to avoid the hoodoo
Sooner or later we're all in the stew

Bridge:
Hey Hey Sheila, Hey Hey Sheila
Hey Hey Sheila, what's in dat calaloo
Hey Sheila tell us, Hey Sheila tell us
Hey Hey Sheila, What's in that calaloo

We got Crab and pig tell
Squid ink and fish scale
Okra and dasheen leaves
Chitchat and chatter
Fill up the platter
With a garnish of pure make believe

Chorus:
Calaloo, Strange Calaloo
Mysterious and curious roux
Though some might think somehow they are not
Make no mistake we're all in the same pot

Island Fever
I think I've got a touch of island fever
I do believe I feel a bit sauteed
This morning I was just some nonbeliever
Tonight I feel I've joing a wild crusade

I never thought of life as being breezy
I never thought of time as time to play
I never thought that I could take it easy
But all those feelings changed for me today

Layers and layers of spices and flavors
Are finding their way to my brain
Layers and layers of costumes and players
That make my whole life look insane

Palm trees and views I can't believe
Why would I ever want to leave?
I think I'll take my shoes off and go walking
Down beside the Caribbean Sea.
I like the funny sounds of parrots squawking
I think I hear a hammock calling me.

Layers and layers of spices and flavors
Could this be some kind of charade?
Layers and layers of costumes and players
I think I will join the parade

Layers and layers of spices and flavors
Could this be some kind of charade?
Layers and layers of costumes and players

I think I will join the parade

Shelia says the heart is just a muscle
Shelia says the heart is cooled by time
Hiding out for years down in these trade winds
In the land of coconuts and limes

Chorus:
I've played this game for too long
My life's just one same old song
Now marooned for a time on this island
I go into and out of the fog
And that's why I live with my dog

Instrumental Bridge

Men oh, men oh, oh men I've known to many
Deceivers cloaked in clumsy vanity
What men lack in love and understanding
They make up in stupidity

Chorus:
But now and then one comes along
And lights up my world like a song
I am tempted to unleash my interest
Yet I put it to you man's best friend
There's just one sad old way it can end

Bridge:
We have our faults
But men have only two
All that they say
All that they do
You're a joy and a friend and a guardian
Never bored with my sad monologue
You're better off with a dog
Sheila says the heart's just a muscle

I'm just an old truth teller
I'm your candid friend
I'm not some daydream seller
I do not pretend
I've a sense of survival
And screwing my rivals
That's labeled me crossed and uncouth
But I can't help it I just tell the truth
He can't help it, he just tells the truth

I'm just an old truth teller
Brutally direct
I see it eye for eye
I'm rarely incorrect
Why call me a sharp trader
A corporate raider
I'm a role model for today's youth
It's so simple, I just tell the truth
He can't help it, he just tells the truth

Bridge:

Why was I born to be right all the time
In deal after deal after deal
Foiling those sharks that are circling my penthouse
Hoping to make a meal

No good deed goes unpunished
Nothing goes as planed
My ingrate family left me
I don't understand

Where's your wife?
In Alaska
Any sons?
In Nebraska
And my daughter milks cows in Duluth
I can't help it, I just tell the truth
Ohh he can't help it, he just sells it
he can't help, he just tells it

I find myself between two worlds
Bewildered all to hell
Up north I have my mid-town life
Down here my new hotel
What kind of a dream is this
Ion't know where I will land
It's a Caribbean fairy tale
The snow has turned to sand

Chorus:
But he's happy
I understand
And thats the key
To my man

Bridge:
I'd like to have a clearer view
And listen to my hunches
Without the rum-lined Kinjan fog
Of a thousand planter's Punches
Iguess I'll have to let it go
And simply tag along
Just let myself get all caught up
Forget what's right or wrong
What kind of dream is this
That's causing me this strife
My husband's chasing windmills
And I'm still the nervous wife

Chorus:
Cause he's happy
And he's my man
What good's this key in my hand
Oh he's happy
I understand
And that's the key

Lorna
Mista Paper, Senator Pullman he just call.
He ask how come ya don need no watah

Norman
Don't need water!

Lorna
Well, you let the barge go by
He comin' to talk to you

Norman
Who is Senator Pullman anyway?
Why do I have to signal the barge?

Iris
Welcome to the Caribbean, put on a shirt at least.
The big enchilada is on his way

Senator Pullman
Mr. Norman Paperman, I presume?
Joinin' us in Kinja for de tourist boom?

Norman
Norman Paperman at your service.
Meeting the kingpin, I'm slightly nervous

Pullman
Mr. Paperman, I here to be your friend
But there's just certain rules here we can not bend

Paperman How about the water? My cistern's flat.

Pullman
Why sure, I come to take care of dat

Chorus
BUT You gotta play by Kinja rules
Forget about da tings you learned in school
We use a different box of tools
And you gotta play by Kinja rules

Pullman
Now dis alien ain't bonded for no gondolier
He's bonded for GARDENER-dat why he here
De Chief of Immigration a power in dis town
Chief find out-your hotel close down

Paperman
Hereafter gardening's all he'll do I didn't know, I swear to you

Pullman
Doan' hoross yourself, it's okay mister
De Chief of Immigration-she's my sister

Chorus
BUT You gotta play by Kinja rules
Forget about that civics course you learned in school
We ain't city folks, but we ain't fools
And you gotta play by Kinja rules

Pullman
Stop!

Paperman
How about my water?

Pullman
Hold you hosses I come to dat
Look at da chambermaid, she mighty fat
And if dat alien have her baby here
Dat baby an AMERICAN, free and clear
De Secretary of Interior, he gonna rave
And dat baby on your record
From da cradle to da grave
Your responsibility-I doan mean maybe
Da bottom line sir, dat YOUR BABY

Chorus
You gotta play by Kinja rules
Forget about da tings you learned in school
We use a simple box of tools
And you gotta play by Kinja rules

Paperman
I'll send her away-but this club's bone dry

Pullman
No problem, lots of watah you can buy

Paperman
Buy water, Senator?
That's your advice?

Pullman
Chief of Public Works give you a special price

Paperman
Chief of public works
Who's he-your brother?

Pullman
Ha ha, not bad she's Lorna's mother

Chorus
SO You gotta play by Kinja rules
Forget about da tings you learned in school
We use a different box of tools
And you gotta play by Kinja rules

Paperman
Senator, I thank you.
Now one thing's clear
I've got to hire a Kinjan gondolier

Pullman
Now dat a problem-

Paperman
What's the reason

Pullman
No unemployment-it's high season
Can't hire no Kinjan to wear dis hat

Paperman
And I can't use an alien?

Pullman
Don't ask dat

Paperman
You've been a great help, sir-you've got my vote
Just tell me-who's going to row that boat?

Pullman
YOU gotta play by Kinja rules
Forget about da tings you learned in school
Just take it easy, play it cool
But be sure to

Paperman joins Pullman

Play by Kinja rules

Extra Chorus
You gotta play by Kinja rules
Forget about that civics course you learned in school
God watches out for drunks and fools
But forget the Ten Commandments here
Kinja rules
Kinja rules
Kinja rules
Kinja rules

Pullman

Iris
A thousand steps

Paperman
Obviously

Iris
The Jewish cemetery

Paperman
It may come in handy

Iris
Let me get him. Your heart

Paperman
Stay here
A thousand steps to nowhere
That is all I see
This night is asking questions
Where and what for me
A thousand miles from Henny
Who warned me from the start
I feel foolhardy, I miss Sardi's
Thought I was so smart

Chorus
Down is up, up is down
That's just life in Kinja town
The natives and the castaways
That's just life for me these days

Henny
I've had it with this weather
My skin is pale as bleach
I'm heading back to Kinja
And stretch out on the beach
My past is in these boxes
All clean and neatly packed
No time for sorrow, I leave tomorrow
There's no turning back
No turning back, I'm island bound
I want to turn from white to brown
Sing and dance to calypso songs
Trade in this mink for a pink sarong

Iris
I really do admire him
And what he's taking on
This island and these crazies
But I fear he'll soon be gone
Can't let myself fall for him
A terrible mistake
He's got Henny, I'm one too many
This time my heart could break

Chorus
A thousand steps to nowhere
That is all I see

Paperman
My heart is pounding madly

Iris
Mine too, won't let me be
A thousand reasons not to

Paperman
Strange but oh so true
I'm behaving

Iris
You're not past saving
A thing we both should do

Henny
Cause he's happy

Duet
Down is up, up is down

Henny
I understand

Duet
That's just life in Kinja town

Henny
Cause he's my man

Duet
The natives and the castaways
That's just life for us these days

Henny
Cause he's happy

Duet
Down is up, up is down

Henny
I understand

Duet
That's just life in Kinja town

Henny
Cause he's my man

Duet
The natives and the castaways

Ensemble
That's just life for us these days
That's just life for us these days

Paperman

Sheila
Watah in de kitchen!

Church
Water in the bar!

Ensemble
It's all about da water, don't you know
Kinja needs da water, da H2O
It's all about da water, it ain't no lie
Widout de water we shrivel up and die

Sheila
De main cistern go down to zero
De new bossman, he be a hero
Solve de problem, so give a cheer-o
He turn on de water!

Ensemble
H2 H2 0 H2 H2 0

Iris
I had my doubts about this New Yorker
Thought he'd just be a big talker
But as a bossman, he's a corker
He turned on the water

Ensemble
H2 H2 0 H2 H2 0

Paperman
I'm new to Kinja, I admit
But nothing here's gonna make me quit
This island don't scare me a bit
I turned on the water!

Ensemble
It's all about da water, don't you know
All about da water, da H2O
All about da water, it ain't no lie
Widout da water we shrivel up and die!

Ensemble

Folks, Gull Reef regrets the water shortage.
Wild night out there!
Water in the sea, water from the sky, no water in the Club,
but while the pump gets repaired, let's live!
If the water can't flow, the wine can!
Champagne party in the lobby!

Champagne si, agua no
Let it rain, let it blow
To hell with the H2O
Champagne si, agua no

The Gull Reef Club's not too ship shape
Time for a party time for a break
Tonight all our troubles will soon disappear
Cause champagne is cheaper than water down here

Champagne si, agua no
Champagne si, agua no

A toast to the French who gave us these bubbles
A toast to your host who stands in this rubble
Running this hotel is no piece of cake
So cut me some slack people give me a break

Champagne si, agua no
Champagne si’,agua no

A toast to Columbus, Arawaks and Caribs
To pirates and patriots, rascals and thieves,
the limbo, the cha cha and what we love most
A free champagne party put on by our host

Champagne si, agua no

By Jimmy Buffett

Sanders
Mr Paperman, go home. Listen to me. Pretend you had a nightmare, and woke up.
This island is a hoodoo, there's death in it, and this is just the beginning.
Give it up. Whatever you've invested, forget it and go back to New York. Go
home.

Norman
I felt the ground shake
I'm out of water
Critical picture
But things ain't that bad

We could be living
In Communist China
Wearing pajamas
And shouting comrade

I'll fix the Gull Reef
It will be my salvation
We're only talking
A few renovations
Goodbye to public relations
It ain't what I do

Goodbye forever to public relations
Public relations no longer my fate
This is my life and this is my island
Starting life over is never to (sic) late

[Speaks, to Sheila]

By Jimmy Buffett

Ensemble
Hippolyte, Hippolyte Lamartine
Handiest Frenchman in the Caribbean
Got the Gull Reef Club sparkling and clean
Bravo bon travou Mr. Martine

Who patch the hole in the cistern wall
Hippolyte
Who solved my problems one and all
Hippolyte
A genie in a bottle twenty feet tall
Hippolyte, Hippolyte Lamartine

How come mine host is sitting pretty
A cistern full of water and shekels in the kitty
A million miles away from nasty New York City

Hippolyte, Hippolyte Lamartine
Hippolyte, Hippolyte Lamartine
Hippolyte, Hippolyte Lamartine

Get back to work
Or he'll chop you like sardines
Merci Hippolyte

Swing my cutlass at the tall grass
And anything that gets in my way
That's my job here, let's be quite clear
Working is how I spend my day
Scary? Verrry I can instill some fear
Owners don't know this is my show
I've seen them all disappear

Chorus
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat Paperman
I'm the only boss around
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat white man
I'm de only boss in town

Creole
Qui moun' qui, patron la C' pa blanc la ce moin'
Qui moun' qui, patron la C' pa blanc la ce moin'

Chorus
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat Paperman
He be an annoying little gnat
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat white man
Dis is Hippolyte's habitat

Creole
Qui moun' qui, patron la C' pa blanc la ce moin'
Qui moun' qui, patron la C' pa blanc la ce moin'

Now you've met me, don't forget me
Hippolyte the French handyman
But my work waits, please the ingrates
They're all a part of my plan

Chorus
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat Paperman
He be an annoying little gnat
Who's the boss man?
Surely ain't dat white man
Dis is Hippolyte's habitat

Creole
Qui moun' qui, patron la C' pa blanc la ce moin'
Qui moun' qui, patron la C' pa blanc la ce moin'

Iris
I like to think my heart is just a muscle
A muscle that I've learned to control
I figured, hell, one harmless midnight tussle
With you would rest quite easy on my soul
Now I see you're a tres, tres goddamn charmer
An actress is taught to be cool
BUT Who am I trying to fool?

Paperman
I'd like to toast your firm determination
But human nature's got the best of me
I've never forced myself upon a lady

Iris
You're about as subtle as artillery

Paperman
I've been here before and I have to admit
that I can't keep my cool
Who are we trying to fool?
Who are we trying to fool?

Paperman Don't look for me to be your savior

Iris No good can come from this behavior

Sheila
This ain't no mystery, look at our history
It's just another wild Caribbean night
The rum and drums just bring out what's in us
Temptation's been here since that very first bite
Who are they tryin' to fool?
Who are they tryin' to fool?
They should forget it, they'll both regret it
He wants a push, she needs a shove
He's got a good wife, she hides a dark life
Fuel for combustion anger and love
Who are they tryin' to fool?
Who are they tryin' to fool?
Who are they tryin' to fool?

Paperman
Life is for most of us one long postponement

Iris
If we think too much I guess we'll miss our chance

Paperman
It's our time, our night, our island, not our future

Iris It's not the whole tamale, just one dance

Duet
So Who are we trying to fool?
Who are we trying to fool?

Sheila
You got to get rid of Dat fat person man
Send him to French Guiana China or Japan
Get him off of dis island
Ders no reconcilin' Da rumours have already spread
He don't leave dis island
He lose his head
I can't help it I just tell the truth

Norman
Now Sheila I can't do that
Try and understand
He's not just some drunk asshole
He's my money man
He's got banks in Nebraska
And mines in Alaska
His childish ways can be misread

Sheila
I'll say it one more time sir
He lose his head I can't help it,
I just tell the truth

Norman
Now Lester's really harmless

Sheila
But Hippolyte's a threat

Norman
Whole life here in Kinja
Rests on this Tilson fete
I can't have a beheading
Or any blood letting
Oh Sheila tell me what to do

Sheila
Stick to do dat fat person
Like you be glue

Norman
I will keep him on the beach at the barbeque

Lester
I can't help it

We come from a long line of lenders
Who get rich just exploiting you spenders
But now we just manage our blenders
Up, up, up on the hill

It helps to be charming and funny
Have cute names like Binky and Bunny
But the main thing's still oodles of money
Up, up, up on the hill

Up on the hill we are the big cheeses
Up on the hill we own the cool breezes
Top of the heap Is where we know we belong

Up on the hill above the confusion
Up on the hill we live our illusions
Up, up, up on the hill

Marmalade mansions beneath cloudless skies
Breathtaking vistas that baffle your eyes
We're passing our days in a rare atmosphere
Sun, sea, and stars, and warm breezes all year

Our blood is decidedly blue-ish
We're leery of anything newish
And or course, darling, nobody's Jewish
Up, up, up on the hill

Up on the hill we are the big cheeses
Up on the hill we own the cool breezes
The top of the heap Is where we know we belong

Up on the hill above the confusion
Up on the hill we live our illusions
Up, up, up on the hill
Up, up, up on the hill

By Jimmy Buffett

The Hill Crowd
God rest ye merry gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
With Kinja as our domicile
There's so much less to pay
We pay our taxes here
The IRS is far away
Domicile is our comfort and joy
Comfort and joy

[No lyrics]

Henny
Hey now mine host, don't be so melancholy
You've made the most out of Amy Ball's folly
You went crazy, ran off with an actress and didn't get rich
What can I say? I still love you, you son of a bitch

Norman New York's gray and cold But somehow I miss that
Norman And
running the Gull Reef Club Bordered on hand to hand combat

Henny
You beat the odds, water Gods now it's time for shalom
Hey Mr. Paperman, I think it's time to go home

Chorus
Time to go home Norman
Time to go home

Norman
Hey Mistuh Papuh-mon
Time to go home
Chasin' illusions can get quite confusin'
Hey Mr. Papuh-mon time to go home

Norman
Henny I'm sorry I hurt you
That's all I can say

Henny
Who knows this whole episode
Just might end up on Broadway

Norman
To hell with bureaucracy and island mystery

Henny
Let's clear the air dear but no more affairs here

Norman
To hell with the hill crowd and life or death parties

Henny
I know a guy who has contacts at Sardi's

Duet
Hey Mister (Mrs.) Paperman I think it's time to go home

Chorus
Time to go home Norman
Time to go home Norman
Hey Mistuh Papuh-Mon
Time to go home
Chasin' illusions can get quite confusin'
Hey Mr. Papuh-Mon Time to go home
Time to go home Norman
Time to go home Norman
Hey Mistuh Papuh-Mon
Time to go home
Chasin' illusions can get quite confusin'
Hey Mr. Paperman
Time to go home
Time to go home Norman
Time to go home Norman
Hey Mistuh Papuh-Mon
Time to go home
Chasin' illusions can get quite confusin'

To long ago chances,
To all the long stances,
To strange circumstances,
An Island review.

Green flash at sunset,
Young love recaptured,
Just an illusion,