 I'll tell you a story that happened to meOne day as I went down to Youghal by the SeaThe sun it was bright and the day it was warmSays I, "A quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm"
I went to the barman, I says, "Give me a stout"Says the barman, "I'm sorry all the beer tis sold outTry whiskey or vodka, ten years in the wood"Says I, "I'll try cider, I heard that it's good"
Oh never, oh never, oh never againIf I live to a hundred or a hundred and tenI fell to the ground and I couldn't get upAfter drinking a pint of the Johnny Jump Up
After lowering the third I headed straight for the yardWhere I bumped into Brophy the big civic guard"Come here to me boy don't you know we're in the law"Well I upped with my fist and I shot to his jaw
Fell to the ground with his knees crumpled upT'wasnt I hit him t'was the johnny jumpAnd the next thing I met down in Youghal by the SeaWas a cripple on crutches, and says he to me
"I'm afraid o' me life I'll be hit by a carWould you help me across to the Railwayman's Bar"And after three pints of that cider so sweetHe threw down his crutches and he danced on his feet
Oh never, oh never, oh never againIf I live to a hundred or a hundred and tenI fell to the ground and I couldn't get upAfter drinking a pint of the Johnny Jump Up
Now I went up the Lee Road a friend for to seeThey call it the Madhouse in Cork by the LeeBut when I got up there, the truth I do to tellThey had the poor bugger locked up in his cell
Says the guard testing him, "Say these words if you can'Around the rugged rocks the ragged rascal ran'""Tell them I'm not crazy, tell them I'm not madT'was only six pints of that cider I had"
Now a man died in the Union by the name of McNabbThey washed him and laid him outside on a slabAnd after the coroner his measurements did takeHis wife took him home to a bloody fine wake
'Twas about twelve o'clock and the beer it was highThe corpse he sat up and he says with a sighI can't get to heaven, they won't let me up'Til I bring them a pint of the Johnny Jump Up
Oh never, oh never, oh never againIf I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten'Cause I fell to the ground and I couldn't get upAfter drinking a pint of the Johnny Jump Up(2x)
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