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Where will you go my faithful fair one?
What will you do when ye are on your own?
Whither, oh tell me, shall you wander?
December's hard winds are blowin' cruel and cold
And the snow lies deep
And the river's wide
And the sea is high
Raging is the tide
And may my love ride with you on the road to valor
And may the eye of heaven guide your soul with light
And may your foes be slain with easy hand wherever they be
Fair judgement be there on the day you pay the price
When the battle's nigh
And the pipes blow strong
Hear the battle cry
Of the highland throng
And the snow lies deep
And the river's wide
And the sea is high
Raging is the tide
Where will you go, my faithful fair one?
What will you do when you are on your own?
Whither, tell me, shall you wander?
December's hard winds are blowin' cruel and cold
When the battle's nigh
And the pipes blow strong
Hear the battle cry
Of the highland throng
And the snow lies deep
And the river's wide
And the sea is high
Raging is the tide
When the battle's nigh
And the pipes blow strong
Hear the battle cry
Of the highland throng
Where will you go my faithful fair one?
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Well, I just come down from the Isle of sky
I'm not very big and I'm awfully shy
The lasses shout as I go by "Donald, where's your troosers?"
Let the wind blow high
Let the wind blow low
Through the streets in a kilt I go
All the lasses shout hello
Donald Where's yer troosers?
A lassie took me to the ball
And it was slippery in the hall
I was afraid that I would fall
Cause I was'nae wearin' troosers
Let the wind blow high
Let the wind blow low
Through the streets in a kilt I go
All the lasses shout hello
Donald Where's yer troosers?
To wear the kilt is my delight
I'm never wrong 'cause I'm always right
The highlanders would get a fright
If they saw me wearin' troosers
Let the wind blow high
Let the wind blow low
Through the streets in a kilt I go
All the lasses shout hello
Donald Where's yer troosers?
Well, I was drivin' in my car
Went downtown to Kenny's bar
Fifteen Scotches, five cigars
And I left without my troosers
Let the wind blow high
Let the wind blow low
Through the streets in a kilt I go
All the lasses shout hello
Donald Where's yer troosers?
Let the wind blow high!
Let the wind blow low...
Through the streets in a kilt I go...
Donald, where's yer troosers..?
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I met a man with eyes like glass
Whose useful days were gone and passed
He told me in a cardboard tone
How long ago he once had flown
When I was young he did relate
I'd watch the birds as they'd escape
From the greedy ground we grovelled on
Into the clouds and then beyond...
What kind of bird am I?
How can I learn to fly?
And so each day I'd try, he said
To let go of my mind of led
And with my body floating free
Swim in the air as in the sea
This was my greatest, strongest wish
And so the air did not resist
One day above the ground I rose
And felt the air beneath my toes
What kind of boy am I?
How can I learn to fly?
I rose above the tallest trees
And summersalted in the breeze
I dove with lightning speed and then
I shot up to the clouds again
I jumped off buildings with delight
And laughed at those afraid of heights
What need has anyone for fear
When we are free and the sky is near?
Oh, what a boy was I?
When do we learn to die?
And when I saw I was alone
And no one close to me would come
I soon forgot the joy of sky
And gently back to earth came I
I've never flown again, said he
Because we're all alike, you see
Our sickness strengthens unity
And no one needs to question me
What kind of boy was I?
How could I learn to fly?
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I read about a man who'd been
Around the world and back again
Built a space ship in his back yard
And went to mars one afternoon
When he got home late that night
He said the people, they were kind
Bought him drinks and entertained him
And that's where he'd been all this time
But do they play the bagpipes on mars?
Do they have a shrine to Elvis?
Easy payments on their cars?
And what do they know about us?
Do they fly in flying saucers?
Do they have to take the bus?
Well, I got pretty curious and I built a space craft of my own
Blew a gasket and lost my oil a half a million miles from home
Fortunately, a family of martians came a drivin' by
Picked me up, and their daughter liked me
Now we're married and the kids look fine
But do they play the bagpipes on mars?
Do they have a shrine to Elvis?
Easy payments on their cars?
And what do they know about you and me?
Do they recycle plastic
And steal cable TV?
Now I got pretty homesick
So I started up a little band
We got famous - three gold records!
Bought the Partridge family's van!
Got bombed out on Uranus
Rave revues on Venus
Things got hot on Mercury
That's where I burned my piano
And now they're playing bagpipes on mars
They've got a drive-thru shrine to Elvis
Photo radar on their cars
They've learned everything from you and me
They're hanging out at singles bars
And watching MTV
... (yes they are)
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When I came to this town
I was not yet a man
Still green from the grass I once played in
A mere twenty-one years
With a lot left to learn
Far away from my home by the ocean
A naive little boy who got caught in a trap
Of too many good times and diversions
Well I slipped and I fell
And I lost who I was
But I cannot return to my island
Oh I'm lost and I'm scared
And I long for my home
For my family and friends on the island
But I cannot return
'Till I find who I am
Perhaps I'll go home when I'm sleeping.
And the lightning does crash
And the thunder it rolls
As the storm comes across
From the harbour
WHere the cruise ships are tied
With the big corporate Yachts
But no fishging boats roll
On the whitecaps
So I'm watching the storm
Is it calling me back
I can feel it well up from inside me
And it's guiding my hand
With my pen or the strings
And it's leading me back to my island
Oh I'm lost and I'm scared
And I long for my home
For my family and friends on the island
But it won't be long now
'Till I'm given the choice
So until I can choose I'll keep going
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On a cold winter's day their card was drawn
The storm raged hard and cruel upon the sea
They didn't know what hit them
As the waves rolled o'er the decks and snatched away
To fading memory
As summer gave it's life away to autumn
A promise made fulfilled on his return
A six month job with a privateer
Knowing it'll make him rich to give
All that she deserves
The farmers warned of nasty weather
The worst in many years
The winter took away her love and now
She's alone with her tears
The winter slowly passed away to spring
She spends her days out waiting on the pier
Spring turned into summer
And she realized he wasn't coming home
On a warm summer's day she went alone
Blinded by her grief she said goodbye to the sun
Up upon the widow's walk they saw her fall into the bay
A fading memory
The farmers warned of nasty weather
The worst in many years
The winter took away her love
But now there's no more tears
She brought herself back to his arms
Within a watery grave
And now they spend eternity together
Lost within the waves
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Across the loch
On the mountain side
there lives a lovely lassie I would see tonight
But I haven't got an automobile...
And my bicycle has got a broken wheel...
So... I'll.. be..
Floating 'cross the loch on my monster again
My monster's always with me
He's my very special friend
I'm going to see my lassie Sue Magoo
And if she wants to, Sue Magoo can ride my monster too
When I was wee
At the age of three
That's when I noticed that there was a monster
Very close to me
Though at that time
he was only small
We grew together and now
He has grown quite tall
So... I'll.. be..
Floating 'cross the loch on my monster again
My monster's always with me
He's my very special friend
I'm going to see my lassie Sue Magoo
And if she wants to, Sue Magoo can ride my monster too
And now I am
A big strappin' man
And Sue Magoo and I go riding every chance we can
And together we three road the swails
And one day we had wedding bells
But ten years later
Well, things did change
'Cause Sue got angry and she had my monster rearranged
And although once we were unseperable
The damage was irrepreble
And now he's floating in a mason jar
And I swear I see him dancing when I'm playing my guitar...
So... I'll.. be..
Floating 'cross the loch on my monster again
My monster's always with me
He's my very special friend
I'm going to see my lassie Sue Magoo
And if she wants to, Sue Magoo can ride my monster too
Across the loch
With my monster Jock
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Jose, get your bagpipes
And head down to the square
Seranade the passers-bye
And you'll make some money there
Jose came to this country
Looking for a chance
To make some decent money
To buy a pair of pants
But we were in recession
And jobs were far and few
So Jose took his bagpipes
And did what he had to do
Dressed in his Sombrero and Kilt
With his bagpipes and maracas
Playing away for his supper
Boiled haggis with nachos
One day while he was basking
A pretty young lassie came by
She said "Jose, take s troll with me"
Says Jose, "Si! Si! Och' 'Aye!"
They spent the day together
Then she took him to a dance
Well, Jose moved most gracefully
'Cause he wasn't wearing pants
And he was born in Mexico City
Educated in Scotland
In sandals and bright tartan pancho
Jose's fashion statement was not planned
But when Jose went to the men's room
There was trouble close at hand
Cause in came Bob, the sailor man
The roughest man in the land
Says Bob, "You're lookin' pretty
In your little tartan dress
Now you'd best be off to the ladies room
'fore I pummels you into a mess"
Now you could have heard a pin drop
As Jose tongued around
His scottish-mexican blood began to boil
And it made this kind of sound...
And when it all was over
Sailor Bob lay on the floor
He looked the saddest sorry wreck
Ever blown a shore
Now, the sailors keep a lookout
Whenever they're on the land
For they knows well that they doesn't mess
With a Scottish Mexican man!
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How much do you want for your honeydew melons
I'd give anything for those marvelous melons
I'm hungry can't you see that they belong to me
I must have those juicy melons now
You say they're not for sale, those honeydew melons
I've tried to no avail for those wonderful melons
I'll tell you what I'll do, it's entirely up to you
I'll trade you my banana and my two kiwi fruits
Why do you run away with your honeydew melons
To and fro they sway those wonderful melons
Have I offended you? You've left me with no clue
Off yonder I see coconuts, oh I suppose they'll do
How much do you want for your honeydew melons
I'd give anything for those marvelous melons
I'm hungry can't you see that they belong to me
I must have those juicy melons now
I must have those juicy melons now
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