Despised Icon Album

Plunged in bitterness,
Seduced by an ocean of disconcertment
Carrying an everlasting smile with insouciance
Cultivating this disconnection with every single interaction

You won’t lure me any further
I’ve been drinking too much shadow and now maybe I shall blossom
This misconception of human loneliness must be disregarded

I will stare at life like I never did before
This game is useless and everything so deceptive
My ambitions may look low but so is the price, I cannot win
What’s the meaning of this precious souvenir?
Suppress these feelings

Forget the man you were
Even if we both know that you’d rather be unloved and…
Forget the man you were
…nameless than be fictively surrounded

Carrying an everlasting smile with insouciance
I honestly know that demons will not hear me scream and angels won’t see me cry
Isolation is in fact the only thing I require
No false promises await in my nightmares
Nothing, except my own predestined downfall
Look at this smile and think I’m cheerful like you always were…

This in audible voice has flattered my ears
An unreal sound of distress, a sensation that aroused my being
This moment was all yours but the pleasure was all mine
All the weight I've been carrying vanished for a valuable instant

One day when this curtain will fall
Masks will be shattered

Your eyes silently scream astonishing grief
The satisfaction I devour is not retribution
Your sorrow's my devotion
I'll be rewarded with your degradation
Nourished by bitter passions,
My hunger for human deprivation will be quenched
No retribution
Your sorrow's my devotion

A furtive monologue

This unspoiled opus wasn't meant to persist eternally
Masks and disguises returned to their relevant closets
This theatrical masquerade will be lead
to its irrevocable ending

One day or another,
One day when this curtain will fall
Masks will be shattered

I have done it again
I could not avoid the soft comforting touch of your presence any longer

Increasingly isolated. I slowly find relief in silence
I sense the spirited child in me gradually letting go
Its golden smile grows weary with every disappointment
I miss the old days and I know you feel the same way
How can something this special become so distant?

The exhaustion of boredom has taken its toll
Wash these walls and and throw away the ashtray
Feel it coming
I've slept away too many days
Take me back to a place
where everything makes sense again

I never meant for things to turn out this way

No matter what the outcome is,
The good times will always remain
as intact as a static little perfectly drawn portrait
Holding on to them seems like the only thing pure enough to drive me at times

Increasingly isolated, I slowly find relief in silence
I sense the spirited child in me gradually letting go
Its golden smile grows weary with every disappointment
I miss the old days and I know you feel the same way
How can something so special fade as time goes by?

I have had it easy for most of my life
Adulthood has brought me a series of complications
Swallow these nails, turn away
I must not look back

The ills of modern man are much larger than my own personal battles
It feels like I have been fighting for nothing
The ills of modern man are much larger than my own personal battles
I have been too caught up in this crying game and I want out

I am sick of hearing myself whine
Drink this wine and choke

Here I am, still screaming away the same problems
that have fuelled this engine for years
I have bathed the faceless in a cesspool filled with my own tears

The ills of modern man are much larger than my own personal battles
It feels like I have been fighting for nothing
The ills of modern man are much larger than my own personal battles
I have been too caught up in this crying game
I quit

Deep down there is shade in all of us but there is also luminosity
My flaws have now been exposed by its brightness

I remember that brief moment when I shouted end this day
Mistakes and lessons have since gone my way

The same regrets lie noiselessly for now within these poor isolated walls
Something this sacred should not have been taken for granted
My vow of secrecy must be kept
Something this sacred should not have faded with time

I've failed you once again yet you still hold my hand

I desperately dig within to recover that sweet innocence that shined upon us
I loathe myself for every time I was moved by someone else's loveliness
All those precious moments we have shared have been violated by temptation's venomous kiss

If only I could look at you again with the same eyes that once cherished every single step you took

My heart aches whenever I think of that night you fervently whispered je ne te connais plus
This is the end of something beautiful

In those woods, I still remember the odours
The moistened bed where I chose to sleep
Surrounded by my own crimson liquor of existence,
I started to to fade in history

At that moment,
Only the sound of pulsations through my arms consolidated my seclusion

Anesthetized by fury and desolation,
I inflicted myself capital retribution

As the leaves were coloured with my constitution
Grief and lamentations suited me with astonishing cold

As the dark sky vanished before my eyes,
Fragments of consciousness could only illustrate parcels of this affair

I sadly can't restore every event in tits respective time:
Agitated voices, strident sirens and blistering pain in both arms

I crave for even the faintest touch of inspiration
Its rivers have seemingly dried up
The past weeks have silently gone by like nameless citizens in a waiting line

Scattered grey clouds have altered my strategic game plan
I must dig deep

An amalgam of taunting voices wittingly took the limelight away
from the notes that should be treasured
I have been comfortable wrapped in discouragement for far too long
Words and actions have somehow lost some of their sweetness
I need to regain my thirst for optimism

Deaf will be these ears to you serenades
Blind will be these eyes to your charades
Cold will be the front that welcomes you

Scattered grey clouds have weakened my strategic game plan

Tears of the blameless
Dancing in mist, bordering greed
Filthy, dirty and so fucking pretty

What I hated is born inside my devoured heart
Demons can surely be worst but they're only ethereal
Concrete evils are now facing the mirror

Within my putrid soul
Hate has my integrity

Please shed these tears in privacy
Don't look at me, close these, these striking eyes

Concrete evils now facing the mirror
We'll both participate and afterwards,
I'll claim my damnation

Don't say a word, ignore it all
Ignore it all
Kiss me; let's intertwine our lips for one last romance

Miles from here, you're being used as a gate to my heaven
I caused my own decline

You're so fucking pretty
What I hated is born
Dipping this spear was my only goal

Estranged
The bliss of a young man smoothly slivered in an instant
Obscured memories puncture through an opaque blindfold
Eyelids carved swiftly with oval shaped incisions
A branch in one self's fortitude reveals a radiant smile struggling to re-surface
Nostalgia plays its sniveling violin
I bleed pristine tears
Recollections of the son I once was
Stabbed my past with oxidized scissors and turned away
Awake to salvage what is left before it dies away
An oath destined to be forgotten
Strong words are nothing more than heartfelt clichés
The times have changed and so have I
Childhood dreams reduced to pale aspirations
Familiar faces have shed their skin, spawning a new found identity
A never ending pursuit of distinctiveness as blurred strenuous bonds in its path
Awake to salvage what is left before it dies away
An oath destined to be forgotten
Strong words are nothing more than heartfelt clichés
The loss of innocence
The end of innocence approaches

The acid reflux in my throat hasn't appeased my taste for bitter blondes
I've twisted so many necks and now their souls daily blind my mind

Your presence, I took for granted
I deceived your confidence

I'll never achieve emotional numbness,
Nor will I enjoy a single peaceful rest

Your presence, I took for granted
I deceived your confidence

Your angelic hand touches my venomous spine
through overwhelming nightmares
I now stand under this Damocles dagger

I'll kill again to lighten apathy towards me
The amazing brightness that makes you so precious
and exceptional tears me apart

I need your presence but my shadow is tarnishing your radiance

I feel remorse but unfortunate events
make my world uglier this morning
Repentance hurts but not enough
Let's start again tonight