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My buddy Blake was all-state with dreams of the NFL
Jenny McClain had big brains
She got a scholarship to Yale
And there was Hershel who did two commercials
And he was going to be a movie star
But all I wanted was a car
All I wanted was a car
Had a part time job making chicken for bobs at the food court at the mall
I hauled my uncle's trash
I cut my neighbor's grass
And I raked the leaves in the fall
My parents they were stunned how this former lazy bum was suddenly working sohard
But all I wanted was a car
All I wanted was a car
Yeah when I was sixteen all of my dreams revolved around one thing
All I wanted was a car
All I wanted was a car
When I finally got that big hunk of steel
Those four wheels underneath
I went everywhere in it
Broke the speed limit
And I even broke in the backseat
Now when I look outside sitting in the drive
It blows my mind to see an SUV and a sedan
And two kids playing and I can't believe they all belong to me
When I caught my mama's eye in that thing I used to drive
I never dreamed it would take me this far
All I wanted was a car
Sixteen all of my dreams revolved around one thing
All I wanted was a car
All I wanted was a car
All I wanted was a car
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Every time you take a sip
In this smoky atmosphere
You press that bottle to your lips
And I wish I was your beer
In the small there of your back
Your jeans are playing peekaboo
I'd like to see the other half of your butterfly tattoo.
Hey that gives me an idea
Let's get out of this bar
Drive out into the country
And find a place to park.
'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.
I know the perfect little path
Out in these woods I used to hunt
Don't worry babe I've got your back
And I've also got your front
Now, I'd hate to waste a night like this
I'll keep you safe you wait and see
The only thing allowed to crawl all over you when we get there is me.
You know every guy in here tonight
Would like to take you home
But I've got way more class than them
Babe that ain't what I want.
'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.
You never know where one might be
There's lots of places that are hard to reach
I gotcha.
I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you baby way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.
I'd sure like to check you for ticks...
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I work down at the pizza pit
And I drive and old Hundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I 5'3 and overweight
I'm a Sci-fi fantatic
Mild athsmatic
Never been to 2nd base
But there's a whole nother me
That you need to see
Go check out MySpace
Cause online I'm down in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
I drive a Mazarati
I'm a black belt in Karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online
I get home, I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up the mac
In real life, the only time I
Ever even been to LA
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade.
Online I live in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Kline, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I got a set of six pack abs that'll blow your mind
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
When you got my kinda stacks, it's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot
And I lose a bunch of weight everytime I log in
Online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
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When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnic
And I see a large mouth up under that log
You're probably thinking that you're going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up but remember no matter what
I'm still a guy
When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I'd like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I'm still a guy
I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by
I can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, "Yeah girls he's come a long way"
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a club
And building a fire in a cave
But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well, what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I'm still a guy
I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by
These days there's dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can't grip a tacklebox
With all of these men lining up to get neutered
Getting out of being feminized
I don't highlight my hair
I've still got a pair
Yeah honey, I'm still a guy
Oh my eyebrows ain't plucked
There's a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I'm still a guy
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When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnic
And I see a large mouth up under that log
You're probably thinking that you're going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up but no matter what
I'm still a guy
When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I'd like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I'm still a guy
I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by
I can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, "Yeah girls he's come a long way"
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a club
And building a fire in a cave
But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well, what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I'm still a guy
I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by
These days there's dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can't grip a tacklebox
With all of these men lining up to get neutered
It's headin' now to be feminized
I don't highlight my hair
I've still got a pair
Yeah honey, I'm still a guy
Oh my eyebrows ain't plucked
There's a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I'm still a guy
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You may think I'm wrong for you
And you're wrong for me
To look at us on paper
I would have to agree
It could have been the moon light
Or it could have been the wine
But the way that we were acting
Hell it could have been the moon shine
And oh we're do we go from here
I don't know
But baby one thing's clear
Some mistakes are too much fun
To only make once
There's this little straight stretch
Just south of here
It's great for mashing down the gas
And trying out fifth gear
But it's also a speed trap
Twice I've gotten caught
But something bout it calls to me
And I can't seem to stop
And oh you have the same effect
I know I'll just keep coming back
Some mistakes are too much fun
To only make once
Well there are things in life that I regret
And even more that haven't happened yet
But it would be a shame if our little fling
Always stayed a onetime thing
Someday if we're lucky
We'll get old enough to finally be embarrassed
By the crazy things we've done
Be just like our parents
Responsible and bland
No risk, no excitement
Hey lets get it while we can
Cause
Some Mistakes are too much fun
To only make once
Love like this is too much fun
To only make once
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A single red rose and a table for two
A nice chardonay and an ocean view
Ships comin in and stars comin out
We sat and we talked till the place closed down
Then we took a long walk down on the beach
Her in that white dress and her bare feet
We stopped and we watched the lighthouse light
And pulled her close and i held on tight
And i said to myself
It doesnt get better than this
No it doesnt get better than this
And it did
It did
Whoa it did
Fastforeward to that next spring
We were lookin for a preacher
Pickin out rings
Family comin in and friends comin out
To that white church on the outskirts of town
Me in that tux fightin butterflies
Tears of joy in the mommas eyes
Her daddy walkin her down the aisle
He lifted that veil and i saw that smile
And i said
To myself
It doesnt get better than this
No it doesnt get better than this
But it did
It did
Oh it did
Just when i start thinkin its as good as it can get
This crazy life does somethin just to let me know
I haven't seen anything yet
Nine months later nearly to the day
There we were flyin down the interstate
Car weavin in and car weavin out
Through traffic runnin every red light in town
Delivery room and the doctor comes in
I'm right beside and shes squeezin my hand
One more push and a baby cries
Sweet little angel with his momma's eyes
And i said
To myself
It doesnt get better than this
No it doesnt get better than this
But it did
It did
Oh it did
Yes it did
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Well hey, hey Mr. Policeman
Bet I can drive faster'n you can
C'mon hoss lets have some fun
Go on shoot me with a radar gun
You look bored and I sure am
Catch me if you can
Hey hey mr. policeman
I got a 75 firebird trans am
With a 455 up under the hood
Me and my brother got it runnin good
Wake up behind me in a mole grey van
Catch me if you can
Go on turn on your blue lights (sooo pretty!)
You know you want to I just flew by
I can see you feel it now
Hows my dust taste in your mouth?
C'mon smokey its time to race
Lets have us a high speed chase
Well hey hey mr. policeman
Chopper in the air and a couple of swat vans
That's not fair they're blockin the road
Now where am I supposed to go?
Time to use my backup plan
Catch me if you can
Hey hey mr. policeman
Bet I can run faster'n you can
With your big pot belly
And your cowboy boots,
100 bucks says you won't shoot
I know these woods like the back of my hand
Come on catch me if you can
Go on turn on your spotlight (sooo shiny!!)
I got runnin shoes and im younger than you
And I got all night
Theres no way you're keepin up with me
Just go on back to the Krispy Kreme
If you wanna quit I understand
Catch me if you can
Hey hey mr. policeman
I said hey hey mr. policeman
Im in the jailhouse now
I'm in the jailhouse now
They told me once or twice
Son, please respect my authority
I'm in the jailhouse now
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She's 98 lbs. workin down at the Dairy Queen
With an Oval V home perm and braces.
And he's long haired no job and just 19
They've got a baby on the way and
They're off to the races
In love look at em go
Now what in the world
Could go world could go wrong?
Don't tell them the odds
Its best they don't know.
If love was a plane, nobody'd get on.
At the Ivy at lunchtime in Beverly Hills
The popparazi are gathered outside
Cause' an actor and an actress are having lunch
And according to Extra and Entertainment Tonight
They're in love,
Look at em go
Now what in the world could go wrong?
Don't tell them the odds,
Its best they don't know,
If love was a plane nobody'd get on
Imagine now the pilots voice on the intercom
Right before we leave the ground
Saying folks thanks for flying with us
But theres a six in ten chance we're goin down
But that's the strangest thing about this emotion,
Even knowng our chances are small,
We line up at the gate with our tickets
Thinking, somehow were different
I mean after all
We're in love look at us go!
Now what in the world could go wrong?
To hell with the odds we'd rather not know
If love was a plane, nobody'd get on
Ya, if love was a plane nobody'd get on
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(feat. Carrie Underwood)
[Brad Paisley]
Strong like a mother holds her child
Free as horses running wild
And real as a prayer on a lonely night
And sure as the ocean tide
[Both]
Oh love
Oh love
Oh the many colors that you're made of
You heal
You bleed
You're the simple truth
And you're the biggest mystery
Oh love
Oh Love
[Carrie Underwood]
Deep as the life from Gods own breath
And it's even after death
Gone like the sunset
[Brad Paisley]
You can break a heart in pieces
Put it back together again
[Carrie Underwood]
You can break down sweet forgiveness
You're the one that never ends
[Both]
Oh Love
Ooooohhhh
Ooooohhhh
Oh love
Oh love
Oh the many colors that you're made of
You heal
You bleed
You're the simple truth
And you're the biggest mystery
Oh love
Oh love
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
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That sleepy little campfire poppin kinda craklin
We were Heatin up th pork and beans
Bubu said man it don't get any better than this
If you know what I mean
We sat there for a minute listinig to the crickets
Thinkin this is pretty hard to beat
Til Jr stood up spit in the fire
Said boys I hate to disagree
But if a bus load of women, really good looking women,
Just suddenly pulled in here
Old joe t garcia showed up with fajitas and a 100 gallon keg of beer and Haggarddropped by
And brought Willie with him
And they started takin requests
Well don't get me wrong boys this is pretty good
But it could get better than this
Bill mance and Hank parker floated by in a boat
And volunteered to be our fishin guides
And richard petty pulled up in the old '43 car
And asked us if we wanted a ride
We'd all sit around singin poncho and l
Lefty playing poker and smoking big cigars
Now don't take offense y'all im perfectly content
Just sittin here under the stars
But if a bus load of women, really good lookin women,
Just suddenly pulled in here
And Old emril degasi showed up with kilbasi
And a 100 gallon keg of beer
If Haggard dropped by and brought willie with him
And they started takin requests
Don't get me wrong boys this is pretty good
But it could get better than this
But if a bus load of women, really good lookin women,
Just suddenly pulled in here
And little jenny pikins showed up with fried chicken
And a 100 gallon keg of beer
Mearl Haggard dropped by and brought willie with him
And they started takin requests
Don't get me wrong boys this is pretty good
But it could get better that this
. . .
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You really left your mark
On this old house
And this old heart
I see you everywhere
And when I close my eyes
You're still there
And I know
You want me to move on
Start living a new life
Start writing a new song
Don't worry, I ain't going to ask you
To come back and love me
Baby you don't have to
Cuz I can be in love with you, without you
It's not that hard at all
It's like you're out of town
Just forgot to call
Just because you walked away
Doesn't mean my feelings have to change
Now I know
You want me to move on
Stop living an old life
Stop singing an old song
Don't worry, I ain't going to ask you
To come back and love me
Baby you don't have to
Cuz I can be in love with you, without you
Ohhhh and If you're gone for good
I know you'll go far
Cuz how I fell about you
Don't matter where you are
Yeah... and I know
You want me to move on
Start living a new life
Stop singing an old song
But I can be in love with you
No matter where you go
No matter what you do
I can be in love with you, without you
. . .
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Previously on the Grand Ole Opry Theater
Hi boys. You lookin fer these?
Never bite a duck
I can't say ******mas?
I don't care who we offend
Shoot low boys, they're riding Shetland Ponies
Hurry up! They're gaining on us!
The Kung Pao Buckaroo Campaign
Where's George?
George who?
Jones?
George Jo... you mean No Show?
Ya, I guess he's livin' up to his name.
He's No Show.
We need somebody to take his place.
Hey fellas what are you doing? My name is Vince. I understand that you are potentially looking for a more choloric, friendly person in your Kung Pow Mountain Boys...or whatever the h@#! you call your band.
I like this guy.
I think he's a hit.
Perfect.
The Grand Ole Opry proudly presents "Bigger Fish to Fry" starring the new Kung Pao Buckaroo's, now Possum free.
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I said a bad word when I was a kid. Mamma said that I'd be sorry for the sin that I did. My daddy whooped me and the
preacher said shame. And I tried like hell to change.
(Chorus)
But I cuss, I smoke. I laugh at dirty jokes. The minor voices. Man I know 'em well. I've closed down bars. I've lusted in
my heart. My ex's think I ougta burn in hell. But the devil he won't notice when I die. Don't you figure he's got bigger fish
to fry.
Politicians taking pork barrel bribes. Crooked CEOs are getting off with no time. Christmas Eve burglers stealing good
children's toys. (Can't say Christmas). Holiday burglers stealing good children's toys.
(Chorus)
I cuss, I smoke. I laugh at dirty jokes. The minor voices. Man I know 'em well. I've closed down bars. I've lusted in my
heart. My ex think I ougta burn in hell. But the devil won't even notice when I die. Yeah don't you figure he's got bigger
fish to fry.
Yeah there's gonna be bonfire burning. An everlasting barbecue. But with all the bad stuff going on. There ain't gonna be
room for me and you.
(Chorus 2)
'Cause we cuss, we smoke. We laugh at Tater's jokes. (spoken): Tell one Jim. You know you're old when your wife says honey
let's run upstairs and make love. And your answer is "I cannot do both." The minor voices, man we know 'em well. We've closed
down bars. We've lusted in our hearts. Our ex's think we ougta burn in hell. But the devil he won't notice when we die.Hey
don't you figure he's got bigger fish to fry. Yeah don't you figure he's got bigger fish to fry. Pass the tartar sauce
When we all get to heaven what a day of rejoicing it will be
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Sing the wondrous love of Jesus;
Sing his mercy and his grace.
In the mansions bright and blessed
He'll prepare for us a place.
While we walk the pilgrim pathway
Clouds will overspread the sky
But when travlin days are over
Not a shadow not a sigh
[Refrain:]
When we all get to heaven,
What a day of rejoicing that will be!
When we all see Jesus,
We'll sing and shout the victory!
Onward to the prize before us!
Soon his beauty we'll behold;
Soon the pearly gates will open;
We shall tread the streets of gold.
[Refrain]
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