Ben Folds Album

Oh-oh, Oh!

It was the start of the show
Hiroshima
and the people were shouting my name
as the house lights came down
and the spotlight followed me out
I waved down low to the crowd
as I busted ass on the front of the stage

Oh-oh Oh!
They're watching me, watching me fall

Maybe it was the course of adrenaline
as the concrete rose to meet my face
Maybe it was the sheer embarrassment
that kept me concious and standing as I
crawled back on the stage
and started pounding out the first song
There was blood on the keyboard...
..Oh my God.

Oh-oh Oh!
They're watching me, watching me fall
Oh-oh Oh!
They're watching me, watching me fall

You wanna see what's in my head?
You wanna see what's in my head?
You wanna see what's in my head?
Check it out 'cause;
I got pictures of what's in my head
I got pictures of what's in my head
They took of me in Tokyo
And I brought 'em back with me to the USA

Oh-oh Oh!
They're watching me, watching me fall
Oh-oh Oh!
They're watching me, watching me fall
Alright, fall!

Uh-Oh!

Hey Dr. Yin
Chain-smoking Chinese centenarian
Deck my back with pins
Connect the wires and plug me in

Uh-Oh!

Hey, Love Master Z
Sexy online psychic overseas
When my bank card clears
Tell me things I want to hear

Yeah, Yeah

Well I might be dyin'
Or maybe I got too much time
I can't stop my mind
It's runnin' right
With these false teeth
And these plastic knees
Go squeak, squeak, squeak
From the porch to the street

Hey Hey Hey Hey
Hey Hey Hey Hey

Hey Dr. Jack
Bend me like a pretzel till I crack
All my joints and bones
Beat me up and send me home

Hey

I've got too much time
Baby may I might be dyin'
Got to help me fallin' doctor
Got to help me fallin'

Hey Dr. Yang

Tread slowly from the car to the spa
Like a weary war-torn refugee
Crossing the border with your starving child
It's a struggle just to get to shiatsu

Present the waitress with your allergy card
And tell her all your problems
And leave no tip at all
Down to the shoe store with your friends
Speculate who might be fucking the guru

Rock on, rock on, with your fashionable frown
Rock on, rock on, spread the love around
Rock on, rock on, with your fashionable frown
Spread the love around

Do you remember how we managed before
We could afford real nervous breakdowns
Or before the Anthropologie store
Was erected on Indian burial grounds

So really don't you see a little of yourself
In the bathroom attendant that you just scowled at
Or the child who's hiding inside
As you wipe the smile off the teenage barista

[Chorus]

All right

You're gonna be all right, baby
You're gonna be all right, baby

Floating back from the spa to the car
A state of bliss, and it wasn't the steam room
Sometimes life's not so bad
Now we know who's been fucking the guru

[Chorus]

(You don't know me)

I wanna ask you;
Do you ever sit and wonder
It's so strange that we could be together
for so long and never know, never care
what goes on in the other one's head?
Things I thought but I never said
You said things that I never said
So I'll say something that I should have said long ago

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)

You could have just propped me up at the table like a mannequin
or a cardboard standup
and given me any face that you wanted me to be seen
we're damned by the existential moment
when we saw the couple in a coma
and it was weakened with the cliché
but we carried on anyway

So, sure, I could just close my eyes
Yeah, sure, trace and memorize
But can you go back once you know?

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all

If I'm the person who you say i am
Clueless chump you seem to think i am
So he's been led astray like an errant dog
who occasionally escapes and needs a shorter leash than I thought
Would you want me back?
Maybe it's because...
You don't know me at all

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all

So what I'm trying to say is
What I'm trying to tell you is
Not gonna come out like I wanna say it
'Cause i know you'll only change it (change it, change it)

(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all

[No lyrics]

Here in Cologne
I know I said it wrong
I walked you to the train
And back across alone
To my hotel room
And ordered me some food
And now I'm wondering why the floor has suddenly become a moving target

Four, three, two, one,
I'm letting you go
I will let go
If you will let go

(Four, three, two)

Says here an astronaut
Put on a pair of diapers
Drove eighteen hours
To kill her boyfriend
And in my hotel room, I'm wondering
If you read that story too?
And if we both might
Be having the same imaginary conversation

Four, three, two, one,
I'm letting you go
I will let go
If you will let go

(Four, three, two)

(Ohhhhh-aah)
Weightless as I close my eyes
(Ohhhhh-aah)
The ceiling opens in disguise

Such a painful trip
To find out this is it
And when I go to sleep
You'll be waking up

Four, three, two, one,
I'm letting you go
I will let go
If you will let go

Have you seen that dog?
I've got to get him back
I had him tied to a tree
but he keeps getting out

He's probably running loose with the bitches
And when I catch him I'll give him some stiches
Oh I love him so much, aw, that stupid bitch is mine.

Errant Dog (Woo-oooh!)
Errant Dog

(Uh!)

They're talking down at the spa,
Now the word is out.
God damn I look like a tool,
when he goes running around.
I'm gonna take him on court TV;
Show the world what he's done to me
Oh I'll drag his ass back home, yeah, where that ass belongs

Errant Dog (Woo-oooh!)
Errant Dog

(Uh!)

He's my everything; he means the world to me
He's my hopes, my dreams, my general property

Sometimes I wonder why I put up with this shit
If I could I would become a lesbian
I know I said dead or alive but really,
Dead is fine.

Just bring him back, yeah.

Errant Dog (Woo-oooh)
Errant Dog

Called in sick one day
stepped out my front door
squinted up at the sky
And strapped on my backpack
Got into a band
and when I returned I had
Ex-wives and children,
Boxes of photographs

And they gave me some food
And they didn't charge me
And they gave me some coffee
And they didn't charge me

And when I was broke I needed it more
But now that I'm rich, they give me coffee

Eating an ice-cream cone
Texting with my thumbs
The state of the asshole
Who pulled into my lane
Life could be longer than it's cracked up to be
You get new cells every seven years
I feel seven today;
It's a good day to die again

And they gave me some food
And they didn't charge me
And they gave me some coffee
And they didn't charge me

And when I was broke I needed it more
But now that I'm rich, they give me coffee

The bitch went nuts
She stabbed my basketball
And the speakers to my stereo
She called me cunt
But nothing prepared me for
What I found when I came home

Oh and I
Make my own bed
I lie in it
You lie in yours (you lie, you lie in yours)
But they want more
They're at my door
With torches
Please leave me alone
You know just shut it just shut it just shut it

The bitch went nuts
She photoshopped my face (shopped his face)
On to every boy who'd done her wrong
Then she burned them telepathically
Onto the brains of all her embittered drones

Oh now
Now they want more
They're at my door
With torches, scores and scores and scores
To settle with themselves
Who would have thought
I'd scorned them all
They've got a doll of me
They're burning, they're burning, they're burnin
Their own memories

Why do they all know? (Go!)

The bitch went nuts y'all
But everyone said she might
Oh, holy fuckin' shit
Seriously now
Now they want more
they're at my door
with torches, scores and scores
You would have thought
I'd scorned them all
They've got a doll of me
They're burnin'

Why do they all know? (Go!)

If you've ever been brainwashed
then you know all about [yeah]
how it feels to be messed with
to your insides
fall out [yeah]

'Cause when you're being fucked with
to no end
Suddenly the walls are starting to
close in, close in, close in!

Because you're brainwashed [yeah]
you are brainwashed
Because you're brainwashed [yeah]
You...

If only I could see behind those eyes
why can't you pick on someone else your own size?
[Yeah]
I never was one for being mean to other people
[No]
Like when I was a boy and went to church with the big steeple
[Yeah]
But you have gone too far over the line
I wish that I had a button
rewind, rewind, rewind!

Because you're brainwashed [Yeah]
You are, you know it's true
Because you're brainwashed [Yeah]

Didn't think that I would see through all those lies
but you're just offering a batch of...shit pies

I've gotta say it made my day to be best friends with you
What happened to the person I once knew
you know it's true [yeah]
I make a motion that we sit down and talk this whole thing out [yeah]
Or are you too much of a child, still want to be a little boy scout?

With friends like you who needs friends, somebody once said
I'd rather put a bullet into my
big head, big head, big head!

Brainwashed [yeah]
You know it's true [yeah]
Because you're brainwashed [yeah]
Believe me, yeah, can't you see?
The knife has many possibilities

Brainwashed, brainwashed, brainwashed...

If there's a god,
he's laughing at us
And our football team.

Effington could be a wonderful f'ing place
I can see it from the highway
And I'm wondering
Are they f'ing in their yards
f'ing in their cars
f'ing in the trailers and the backroads and the parking lots of Effington
Making my way to Normal, Illinois.

Maybe I should ditch this little white rental on the interstate
And start a new f'ing life...in effington
I could change my name, grow a beard, start a family
Or I could just keep moving on, moving on, moving on, moving on
Not stop 'til I get to Normal.

I want to live in Effington
I want to die there too.
Please bury me in Effington
In Effington
In Effington
Oh

I've got this movie in my mind of Effington
And the soundtrack to it sounds like this

I want to live in Effington
I want to die there too.
Please bury me in Effington
In Effington
In Effington
Oh

If there's a god,
he's laughing at us
And our football team.

And then the people who live in Normal
Can buy the movies that I'll make in Effinghton
That's what normal people do
Normal people do it too
Normal people do it too
Normal people do it
People do it
People do it
People do it

I want to live in Effington
I want to die there to.
Please bury me in Effington
In Effington
In Effington
In Effington
In Effington

It's just a thought
But where did it come from?
What does she do with it if it comes back?
A note from his assistant
There by the telephone
Wonders again as she turns out the light

Kylie
is calling from Connecticut
She says you've got the number
It said Kylie
is calling from Connecticut
It's still on her mind as she closes her eyes

She believes there are things you shouldn't know about
when you've been married for 35 years
and her heart belongs to a man that she hadn't seen
since a magical night when the children were small

But Kylie is calling from Connecticut
She says you've got the number
It said Kylie
is calling from Connecticut
It's on her mind as she closes her eyes

Kylie is calling from Connecticut
It's probably nothing, yeah, nothing at all
It said Kylie
is calling from Connecticut
It keeps coming back as she's reading old letters
that she left in the closet with the pictures she cherished
that she kept to herself for a good 30 years
Now she closes her eyes

Is this the way to normal
Is this the way to normal
Show me the way to normal
Show me the way to normal
Show me the way to normal
Is this the way to normal

You can blame it on the President
But what if it was you
Who was the White House resident
Or could you save the starving children
When there's so much else to do
With all the problems of the world
Coming down on you

So this is the way
This is the way to normal
Show me the way
Show me the way to normal
Alright

You can say my music's bullshit
In your uppity review
But if it was you here at this keyboard
With all the people waiting
To hear your next CD
And throw you in the garbage
Or hail your masterpiece

So show me the way
Show me the way to normal
This is the way
This is the way to normal
Alright

All these corporations poisoning our air
The children sad and hungry but they don't even care
Let's get together people
We've got problems here to solve
Let's make this world a better place
Before there is no world at -

Is this is the way to normal
Is this is the way to normal
Sh- Show me the way to normal
Show me the way to normal
Show me the way to normal
Show me the way to normal

Long way to go,
Long way to go
Long way to go

Long way to go,
Long way to go
Long way to go

Long way to go,
Long way to go
Long way to go

Long way to go,
Long way to go
Long way to go

Long way to go,
Long way to go
Long way to go

Long way to go,
Long way to go
Long way to go

Long way to go,
Long way to go
Long way to go

I want to live in a land where there's free coffee
And the beer flows out of the ground
The women are nice and they don't think twice
About kissing you and fooling around

I wanna live in a place where there's lots of diamonds
And the parties last till dawn
The fights don't hurt and there's chocolate dirt
And the weed is grown instead of the lawn

Is there such a place
Well I guess there could be
If we all could be so gentle
If we call could be so free
Coffee

Is there such a place
Well I guess there could be
If we all could be so gentle
If we all could be so free
Coffee

I wanna live in a place where there's free coffee
When they bury me in the ground
I'll have a smile on my face
I love life
In this free coffee town

Is there such a place
Well I guess there could be
If we all could be so gentle
If we all could be so free
Coffee

Why do we frown?
Is it something within us
Or in the world at large?
Maybe it's both, y'all
Sadness deep inside
Something we can't hide
We yearn for the past but it's not there
And it makes me frown
Yeah, it makes me frown

You look at the news
Always giving me the blues
War, death and chaos
All around me now
And the media's controlled
People do just what they're told
Just want to stand up and yell, "Is anybody out there?"
'Cause it makes me frown
Yeah, it makes me frown

It's hard to find hope
But maybe we can learn to cope
By listening to one another
It's a trust thing
'Cause I know that you have feared
'Cause I know the end is near
But just lend an ear
And we can make it happen
'Cause it makes me frown
Makes everybody frown

Oh, I know it can get hard
When you look out your backyard
See the ozone falling apart before you
And recycling's a bitch
I've got just one wish
(That his children won't grow up in a freakin' trash can)

A piano's all I got
And I know that ain't a lot
Music has the power
To change the future
So what do you think
'Bout my message of hope?
Better get with the program
Before it's too late, y'all
So if you wanna start right now
You better take that fuckin' frown
Better turn it upside down

Just give in to love
Yeah, give in to love
Give it up for love
Amen to love
It's gotta be love
Or it'll make you frown
Ah, it makes us frown
Ah, it makes me frown
'Cause it makes me frown

[No lyrics]