Ben Folds Album

September '75 I was 47 inches high
my mom said by Christmas I would have
a bad-ass mother G.I. Joe
for your little minds to blow
I still got beat up after class
yeah, now I'm big and important
one angry dwarf and
200 solemn faces are you
if you really want to see me
check the papers and the TV
look who's telling who what to do
kiss my ass
goodbye

don't give me that bullshit,
you know who I am
I'm your nightmare,
little man
Vic, you stole my lunch money,
made me cry
Jane, remember second grade?
said you couldn't stand my face
rather than kiss me you said you'd rather die

I'm big and important
one angry dwarf and
200 solemn faces are you
if you really want to see me
check the papers and the TV
look who's telling who what to do
no, kiss my ass
goodbye

you'll be sorry one day
yes you will,
yes you will
you shouldn't push me around
'cause I will,
yes I will
you will be sorry when I'm big
yes you will,
yes you will
you will be sorry

now I'm big and important
one angry dwarf and
200 solemn faces are you
if you really want to see me
check the papers and the TV
no,
look who's telling who what to do
kiss my ass

kiss my ass,
kiss my ass goodbye now
kiss my ass,
kiss my ass goodbye now

kiss my ass,
kiss my ass goodbye now
kiss my ass,
kiss my ass goodbye now

(look, now I'm playing you bitch!)

(September '75 I was 47 inches high)
(September '75)
(September '75)

aah!

Sara spelled without an ‘h' was getting bored
On a Peavea amp in 1984
While Zak without a ‘c' tried out some new guitars
Playing Sara-with-no-h's favourite song

(La da da da, la da da, la da da)
(La da da da, la da da, la da da)

Zak and Sara

Often Sara would have spells where she lost time
She saw the future, she heard voices from inside
The kind of voices she would soon learn to deny
Because at home they got her smacked

(La da da da, la da da, la da da)
(La da da da, la da da, la da da)

Zak and Sara
Zak and Sara

Zak called his dad about layaway plans
And Sara told the friendly salesman that:
"You'll all die in your cars,
And why's it gotta be dark?
And you're all working in a submarine"

(Asshole)

She saw the lights, she saw the pale English face
Some strange machines repeating beats and thumping bass
Visions of pills that put you in a loving trance
That make it possible for all white boys to dance
And when Zak finished Sara's song, Sara clapped

(La da da da, la da da, la da da)
(La da da da, la da da, la da da)

Zak and Sara

Now the houses are ghost over Silver Street
you've got them dressed up like clowns
married couples slamming doors
bums praising the lord
your playing tapes for the town

well the neighborhoods next
and your college friends
are getting younger every year

the wind don't blow
and the grass don't grow
your never leaving Silver Street

You bought some brown wire frames at a junkshop
that was your trademark at school
now they're barely hanging on
and the styles are moving on
hard for a man to stay cool

now the seasons change
and the storefronts change
everything else stays the same

the wind don't blow
and the grass don't grow
your never leaving Silver Street

Now don't get me wrong
cause, oh-o, woah - I
like this neighborhood
and, now, seeing you was good
but we spent the day
so completely uninspired
asking why oh why would I be tired?

they're filling the potholes in on Silver Street
waking the neighbors up at noon
and your friends are out on break
and your out on your brown lawn
raking the dirt with a broom

now the seasons change
and the storefronts change
everything else stays the same

the wind don't blow
and the grass don't grow
your never leaving Silver Street

never leaving
never leaving
never leaving
never leaving

I feel like a quote out of context
with holding the rest
so I can be for you what you want to see

I got the gestures and sounds
got the timing down
it's uncanny, yeah, you'd think it was me

do you think I should take a class
to lose my southern accent
did i make me up
or make the face till it stuck
I do the best imitation of myself

the problem with you speech
you gave me was fine
I liked the theories about my little stage
and I swore I was listenin'
but I started drifting around the part about me acting my age

now if its all the same
I've people to entertain
I juggle one-handed
do some magic tricks and
the best imitation of myself

maybe i'm thinking myself in a hole,
wondering
who I am when I ought to know
straighten up
now time to go
fool somebody else
fool somebody else

last night I was east with them
and west within
tryin' to be for you what you want to see
but I can't help it if you
the good and bad comes through
don't want you hanging out with no one but me

our love is all the same
it come from the same place
if my minds somewhere else
you won't be able to tell
I do the best imitation of myself

yeah its uncanny to see
you'd really think it was me
I do the best imitation of myself

You took a trip and climbed a tree
At Robert Sledge's party
And there you stayed 'till morning came
And you were not the same after that

You gave your life to Jesus Christ
And after all your friends went home
You came down, you looked around
And you were not the same after that

(Ahhh ahhh)
You were not the same after that
(Ahhh ahhh)
You were not the same after that

You see 'em drop like flies from the bright sunny skies
They come knocking at your door with this look in their eyes
You've got one good trick and you're hanging on you're hanging on...
To it

You took the word and made it heard
And eased the people's pain and for that
You were idolised, immortalised
And you were not the same after that

Walking tall, you'd bought it all
And you were not the same after that
Till someone died on the waterslide
And you were not the same after that

You see 'em drop like flies from the bright sunny skies
They come knocking at your door with this look in their eyes
You've got one good trick and you're hanging on you're hanging on to it

(ooh ooh ooh ooh)
(YOU WERE NOT THE SAME!)

You see 'em drop like flies from the bright sunny skies
They come knocking at your door with this look in their eyes
You've got one good trick and you're hanging on you're hanging on...

You're hanging on...

Jane, be Jane
you're better that way
not when your trying
imitating something
you think you saw
so Jane, be Jane
and if sometimes that might
drive them away
let them stay there
you don't
need them anyway

you're worried there might not be
anything at all inside
but that you're worried
should tell you that's not right
don't try to see yourself
the way that others do
it's no use

you're worried there might not be
anything at all inside
but that you're worried
should tell you that's not right
you've had it harder than
anyone could know
so hard to let it go

but it's your life
you can decorate it
as you like
beneath the pain and armour
in your eyes
the truth still shines
Jane, be Jane

1, 2
1, 2, 3

I got up and I drove to work
on the wrong side of the road
and what the hell would I do —
I must admit I didn't know
and Andrew came along y'all
to add a couple of lines or so
I got one I finished yesterday
and I got three-point-six to go

one down and three-point-six tomorrow
and I'm out of here
one down and three-point-six tomorrow
and I'm out of here

people tell me "Ben, just make up
junk and turn it in",
but I never was alright with turnin' in a bunch of shit
don't like wasting time on music
that won't make me proud,
but now I've found a reason
to sit right down and shit some out

one down and three-point-six tomorrow
and I'm out of here
one down and three-point-six tomorrow
and I'm out of here

yeah, yeah

I love you more than
any man has loved before
I love you more than
all the stars up in the sky
I think that we should settle down
and live happily forever
after...

what do you think of that?

I'm really not complaining
I realize it's just a job
and I hate hearing bellyaching
rockstars whine and sob
'cause I could be bussin' tables
I could well be pumping gas
yeah, but I get paid much finer
for playing piano and kissing ass

and it's one-point-six yesterday
and three-point-six last

one down and three-point-six tomorrow
and I'm out of here
one down and three-point-six tomorrow
and I'm out of here

one down and three-point-six
one down and three-point-six tomorrow

Fred sits alone at his desk in the dark
There's an awkward young shadow that waits in the hall
He's cleared all his things and he's put them in boxes
Things that remind him: 'Life has been good'

Twenty-five years
He's worked at the paper
A man's here to take him downstairs
And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones
It's time

There was no party, there were no songs
'Cause today's just a day like the day that he started
Noone is left here that knows his first name
And life barrels on like a runaway train
Where the passengers change
They don't change anything
You get off; someone else can get on

And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones
It's time

Streetlight shines through the shades
Casting lines on the floor, and lines on his face
He reflects on the day

Fred gets his paints out and goes to the basement
Projecting some slides onto a plain white
Canvas and traces it
Fills in the spaces
He turns off the slides, and it doesn't look right
Yeah, and all of these bastards
Have taken his place
He's forgotten but not yet gone

And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones
And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones
And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones
It's time

6 a.m.,
day after Christmas
I throw some clothes on in the dark
the smell of cold
car seat is freezing
the world is sleeping
I am
numb

up the stairs
to her apartment
she is balled up on the couch
her mom and dad
went down to Charlotte
they're not home to find us out

and we drive
now that I
have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
than I ever have before

she's a brick and I'm
drowning slowly
off the coast and I'm
headed nowhere
she's a brick and I'm
drowning slowly

they call her name
at 7:30
I pace around the parking lot
then I walk down
to buy her flowers
and sell some gifts that I got

can't you see,
it's not me you're dying for?
now she's feeling more alone
than she ever has before

she's a brick and I'm
drowning slowly
off the coast and I'm
headed nowhere
she's a brick and I'm
drowning slowly

as weeks went by
it showed that she was not fine
they told me, "Son, it's time
to tell the truth" and
she broke down
and I broke down
'cause I was tired...
of lying

driving back
to her apartment
for the moment we're alone
yeah, she's alone
and I'm alone
and now I know it

she's a brick and I'm
drowning slowly
off the coast and I'm
headed nowhere
she's a brick and I'm
drowning slowly

(I hope we got that on tape, because it was a really...)
(Is someone saying something?)
(...it was a really...)
(I don't know)
(...I was thinking...)
(No, I think I hear some kind of noise — cut that shit!)
(I was thinking about, you know,
respecting your work with Steven and...)

I should warn you
I go to sleep
I know you don't
know what I mean
yet
I get
upset or happy
I go to sleep
nothing hurts when
I go to sleep

but I'm not tired
I'm not tired
I'm not tired
I'm not tired

I know it seems
that I don't care
but something in me
does, I swear
I don't remember
all last year
I left you awake
to cry the tears
while I was dreaming in streams
flowing between the shores
of joy and sadness
I'm drowning
save me
wake me up

I should warn you
I go to sleep
you won't know when I go to sleep
'cause I'm not tired
I'm not tired
I'm not tired
I'm not tired

I'm not tired
I'm not tired
I'm not tired

I'm not tired
I'm not tired
I'm not tired
I'm not tired

I'm not tired
I'm not tired
I'm not tired
I'm not tired

well, I thought about the army
Dad said, "Son, you're fucking high"
and I thought,
"yeah, there's a first for everything"
so, I took my old man's advice
3 sad semesters
it was only 15 grand
spent in bed
I thought about the army
I dropped out and joined a band instead
grew a moustache and a mullet
got a job at Chick-fil-A
citing
"artistic differences"
the band broke up in May
and in June reformed without me
and they got a different name
I nuked another grandma's apple pie
and hung my head in shame, no...

I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today

oh, I think I'll write a screenplay
oh, I think I'll take it to L.A.
oh, I think I'll get it done yesterday
(oh, shit!)

in this time of introspection
on the eve of my election
I say to my reflection,
"God, please spare me more rejection!"
'cause my peers they criticize me
and my ex-wives all despise me
try to put it all behind me
but my redneck past is nipping at my heels (ha ha ha)

I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today

well, she crept back in the house at half past 3
shook her head to see him snoring in his sleep
"if you really loved me," she said,
"I wouldn't have to be so mean"
he's a heap of junk that pours from his top drawer
he sometimes likes to spread it out around the floor
it's evidence of what he was like
he likes to remember when

the end is growing near
and we're treading water now
and holding back our tears
and the day is rising,
we're sinking

in a minute it will all be coming down
and they know it now,
but no one makes a sound
such a shame to ruin this bright
lazy, sunny day

the end is growing near
and we're treading water now
and holding back our tears
and the day is rising,
we're sinking

my oh my,
the cruelest lies are often told
without a word
my oh my,
the kindest truths are
often spoken,
never heard

she said,
"you've been pushing me like I was a
sore tooth"
"you can't respect me 'cause I've done
so much for you"
he said,
"well I hate that it's come to this,
but baby I was doing fine"
"how do you think
that I survived the other 25 before you?"

the end is growing near
and we're treading water now
and holding back our tears
and the day is rising,

Blue jean baby
L.A. lady
seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed
pirate smile
you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her
dancing in the sand
And now she's in me
always with me
tiny dancer in my hand

Jesus freaks out in the street
Handing tickets out for God
Turning back she just laughs
The boulevard is not that bad

Piano man he makes his stand
In the auditorium
Looking on she sings the songs
The words she knows, the tune she hums

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can hear me
When I say softly, slowly

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today

Blue jean baby
L.A. lady
seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed
pirate smile
you'll marry a music man
Ballerina
you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me
always with me
tiny dancer in my hand

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can hear me
When I say softly, slowly

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen

(Rock this bitch? Ok.)

I'm gonna rock this bitch.
Tell you what, I'm gonna rock this bitch.
I'm gonna rock it,
like the bitch has never been rocked before.
Tell you what I'm gonna do:
I'm gonna rock this bitch.

won't you look up at the skyline
at the mortar, block, and glass
and check out the reflections in my eyes?
you see they always used to be there
even when this all was grass
and I sang and danced about a high-rise
and you were laughing at
my helmet hat,
laughing at
my torch

go ahead you can laugh all you want
I got my philosophy
[keeps my feet on the ground]
and I trust it like the ground
that's why my philosophy
[my phil]
it keeps me walking when I'm falling down
[los-o-phy]

I see that there is evil
and I know that there is good
and the in-betweens I never understood
won't you look at me, I'm crazy,
but I get the job done
yeah, I'm crazy, but I get the job done
and I say:

go ahead you can laugh all you want
but I got my philosophy
[keeps my feet on the ground]
and I trust it like the ground
that's why my philosophy
[my phil]
it keeps me walking when I'm falling down
[los-o-phy]

I pushed you 'cause I loved you guys
I didn't realize
you weren't having fun
and I dragged you up the stairs
and I told you to fly
you were flapping your arms
you started to cry, you were too high
no, too high

now you take this all for granted
you take the mortar, block, and glass
and you forget the speech and move the stone
but it's really not that you can't see
the forest for the trees
you never been out in the woods alone

so you can laugh all you want to
but I got my philosophy
[keeps my feet on the ground]
and I love you, you're my friend
but you got no philosophy
[my phil]
it keeps me walking when I'm falling down
[los-o-phy]

[cap that bitch off, somebody]
[driver]
[screaming]
[where's the party?]

I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?

And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away

I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know

That I am
I am
I am

now, I wish it was
last September
we could lose ourselves in crowds everyday
'cause Emaline
don't walk in time
she's not the same that's all you can say
when I've heard enough,
I tell myself
that we've learnt our lesson, but I
don't wanna walk away from Emaline
they're talking now
does she know what they're saying?
she's got the air
to float above it
I'm sinking in the "someone should pay"
she's dear to me
and so expensive
now I'm not talking 'bout money
when money talks,
I hate to listen
but lately it's been screaming in my ear
and when I've heard enough, I tell myself
that we've learnt our lesson, but I
don't wanna walk away from Emaline

it only took me one look to understand Emaline
sometimes I don't
know what she's saying
sometimes I do
sometimes I don't know what she's
saying
but I know, I know
I know what she wants to believe

I wish it was
last September

don't let me walk away from Emaline
for stupid reasons
now I'm talking 'bout money
when money talks,
I hate to listen,
but lately it's been screaming in my ear

yeah, what advice!
girls need attention
or are you different than all mine?
for all it's worth,
she's got attention
from people like you who see black and white
I've heard enough,
I'll tell you what
really shouldn't sit here and whine
I'll take you down to see my Emaline