Bayside Album

My friend,
You're always the last one to leave
Those dimly lit rooms.
Making sure the last glass makes its way to the table empty.
And every bottle in the place
Has been upside down
At least a few times what a waste.
Is this what's left of you these days?

You're not eighteen anymore.
Five years should have been,
enough time for you to grow up and get over this.
Not too cool to be throwing up all morning sick
from what you might have done or done it with.

And I swear if I could take your pain
And frame it and hang it on my wall,
Maybe you would never have to hurt it all.
Painting pictures in red and blue.

A portrait bruise just like you
And now you're walking away.

You're not eighteen anymore.
Five years should have been,
enough time for you to grow up and get over this.
Not too cool to be throwing up all morning sick from what you might of done.

When is enough, finally enough?

The hang-ups and the heartbreaks get you past.
Our failures lay down but just accept yourself.
Find some thing that brings you closer to complete.

Painting pictures in red and blue.
A portrait bruise just like you and now you're walking away.

You're not eighteen anymore.
Five years should have been,
enough time for you to grow up and get over this.
Not too cool to be throwing up all morning sick
From what you might of done or done it with.

When is enough, finally enough?
When is enough, finally enough?

The night skys black and i'm awake lying on the ground.
the grass beneath my feet is hard and cold just like i've come to be.
the stars are gone behind the clouds and i can't see a thing
so i'll just let my eyes stay closed just like me, i can't open up.

[chorus:]
cause i'm all wrong and i don't see a chance to fix this head
so just give up. write me off, pretend i don't exist.

there's something in an empty bed that makes it hard to close your eyes.
it can eat at you until they both turn black and blue
and all you want is a reason you should live
or a way for you to die, a way for you to die.

[chorus]

[bridge:]
the grounds opening up. i'm falling down below
an endless fall into a place that i don't think a child should know.
and i'm screaming out a name that could never pass my lips.
the poison in my veins that got me through her kiss.

[chorus]

[bridge]

and now i'm too hung up on that to have anything with you,
it's the poison in my veins,
the poison in my veins
the poison in my veins that got me through

Well, Today is the 15th.
And you know what that means,
Time to sit and go through boxes of old pictures.
See if I can bring myself to,
The brink of giving up,
I never follow through, you tell me all the time.

Spend my days looking back,
And I wonder if you're looking up,
From underneath someone who is able to be, everything that I'm not.

I'm visiting that grave,
And the epitaph has already been chiseled in my mind,
I'm breaking it all down right now,
The way I should have let you go,
And let you ruin one life instead of two.

I'll spend tonight by myself,
For the first time, I'll try to look ahead,
And find something that,
Isn't doomed like we were,
Now all I need,
Is a second chance.

Spend my days looking back,
And I wonder if you're looking up,
From underneath someone who is able to be, everything that I'm not

The sidewalk's cracked and dirty face
Is look up from underneath my feet,
It's staring at the hallow, broken boy,
Who's lost and wandering these same old streets,
And every night I wander here alone,
A night that we won't meet.

[Chorus]
I wonder when.. when I'll finally understand,
Why time can wash away love like,
It was made of sand,
And it's wonderful
The pain that comes with regret,
Sometimes you have to see the beauty,
In all of this loneliness.

The streetlights flicker, and they fade,
Like every good intention that I've had,
And every face that passes through my mind,
And I'll be struggling with these same old dreams,
Until the concrete turns to sand,
And I'm swept up by the waves.

[Chorus]

There's only so many chances that you get to do,
Something that's this important,
Now I'd rather sink than swim.
Sewer grates keep spitting up their steam,
Exhaling all the broken dreams I've flushed away.

And I wonder when, when I'll bow out,
Wash me away like I was made of sand,
And it's wonderful, it's wonderful

There's a voice in my head telling me why I should hate you,
But I hate myself instead.
There's a pair of dead eyes in the mirror looking back at me.
I guess its wrong to live life so lifelessly.

Scars are tearing open along my palms and knees.
I guess thats what I should get for crawling back at your feet.
And now I'm feeling so down, that there's no God above.
No mercy for a soul thats just way too fucked up.

There's a pain in my chest growing stronger with every heartbeat.
Now there's nothing left of me,
but empty bottles of pills and Bacardi.
Yes, I guess its wrong to live right.

Scars are tearing open along my palms and knees.
I guess thats what I should get for crawling back at your feet.
And now I'm feeling so down, that there's no God above.
No mercy for a soul thats just way too fucked up.

Leave me here to die

Empty fields move me so much more then rooms filled up with friends.
The way the trees look dead
reminds me that there's more to life then living.
Maybe giving up's not bad, but part of letting go of you.

If I surrender to this feeling maybe all the aches and pains will go and I can close my eyes,
never again to have them open till I bleed out all I've been.
I don't want to be alone no more, no more

Take this razor, sign your name across my wrists
so everyone will know who left me like this

Empty fields move me so much more then rooms filled up with friends.
The way the trees look dead
reminds that there's more to life then living.
Maybe giving up's not bad, but part of letting go of you.

So take this razor, sign your name across my wrists
so everyone will know who left me like this.
Sew me up, my scars run deep
A reminder not to forget the times that we've had.

I'll never waste another second. I have wasted so much time
and I have wasted, wasted so much time
so much time

Take this razor, sign your name across my wrists
so everyone will know who left me like this.
Sew me up, my scars run deep
A reminder not to forget the times that we've had

The sharper the edge the cleaner the wound,
so i'll be keeping it dull tonight for i deserve to hurt.
disfigure the outside to show how ruined i am.
there's no pain and no pleasure when you're too numb to feel.

there's a pedestal across the room and if i try to climb again,
this time the fall is fatal.
i don't deserve such and easy exit,
so maybe my spine can snap on impact and i'll have to crawl away.

i'm ready to take that big step, start tearing off the layers i put up;
or is it too late to be anything but what i am?
identify the problem,
now let's see if we can fix anything.

just close the door and let me do what i believe,
cause it's better for us if you just let me leave.
i
i'm ready to take that big step,
start tearing off the layers i put up;
or is it too late to be anything but what i am?
identify the problem, now let's see if we can fix anything.
how to fix everything...

Don't lift me up
With your strong intent on dropping me back down.
Are you like this, afraid to be yourself?
And if you somehow get through all of this
without hating yourself for all of it
and you know that I will hate you enough for the both of us.

Spent that night alone, the first in a long time
forgotten all the loneliness and darkness in my life.
But you lost a friend, the day that you let go
..to drown in the sea of regret and no one knows...
that I'm alone and I can't blame anyone but you.
Self-loathing once filled me but now I know the truth.

Spent that night alone the first in a long time,
forgotten all the loneliness and darkness in my life.
But you lost a friend the day that you let go to drown
in a sea of regret and no one knows.

Spent that night alone the first in a long time,
forgotten all the loneliness and darkness in my life.
But you lost a friend the day that you let go to drown
in a sea of regret and no one knows

Don't mean to scare you but i've
i've not been sleeping lately
and phone calls aren't doing much to help
so if it's all the same i'd
just ask to never have to
offer explanation or excuse again

we make believe every day
we make our lives seem like they're still worth living
when we find out in the end
it's only us that we've been kidding

so find the darkest place and
search under blankets for me
smothering myself in this darkness
i am lying down tonight and
you're not lying with me
but honesty doesn't sit so well on you
some things you just can't fake

we make believe every day
we make our lives seem like they're still worth living
when we find out in the end
it's only us that we've been kidding
just another stupid drama
that no one notices but you
and you only take an interest when
there's nothing else to do

but you won't mind
wait for all of it
i can't go wait for all of this
but you won't mind
you wait for all of it
i can't go and wait for all of this

we make believe every day
we make our lives seem like they're still worth living
when we find out in the end
it's only us that we've been kidding
just another stupid drama
that no one notices but you
and you only take an interest when
there's nothing else to do

Push me out from the darkness
To a sky that's colored blue
Somewhere someone's finding happiness
While I'm still here so hung up on you

Nothing is real
And I want you to know
That I'm not alright
When you tear open my chest
I'll try not to flinch
I won't make promises
I won't make promises
You taught me that.
I'm still losing what's left of my self esteem
And I'm still watching the slow fading of all my daydreams

The hardest things to say are the words that mean the most
So I'll bite my tongue til it bleeds and I doubt you'll even know
The easiest things to fake are feelings to fool someone else
And I've been tricked for so long by you that I spent these last few months in my own hell

A failed apology
A day too late but now I see
That all you really want's to see me dangle neck first from a tree
But what would you need me for
You've got friends galore
And all you've ever been to me is a waste of time and nothing more

Nothing is real (Nothing is real)
and I want you to know (and I want you to know)
That I'm not alright (That I'm not alright)
When you tear (tear open my chest) open my chest
(I'll try not to flinch) I'll try not to flinch
(I won't make promises) I won't make promises
(I won't make promises) You taught me that

I hate myself
For loving you like this
And I hate myself for hating myself
Just enough to love you
Just enough to love you

You wanted to know just what makes me tick,
I guess I could say that,
You and your bullshit,
Are pushing me towards an explosion.
I guess you're what drives me.

I wish I could ride you,
Drive you too fast into a sharp curve,
Break your neck like you broke my will,
The guardrail will take you home.

I guess you get caught up,
In the day-to-day,
Drama of being you.
To notice me,
And what's become of my eyes,
The vessels are an angry red,
Just like the blood from my lips, as I chew on them.

I wish I could ride you,
Drive you too fast into a sharp curve,
Break your neck like you broke my will,
The guardrail will take you home.

I keep your picture as a reminder, of what I wish I wasnt.
It's like a fun house mirror version of myself, through those fucked up eyes of yours.

I wish I could ride you,
Drive you too fast into a sharp curve,
Break your neck like you broke my will,

The guardrail,
The guardrail,
The guardrail,
will take you home