Weird Al Yankovic
"Headline News"

Once there was this kid who
took a trip to Singapore and brought along his spraypaint
and when he finally came back,
he had cane marks all over his bottom.
He said that it was from when the warden whacked it so hard.

Mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm.

Once there was this girl who
swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion
and when she finally made it,
she saw some other girl who was better.
And so she hired some guy to club her in the kneecap.

Mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm.

Mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm.

They got paid for there soundbytes
and sold their TV movie rights.

And then, there was this guy who
made his wife so mad that one night she cut off his weiner
and when he finally came to,
he found that Mr. Happy was missing.
He couldn't quite explain it, it'd always just been there.

Mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm.

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Aaa Aaa Aaa Aaa Aaa Aaa.

Aaa Aaa Aaa Aaa Aaa Aaa
Aaa Aaa Aaa Aaa Aaa Aaa.