John Cooper Clarke
"Bunch of Twigs"

In the isle of man there are no louts
They're all down the dungeons dishing it out
Think them tough but tender
With a bunch of twigs
And a young offender

Old men with purple necks
Who tell you sport is better than sex
Rejuvenare an old pudenda
With a bunch of twigs and a young offender

Sweet little fifteen on a summer hike
Vandal maimed, vandal spite
Vandals sent to up above
A punishment meted out with love