Dane Cook
"Obby"

Weve always had creepy people around; somewhere in your life theres
a creepy individual, and it starts off when we're youngins.
When we're youngins theres a creepy person.
Back in school.. back in the day... which, by the way,
I dont know if you know this, was a Wednesday.
Thats a little fun fact.
Yeah, when you refer to back in the day, it was a Wednesday.
Take that home, chew it.. its delicious.
Back when we were little tots there was always that one kid in school,
that kid in class, smelt like piss. ..Right?
Robby was his name.. Robby or Obby.
He was an Obby name... And Obby didnt just smell like a hint of piss.
He didn't smell like a smidgen of piss.
That kid smelt like he was dipped in a vat of piss.
Like he woke up that morning and said, “Woah, bring on the piss!”.
And someone brought on the piss.
I don’t know who would bring piss on, but you can pretty much
hire anybody on Google these days ta...
Just type in piss painters or something and im sure somebody would
come over and coat you down, put a sheet of piss on ya for a reasonable
price. .. He would steal from the class.
He was a FUCKIN THEIF. A FUCKING, STEALING, THEIF.
He would use his piss vapor as a way to detour you from watching
him STEAL SHIT from the class.. cause hes a theif, a klepto thief Obby...
He would always take my favorite markers, those smelly markers.
Remember those? The teacher would put them out, everybody would freak.
Give me the red one! Give me the red one! (snuhh haha snuhhhh)
This smells like cherries. (Snuhh) I guarantee you this, its like cherries,
but it’s a marker. (Snuhh) Give me the brown one; ill trade you.
Give me the.. (snuhh).. cinnamon! This ones cinnamon.
The brown is cinnamon (snuhh). How do they do this? How do they do this?
But the black one always smelled like an asshole, didn’t it?
Youd grab the black one (snuhh) - What is that? (snuhh)
It’s a bag of asses. (snuhh) Im keepin this, this ones mine. (snuhh)
I cant stop guys, I cant! (snuhh) I just saw Jesus’s eyes.
This marker has shown me Jesus’s eyes!...
And even though this marker smelt like an asshole,
and you just saw Jesus’s eyes...
there was still a kid following you around – Can I smell it? Can I smell?
What does it smell.. I didn’t get uhh.. Can I just uh.. Uhhh…
Can I smell Uhhhh..
And finally he would aggravate you till you were like – Here, fine, smell it!
And when he leaned in you would be like – Arrrggggg!
Hahaha, nice face! Im gonna puke blood, what are you?
WHAT ARE YOU? Arrg..