Barbra Streisand
"Blind Date"

Fanny & chorusSmooth the sofa, plump the pillowsDump the ashtrays, oh this dressLook at me I am shaking all over,Shaking all overI'm a messWaiting wondering what I'll be thinkingWhen he comes walking through that door
What'll come walking through that doorA man I never saw in my life beforeOh,I am so nervousI got a blind date waiting to call on me (any minute now)I got a blind date what am I gonna see (any minute now)Right over there's the doorway, he will be walking throughWill he be six foot eight or maybe four foot two (it could happen)
I got a blind date waiting to come around (any minute now)Oy but I'm nervous listen to my heart poundWhy do I need this headache, single is not a crimeI got a blind dateAn with my luck he'll be on time
I got a girlfriend shirley, who says why not (she's an idiot)This guy is a friend from a friend of a friend she got (hello, how do you doWhat an idiot)One thing I know is shirley ain't sitting on no shelfIf he was such a vow she'd keep him for herself (it's only natural)She says she is he's nice and he deals in stocks (sounds good, but she's anIdiot)I'll bet a buck he looks like month-old lox (also and idiot)What do I need from shirley her and her fifty cupI got a blind date and I'm praying he stands me up
Wait wait, what am I praying he stands me up, I'll stand him up. I smell a ratAnyway. umm. I'm gonna hide under the bed, he'll never see me, he'll walk in and lookAround, I wouldn't be there, he'll go away and that's the end of that.Perrfect!Now you keep quiet, not a word you hearYou didn't see a thingOeps there he is!Now quiet everybody sssh quiet!

Blind date: rosalie? !Rosalie: oi, oi, oiBlind date: rosalie? ! that's odd she doesn't seem to be hereRosalie: smart, smart!Blind date: I've been stood up, it's newsRosalie: well it's better than put downBlind date: this has never happened beforeRosalie: what and ego!Blind date: rosalie? !Rosalie: sh, sh, sh!Rosalie: it worked, it worked!He never saw me. boy am I lucky I didn't see him neither,But I can just imagine what a lox that one was.
Rosalie: I got it right her shirley was playing tricksVoice: no, no, that's wrong, you got it wrongRosalie: wait, wait, what that's not right? Voice: no, he was gorgeous he looked like rudolphRosalie: rudolph who? Voice: rudolph valentinoRosalie: get awayVoice: yeah, the sheik from arabiaRosalie: not the phantom from the opera? Voice: uh, uhRosalie: the sheik from where? Voice: the sheik from arabiaRosalie: get awayVoice: that's rightRosalie: wait a minute is this person kidding me around here? Voice: no, no absolutelyRosalie: get awayRosalie: well that's what happened I let him get away
What do I'll do now maybe become a nun (that's impossible)I'm calling shirley maybe she'll bring a gunPlease shirley, even if he's lon chaney fat, bald or short or tallHaving a blind date is better than havingNo date, at no time with no one at all.Wait a minute maybe I spoke too soonShirley get me out of here!Oh this one is cute.